Part 3: Updates 11-15

Update 11

Ka0 posted:

go to a parlor and have your tattoo completed itll save you days of hard work trust me (the emporer wont notice)

Well, there's no tattoo parlor on our Star Destroyer, but I happen to have this fancy Magenta Highlighter

I can't remember what the full mark looks like . That's okay, that fancy tattoo will command some respect...

Now, about that shadowy figure...

KarmaEnforcer posted:

Ask the shadowy dude if it's true about the razor blades thing.

"Hey there sweet stuff! "
Officer Questions:
1) "How may I serve the emperor?"
2) "Is the urban legend about vaginal razors true?" [Selected]

Response:
"There's only one way to find out, hot shot!"


...



I guess that means she doesn't know?

Axe-man posted:

find the shadowy figure again and beat him until he is dead.

...I don't feel so good about this guys. I think I hear the CO coming

Update 12

Mr. Pumroy posted:

Take off your flight suit and put the body in it, then disguise yourself in the robes. Quick before anyone sees! Also, tell him that the pilot is being a pussy and needs to be physically placed into the TIE.

That's a pretty terrible idea. You can't fly TIE fighters without a spacesuit

Chief Rebel Angel posted:

Pau posted:

do a barrel roll

wrong

the answer is clearly to use the boost to get through

Finally, an answer I can get behind!

Minigame: Tilt your monitor left, right, up, or down to make George Lucas reach the TIE Fighter to start the next mission. Remember to avoid your CO since you killed a Hooker of the Emperor, and bonus points if you can grab the ice cream in thirty seconds.

Update 13

Axe-man posted:

done and I got the ice cream all in 20

Excellent, we got to the TIE Fighter AND got some ice cream. Things are looking up.


So, I took the liberty of starting the next mission:

Here's the space platform. Don't worry, I already inspected it


And while I'm at it, I'll go ahead and inspect our wingman:

It says its cargo is a "Tug"

Its Steve! I guess he got a promotion

Together, we start the patrol route, and sure enough, the rebels are showing up:

Some X-Wings and some Y-Wings. I think we can handle that. Wait a second, something else is showing up...

Pau posted:

Do a barrel roll

Chief Rebel Angel posted:

the answer is clearly to use the boost to get through

ahahahah, ROB released the land master, wut a nub


What do we do now???

Update 14

Axe-man posted:

write slash fiction about fox and ziggy in the cockpit and let them take out the the xwings.

Not sure how that works, but I'll get right on it!

Oh god, the ice cream!








...its everywhere!

Update 15

Well, its not looking good. We're heavily outnumbered and the Space Station is being bombarded.




But wait...what's that over there?

It looks like a...

"Double Wing Blaster"

That's what I always thought he said.

notZaar posted:

Contact Fox to offer him a piloting job, then garrote him in the Star Destroyer barracks later.

I target fox and press "shift-o" and he says:
"Thanks for blowing up that guy, he was always such an insubordinate ass. We'll join you"





garroting noted

Well, what now? Mop up duty? Board the great fox? Go home and play Civ 4 again?