Part 5: WAR!

WAR! All across the empire our females sharpen their claws, preparing for the scouring of the misbegotten Human Customers that is to come. Males hone their tactical skills by playing Greatfather's Ground Control. The Greatfather himself fashions a grand strategy that will ensure victory for the Zuul:



This strategy is bold as it is daring, relying on speed and guile to take the fight to a confused and demoralised enemy. Our War Astronomers have identified a likely area of space as the homelands of the hideous humans, based on Equal Star Apportionment Theory:



We can assume that the humans will seek vengeance, and that they will send a fleet to Thundara to learn what happened to their newly sanctified planet. This fleet will likely push on to the surrounding stars in an effort to locate the base of our survey fleet. Medea is a long way from any colonies beyond Thundara, and we expect that it will be out of range of any war fleet if the humans are subject to similar constraints as us. However, this does not preclude its being located by a scouting fleet, and so once the 2nd Survey Fleet has finished surveyed Thundara, it will return to Medea and act as a guard.

This war will be won by the side that can get the most heavily armed fleets to the front line the most quickly; scouting fleets can easily be destroyed by ships that do not need to take their supplies with them. Our plan must therefore involve rapidly building a supply chain to the front line before the humans realise they're under attack. The shortly to arrive 3rd Survey Fleet, headed by the Lord Windy will head to W'kanda to locate any habitable planets in its vicinity. We will then seek to colonise Corvus, and move a colony fleet and construction fleet to Medea, relocating the 2nd to Corvus to make space. Assuming either W'kanda or Thundara has a habitable world, we will rapidly build a colony and a naval base in orbit thereof, and this system will become our base of operations. Two fleets will be developed: one intended to defend the base against human incursions, and a raiding fleet designed to bring home as many slaves as possible, to develop this base. Upgrading the forward naval station will be essential for this plan to work. Phase One of this plan is below:



Intelligence

All Zuul are instructed to drink deeply of the minds we found in the wreckage of Thundara, and feast upon the thoughts therein. They revealed that the Humans are a primitive race, suffering the indignity of having evolved 'naturally' rather than through wise design. This original sin repeats itself in their culture and their war-making; their recent history is one of eschewing glorious conflict in favour of unnatural co-operation and protection of other forms of life. We believe this is the result of a series of tremendous wars on their home planet, the last of which saw the majority of its population consumed by nuclear fire. The survivors of this conflict rebuilt their world on immoral egalitarian lines, and instituted strong environmental safeguards(!) to avoid further damage to their planet. Such pandering to lesser lifeforms is a sign of their moral inferiority.

The trauma of nuclear war appears to have driven the humans to further madness on a species-wide scale. A dead, dangerous language known as 'Latin' has been resurrected by an organisation known as the Neo-Catholic Church, and made the official language of its adherents. This bizarre affectation has spread to their other heresies - their naval forces actually worship their sun, and have as their motto 'Sol Invictus'. All forward intelligence operatives are instructed to begin interrogations by telling prisoners that the Zuul have eaten their 'Invincible Sun'.

There are many other heresies - a dominant one is known as Utilitarianism, and appears to involve the worship of containers for 'recycling' products after use, instead of tossing them aside as is proper. Our limited data cannot explain this madness, and further interrogations are aimed at explaining why anyone would select this 'Tertium' as a symbol of religious faith:



Apparently this is as important as the 'Cross' of the Neo-Catholics. Our Inquisitors profess themselves baffled.