Part 93: What Could Go Wrong?

[BGM: Stampede of Truth]


…

…

… ...So I have some questions.

Obviously I don't actually mean Rooster Rooster. Dead him means nothing. But what if we pretend he's not dead yet, and we use him to blackmail Dog into killing some one in Dragon's group?

...Yeah, I still have a few questions.

How are we going to pretend that we have Rooster hostage? He's dead, and Dog's going to suspect that unless we show otherwise.

Then we'll simply show otherwise.

Ox went to Rooster's body and ruffled around the corpse. Then, he pulled out a key item.



Rooster's mask?

Yup.

So, why are you showing me this?

Look, we have his mask, we have his clothes. I think the implication is pretty obvious.

Hold on a minute... you're not suggesting we pretend to be Rooster, are you?

Kind of?

How stupid do you think they are?

[BGM: Ox's Logic]


Look I'm not saying that the fake Rooster goes up and talks to them, but from a distance, with the right clothes, we can pass somebody off.

Well how do you get someone to look at the Rooster from a distance?

Here's what I'm thinking. First, one of us will dress up in Rooster's clothes and put on the mask. We tie that person to the chair like they're a hostage. That person can try and struggle like they're Rooster, it'll be a grand old time.

Another one of us can stand by the fake hostage and look like we're threatening Rooster with their life. Then a third of us can get Dog and show him the scene, then say if he wants Rooster alive he has to bring the body of someone from Dragon's pack.

Then we'll release Rooster, and the final act will be a 3 v 3 fair duel.

Doesn't that negotiation run into a whole host of problems?

Okay, yeah, but I think we could probably bluff our way through it, maybe.

I don't know.

Well, what do we have to lose? We're already in a pretty bad situation. If we don't do anything else, we're bound to get killed or executed. I say we try it.



I say it's a harebrained scheme the likes of which you'd see in a Looney Tunes cartoon. ...But, honestly, at this point? Fuck it. Why not? Why not do a funny fake hostage prank with disguises and shit? Might as well.

You don't sound the most enthused, Mouse.

I took a hard turn to apathy at some point between the start of this shitshow and right now.

Not the best emotion to turn to, but I guess it'll do.

So who's going to be the hostage? Obviously it can't be me.

It's clearly going to be Mouse.

Hold on a minute, why is it 'clearly' me?



In case you couldn't tell, I'm a different race than Rooster.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm a different gender!

I already said it'll be at a distance, and you'll be tied up.

I don't like your implications.

There's no way we can fully hide skin to the point where someone doesn't notice my race. I think we can sell you as a convincing Rooster, though.

…

Come on, you've literally got the easiest job!

Fine, whatever.

Alright, now we're talking.



Tiger, you're going to be the hostage holder. All you have to do is stand threateningly over Mouse with a knife. Do you think you can manage that?

Aye aye, chief. I've always wanted to be a hostage taker.

...Weird aspiration, but we'll work with that. Meanwhile, I'll try and get Dog to come down on his own so we can do the negotiations.

What are the odds we successfully pull this off?

I'd put it at a generous ten percent.

...I'll take it.

And so, we began the most ambitious Scooby-Doo caper so far. I stripped Rooster and changed into his clothes in the restroom. ...He wore far too much stuff. I also took the opportunity to input the action for this Round. I wasn't sure when I'd have a chance to do it after this, and better safe than sorry. We had already agreed to simply run this round, since we didn't want to risk Dog's group actually ending up in last place, and we already had such a lead.

It took a bit of doing to convincingly tie me up. We found some jump ropes in the nearby workout room, so we used those to tie me up. The process of being bound up like that was... not enjoyable. It reminded me of the fact that I was tied up by Brian only hours ago. God, it felt like a lifetime ago. I had completely lost myself in his stupid race. We all had. I was going to be a completely different person after this was all over. ...No, don't think about that. I feel like if I dwell on that for too long, I'm liable to start having a wavering heart. I don't need that to survive.



Ox also stuffed my mouth with a rag. I asked him why this was necessary if I was already going to have a mask over my head, but he said Dog might make me say something, and he doubted if I could convincingly 'sound gagged'. He probably wasn't wrong on that, but I suspect that wasn't the real reason he suggested it.

Eventually, we had the setup. Seeing through the mask was difficult. It was also wicked uncomfortable. Still, I had the easy part of the job. It was up to Ox to somehow sell this crazy bluff to Dog. If he could even find Dog – a big if. It was possible Dog was going to stay firmly with the big group. I worried at the chances of this plan's success. Luckily... I didn't need to be too concerned. After a while, Ox did in fact bring Dog down near the cafeteria. He kept Dog at the end of the hallway, but I could still hear their conversation.

Huh. Well I'll be damned. I knew the guy was an idiot, but to get himself captured like this? How'd you even get him tied up like that?

He was pretty out of it when we knocked him over the head.

Huh. And you're saying he's still alive?

Good as ever.



I took this as my cue to prove my 'aliveness'. I struggled in my chair, legitimately trying to escape, while making muffled screams.

Quiet, prisoner!

Tiger smacked me in the back of the head in what I'm sure to her was a joking manner... but to me actually hurt quite a bit. She was a little too into character... All I could say was thank god it was Ox doing the negotiations.

