Part 9: Moles Can Sing?

Cupid's Aneurism


Having just said farewell to Gaz and his milf, Mario and Mallow headed off to the forest to find the source of all the arrows.

They encountered even more new enemies, including


Wigglers: Big. Freaking. Caterpillars.


Amanitas: They appear to be the devolved forms of the mushroom people, making them the absolute dumbest characters in the game.


Guerrillas: They pretty much tied up Donkey Kong, took away what little was left of his brain, and for some reason put chains on him.


Buzzers: These douchebags nearly always poison you right off the bat. It's a good thing I forgot to equip my Antidote Pin!


and Octolots: I really can't think of anything to say except "What the hell?" and "Well..........it's original, that's for sure......"

Anyways, back to the story. Throughout the forest, they saw many Wigglers walking around.


These proved to be a limitless source of coins and Frog Coins, as long as you were skilled enough to stay on.

Along the path, our heroes both learned new skills





before finding all the Hidden Treasures here (#7-12).







.......wait. What the hell? What exactly did I miss?


They then travelled through a weird, seemingly never-ending four-path road until they found


the Treasure Room


and a stranger-than-strange escaped mental institution patient by the name of Bowyer. That's right. They changed one letter from Mario's arch-enemy's name. He was apparently the one shooting the arrows, considering he himself was a bow.

Poor guy. I'm gonna go put him out of his misery.


No, I think I'm Mario. My whole schtick is taking on more guys than I can handle. I just jump on their freaking heads until they die. Plus, there's one idiot with 30 arrows. Are you really scared of an arrow?
Mallow: Wait, there's someone coming. Let's hide for a minute to see if someone comes out of the sky to help out.



Bowyer: Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya.......
Geno: ....okay........
Bowyer: Nya. Nya. Nya. Nya. Kill you. Nya. Nya.

Mallow: They look like they're fighting, Mario. Are you gonna help that blue guy out.
Well, I don't feel like it, but they have that other star, so I'll help him out, and then backstab him for it.


Wait......you don't get the Sticky Glove until later on! Put that away before everyone gets confused!


Now with new and improved Arrow Jump!


Time for my fresh out of the box Super Flame. Too bad the turbo key isn't working for this fight!

Mallow - C'mon. Everyone's counting on you. Do your thing. SHOCKER!!!!


Mallow - Sonuva......I accidentally did Psychopath again!


After a long battle, including many Super Jumps on the part of Mario, they beat the hell out of that retard. Hell yeah! A flower box, baby!

Geno: Thanks for the help. I'm getting all the stars so wishes work again.
Mallow: I wasn't aware they quit working. Just then, I wished for us to beat Bowyer, and we did.
Geno: Really? Hm......well, might as well collect 'em anyways. You help me out, I'll help you?
....I guess. What's your name again?


Nah, Hearteighthnoteexclamationmarkquestionmark isn't that hard to say, it just takes forever.


Supastar!

They all went back to Rose Town for a quicky with Gaz's mom.


I don't really need to say anything else, do I?


What the.......so THAT's why all your games are late!



Moleville sounds kinda boring. I'm gonna go to Pipe Vault instead.

While they were there, they ran into a couple more enemies.


Sparkys: Big ole fireballs. If ever there was a Mario character that needed to be a Pokemon, it's this guy.


and Piranha Plants: You're telling me you seriously have never heard of these guys? Have you even heard of Luigi?


They even caught a glimpse of the Shy Ranger before he ran away like a little girl.


They also found two new Hidden Treasures. (#13 & 14)


Playing a rip-off of Whack-a-Mole is always fun! How ironic is it that it's a mole hosting it?


Emerging from the pipe and finding themselves on Yo'ster's Isle, Mario and co. uncovered ANOTHER Hidden Treasure (#15).

Dang it. What the hell are YOU doing here, Mario? I thought we had an agreement
Meh, I'm bored. Let's do something fun.
Fine....

Hey Boshi, you're so slow, I bet I can beat you with Mario on my back.
Boshi: IT'S ON!!!!!!!


Boshi: Wow.....I AM slow.....

I'll give you a Yoshi Cookie if you leave us alone.
Deal.




Not really satisfied, they headed off towards Moleville.


While there, they stalked up on supplies.
For goodness sakes, Mallow, wear these pants. They might make you a little more useful.

They also spied on Bowser some more.


Bowser: Keep on truckin. They can smell what the Koopas are cookin!!!!!!!!
Goomba: .........so ANYways, I heard that your cousin died the other day. Condolences.
Bowser: Isn't the cardinal rule in this army to NEVER speak of Bowyer. That guy embarasses the crap out of me.
Goomba: I'm sorry, my liege.
Bowser: Whatever. Rookie mistake. Let's head out, Team Awesome!


Ya see. We're simple folks whose doesn't knows how to talks right.


Fine, I'll help the stupid kids out. But only cause they said a star fell in here.

That's it for this special super-duper extra-sized edition. Tune in next time for Moles Can Sing?