Part 7: Updates 31-35

Update 31

Facial Butter posted:

A victory class star destroyer? What you need to do there is what any force fearing person would do to an old hotrod. Trick it out. Give it a chrome trim and some huge flaming novelty exaust.

We gave it a try, and now its on the cover of Hip Ship Magazine!

Cav posted:

We should totally take over whatever planet produces those hot slave girls Jabba keeps around.

After hacking into the Empire's Wikipedia Website, I have learned that Ryloth would indeed be an excellent planet to start with, for the following reason:

Since one side of the planet is a desert wasteland, and the otherside being an ice wasteland, we only have to conquer the middle. That's like, 10% of a planet to conquer!

The small standing navy defending it retreated the moment we showed up, so it looks like its going to be a ground assualt from the get go.

"You will be piloting the AT-AT known as 'Badmitton'. You will have two companion AT-ATs, the 'Ping Pong' and the 'Wall Ball'."

"Two groups of AT-STs, Alpha and Beta group, will move in first for preliminary scouting."

"It appears that Ryloth is under control by the Hutts right now. Since Jabba is still on Tatooine, he has sent his younger brother Bubba the Hutt to take control of the slave trade here. We're not sure what kind of active ground forces Bubba can throw at us, so be prepared."

"If we can take Bubba's HQ, we should be able to convince him to surrender the rest of the planet."








Meanwhile, back on Hoth

Lobok posted:

Have that Titanic ship ram into Hoth.

They say that the band played on, even while being devoured by wampas

Update 32

Ground mission started!

You can see Bubba's palace up ahead. The middle strip of Ryloth that's hospitable is in perpetual twilight. I WONDER WHY THEY CALL THEM TWILEKS???

AT-ST Fun Fact! :

AT-STs can sprint up to 90 miles per hour! Woo!

Anyway, it looks like the defenders are finally here:

They're using speeders and tow cables, how original Alpha and Beta groups are fighting them the best they can, but there's too many. How would you guys suggest an AT-AT deal with these little buggers?

Update 33

deadpan posted:

Have the AT-ATs lean forward on their front legs and then kick out with their back legs like a donkey when the speeders try to fly behind them.

This will push AT-AT technology to its limits!

First, we angle the head and body so that they are pointing downwards, toward the ground:

And then put all power to the rear legs:

"Good Hunting, target destroyed"

This is why you have to wear your seat belt <>

heftklammer posted:

Attach TIE fighters to both sides of an AT-ST so it can fly

Badfinger posted:

Alternately you could bring down TIE fighters and fuck 'em up royal

I thought a good compromise would be to call the Y-TIEs down here. They did some amazing flying, where they flew between the AT-STs' legs and swooped them up (no, seriously, you would've thought it was physically impossible) At this point, our new AT-ST/TIE Hybrids started destroying EVERYTHING.

With the defenses cleared away, we can approach Bubba's Palace.

lol maximum fierpowr lol

Our troops swarmed into the Palace. They found Bubba, and he did surrender, though I must admit that he wasn't really what I was expecting:

Anyway, I told him that if he gave up his Twilek hotties, no one got hurt. Instead I got this little speech:

I asked him where he sent them.

His response: "To the forest moon of Endor. They wanted to be Amazon princesses among the furry animals there."

It wasn't a total loss though. He did give me a fold out of last year's Miss Ryloth.

Post Valentine's Day Miss Ryloth Hottie Pic:

Image

edit: He said he rigged the contest. Oh well.

Anyway, Ryloth is ours, and we're now a fledgling nation. What should our Empire be called, and what do we do about this Bubba fella, and these missing slaves?

Update 34

Kazy posted:

Melt the ice wasteland so the desert wasteland part will be one gaint beach

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about this part. As soon as we conquered Ryloth, we put our engineers into building an enormous mirror to spread sunshine onto the icy wastlands.

This created a giant beach for which our troops can get some rest and relaxation.

Of course, its not quite perfect without the girls

Update 35

deadpan posted:

The only possible name for this new dictatorship is "Your Empire Sucks".

That makes sense. Everyone, salute our new flag flying over Ryloth:

"Your Empire Sucks"

But you'll have to hold on to your thoughts on Endor guys, we have trouble.

After getting onboard, we were asked to the bridge, pronto. There, all the officers were in a panic. Darth Vader aboard the Executor and a fleet of Star Destroyers had just hyper spaced into the system. Worse, they have two Interdictors with them, meaning that escape is impossible unless they're destroyed.

Here's our own fleet:

VS. this Imperial one:

We are receiving an incoming transmission from Vader himself! Oh God, what do we say to the Dark Lord once he's up in hologram form?