Alright, alright, I get what you're saying. You really have us by the balls, don't you?

We do.

So what do you want?

We want someone from Dragon's pack dead.

Someone dead, huh?

Yes, and we want proof. Provide us the body, and we'll return Rooster and his tablet. Then we'll settle the rest of things – pack v pack.

[BGM: Silence]


Hm. And how do I know you'll honor things? If I bring you Snake's head, you could just stab Rooster and then you'd instantly win.

We'll have to work out some sort of system. Maybe if you bring someone unconscious, you could drag them into that side room down the hallway. Then we'd let Rooster come to you, while I went in there to finish the unconscious person off.

That'd make betrayal harder, don't you think?

Woah woah, now you're talking about 'unconscious people' all of the sudden? You realize that's a lot harder than killing someone?

Sounds an awful lot like your problem. I promise that if you hold up your end, we'll hold up ours, but if you can't trust us, then come up with a solution you can accept. But I don't think that you exactly have the best bargaining power right now.

Fine, fine. I'll think of something. Just don't kill him, okay?

We won't. For now.



Jeez, no need to make with the threats like that. I'm already going along with this. You've gotta be more understanding than that.

…

Well, I'll get on it while I still can.

See to it that you do.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

I don't need luck.

And just like that, Dog walked towards the stairwell. Ox made sure he left, and then breathed a sigh of relief. The negotiations had actually worked.

[BGM: Queen of the Jungle]


Hell yeah! Great job, Ox.

I hope he bought it.

He totally bought it.

Mmph mmmphh mph.

Exactly right, Mouse.

Mmmph mmmmph!

Calm down, we'll get you untied from there.

Mmph mmmph.

After all, we're going to need to make a hostage swap.

Mmmph?



It'll be easier to discuss if we just free you for now.

Ox walked over and got me free. Thank god.

Hostage swap?

You heard the negotiations. We're going to have to send you over there.

Then they have me as a hostage!

Don't worry, I've got a plan.

Ox held up a knife. Then, he stuck the knife in my jacket pocket.

A... knife?



As soon as you're over there, you're going to have to stab Dog.

Stab him??

You don't need to kill him, he'll die on his own soon enough, just injure him. Do you think you can handle that?

Yeah, whatever, I've already said I'm prepared to win. My issue with this plan is the fact that, oh you know, I'll be tied up!

Don't worry about that.

Ox picked up the jump rope and began to tie my hands behind my back.

Uh, a little warning might be nice.

Sorry. Now look, it looks like you're tied up right now, right?

Right?

But if you pull here...



Ox guided my hand, helping me pull on a part of the rope. The moment I yanked the part I held, the whole rope fell apart.

Voilá!

Not bad, not bad at all. Pretty impressive ropework there. Where'd you learn these sorts of knots?

I was a Boy Scout for many years.

A Boy Scout? Ha! Of course you were a Boy Scout.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing, nothing at all.

You know what? We need to get ready in case Dog comes back all of a sudden.



Back to being a hostage you go.

Hey, wait a minute!

At his behest, Ox and Tiger tied me up again, stuffed my mouth with a rag, and covered my face with the Rooster mask.

There we go.

Now you're looking like a proper hostage, Mouse!

…

I just hope Dog actually follows through on this hostage business.

Oh, of course he will. Why wouldn't he?

You know, I truly wish I could approach life with the amount of optimism you seem to always have. I truly, truly do.

[BGM: Silence]


It took a while before anything else noteworthy happened. I just stood there, tied up and gagged in Rooster's mask. My mind started to wander about how I got to this point in my life. Luckily, the sound of thuds broke me out of that long, dark, winding road.

I think that's him.

Sure enough, out of the stairwell, Dog dragged Dragon's limp body. Seriously? This was actually working?

Ugh... jeez. Man, no matter how many bodies you drag, you never get used to it.

You've dragged a lot of bodies?

I'm a bartender, a lot of people tend to pass out.

Oh.

And I also used to be a cop.

Huh.



Anyways, here's your unconscious pack member.

I can see that. You got Dragon?

Well, Snake would've been easier, but where's the fun in that?

Wow. How were you able to pull that off?

With a little help from this.

Dog held up a metal chain and swung it around in a circle.

Strangling someone to the point where they pass out, but not so much where they die? It's an artform.

...Disturbing, but I'm not going to argue with you. Go on then, bring her into that room over there.



Dog nodded, then proceeded to drag Dragon's body into the nearby room.

I've held up my end of the bargain. You going to do the same?

Yeah, yeah. Tiger, let him go.

On it.

I felt Tiger's hands, which were on my shoulders, let go. I had to act like a frantic hostage now. As indignantly as I could, I ran over to Dog. I made sure not to face him. It wouldn't take a close look from him to realize I wasn't Rooster. Luckily, Dog's focus was on Ox, who began to make his way into the room Dragon was knocked out in. He was about to finish the job. Murdering Dragon... I'm sorry, Dragon. I'm sorry, Bunny, Snake. But if it's you or me, I choose me.

I knew what I had to do. I started to pull on the rope, beginning to untie it. However, before I could finish, Dog turned over to me.

Glad to have you back, Rooster. Now that you're here, mind doing me a favor?



Die.