Part 7: The Truth About Mallow

Part 7: The Truth About Mallow

Despite not being too bright, Mallow and Mario knew one thing for sure: that liquid carrying them away from the sewer sure as hell wasn't water. Nevertheless, they eventually found themselves on top of a waterfall, overlooking Midas River.


As they would soon find out, it was called Midas River due to the vast amount of golden coins available. Where did the Frog Coins fit into the scheme? Perhaps King Midas was feeling a bit sick that day. (Get it? Sick = green in the gills = green coins??? )


Anyways, after reaching the bottom, Mario found himself on top of a barrel in the fast-flowing river, desparately attempting to stay on a barrel. He had just gotten all that sewage off of him; he certainly didn't want to reapply it.

Successful, he made his way to the bottom, where a strange hobo took all his coins, giving him a single Frog coin and "holding" the others.

Also,

Left Ventricle posted:

If you get less than 65 coins you fail.

Hell yeah, sucka!


Hobo: Okay.....I feel a little bad about taking all your cash. Here's a NokNok shell. It's a collectible from one of the invincible koopas in Super Mario World and will never break.
Wait, did you just break the fourth wall? You're freaking kidding me! You could have made up some bullcrap way you found it, involving shanking Toad for it, but NO. You had to go and blow the immersion for these guys.
Hobo: Sorry.......I-I didn't think it would be a big deal.
Whatever, your pay is getting docked, and you'll receive one write-up. Also, your request for a mushroom character to appear as a contestant in the next SSB? Denied.
Hobo:


Not feeling the least bit remorseful, Mario and Mallow ventured on and on, finally reaching Tadpole Pond (it was actually like 12 feet away). And this is the base of the river? I think it's safe to call it Tadpole Lake



Oh, yeah. That makes perfect sense.

Mallow: Oh, look! Here comes grandpa.
He's a fat toad being held up by a fishing pole and string. What, is it made out of spider silk?

Frogfucius: Dang it, Latiku! You blew my entrance.


So, uh, Mallow said you might could help us out. We're looking for stars and stuff.


Frogfucius: Come, follow me on these ridiculously strong tadpoles.

....so then, a big sword flew into the castle.


Yeah. I know. I was getting to that.
Frogfucius: Oh. I just figured you thought you were the only one who flew out.
Why would I be the only one affected by the shockwave? That's absurd! Who do you think I am - Mallow?
Frogfucius: Yes, he didn't exactly inherit my aptitude. Or anything else, for that matter. In fact, it's time I told you this now. I hadn't told you because I assumed you'd figure it out on your own, but you're obviously a bit too dense for that. Mallow, you're




Frogfucius: And apparently the rest of you are dim-wits, as well.

So how exactly did you find Mallow? Weren't there legal channels and stuff you had to go through?
Frogfucius: Nah, not when you're the leader of the Amphibian Mob. Anyways, I found him resting in a crummy basket, floating in a pile of literal crap in Midas River. I found a note, too. Apparently, just another teenage mom couldn't take it, and thought the best logical solution was to send her kid alone in a disease-ridden river to float on to where who knows who would find him. Anyways, I decided to keep him around because


Frogfucius: Or, at least, I thought he was more than a piece of fluff. I'm now fairly certain that's all his brain is, anyway.


Frogfucius: What.......is he serious? Yes, Mallow, I only just slightly implied that by TELLING YOU DIRECTLY! Anyways,


Frogfucius: And while I'm not sure how mentally stable they are, you should still go find them. On your way, try and find the other 6 star pieces.


So is there a star piece there, too? Cause I'm not helping out anyone unless there's a pretty sizable reward.
Frogfucius: Yes there is. Now go, and take this with you for my step-grandson. All I ask in return is the Cricket Pie you brought for me.


Frogfucius: This might help Mallow become slightly less of a wimp. Doubtful, but possible.


Ah, musical notation. Obviously, there's going to be somewhere where I need to hop on a bunch of tadpoles in sync with these notes.


Who's this Toadofsky character he's talking about?


Oh, that's who. He looks like a total douche. Plus, how did one of the mushroom people get to Tadpole Pond? Goodness knows he didn't bravely face Belome and the sewers.


Good thing I took Musical Theory 101. But it's too bad the store this works at still sucks.


Having finished stalling for time, our heroes left Frogfucius, Toadofsky, and the rest, and headed out towards Rose Town.

And that's it for this installment. Tune in next time for part 8: How a Child's Toy Brought Down Jumpman