Part 19: Fall 1997, What is a Goon? A Miserable Pile of Perfection!

Chapter 18: Fall 1997, What is a Goon? A Miserable Pile of Perfection!

Just a few months to go, and as I mentioned, there is very little left to take care of. There's actually a difficulty difference between the Saturn version and the PlayStation versions here - in the PlayStation version, bombs will not explode after March 1st, 1998. The Saturn version allows it, which is usually not a problem but can be significant for people who've spread themselves too thin.

9/1-9/6: Concert Band
9/3: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Red
9/3: Bomb warning!

9/5: Megumi's birthday

Once again, it's time to give the most neutral present possible.

Best option: Bunny gloves
Good option: Plush sumo wrestler
Bad option: Sea cucumber

Man, when they came up with bad presents, they really outdid themselves. I don't even know what kind of thought process leads to giving a girl a sea cucumber for her birthday.

Goon: Hey, Mikihara-san!


Megumi: Y, yes? Wh, what is it?
Goon: Today's your birthday, isn't it? I bought you a present.
Megumi: ...... Thank you! May I open it?
Goon: Yeah, go ahead. what do you think?
Megumi: This is cute... I'll treasure it.
Goon: (She seemed happy enough. Not bad, I guess.)

9/6: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
9/7 (Sunday): Call Shiori.

There's one seasonal event left to see for Shiori, and it's at the local park in fall. So...


Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 9/21?
Shiori: Let me check... I'm sorry, I'm busy that day. I wish I could go, but...
Goon: D, don't worry about it. I don't mind.
Shiori: We'll try and make it work next time, okay?

You know what? We're so far ahead at this point that there's no reason to reload here.

9/8-9/13: Sleep
9/13: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Green
9/14: Call Shiori again

Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 9/28?

Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 28th.

9/17: Bump into Miharu again

(thud)

Goon: Ow.
Mysterious Girl: Oh, I'm sorry!
Goon: Wait, didn't you bump into me before too?
Mysterious Girl: Is, is that so? I forgot all about it. Bye...
Goon: It really is her...

Suck it, Miharu, because our encounter with you was so late in the Shiori run, it won't override all of our progress. We'll see the beginnings of the Miharu route, though - and by "Miharu route" I mean "She leaves a bunch of mesasges on the machine because she is a stalker".

9/18: Walk home with Shiori

This is actually kind of a dangerous prospect because of Yumi's bomb, but oh well. Live on the edge!
9/21 (Sunday): Sleep
9/22: Concert Band
9/22: Say no to Megumi
Megumi threat level: Green
9/23 (Holiday): Concert Band
9/24-9/27: Concert Band
9/28: Event with Shiori! Just... not the event I expected


(usual pleasantries)


(thud)
Punk: Yo, you've got some nerve walking into me like that without saying a damn thing. Hope you're ready to get your ass kicked!


Refer to Chapter 9 for more information about the combat system in this game. I forgot about something important here - the first date after the third summer camp, no matter where it is, has a boss fight in it. Why? To show off the Ultimate Techniques, of course!

So now there's a Limit Break/Hidden Technique button. What does it do, you ask?


I don't remember the The Pied Piper of Hamelin leading a bunch of koalas, but... okay. The ludicrous amounts of damage from this attack made the punks retreat pretty much immediately.


Punks: Hmph. Not bad! We'll have to tell the boss about this!
Game: Victory!
Game: Gained 2360 XP
Game: Gained 3600 gold
Game: Found the Mithril Gakuran
Game: Found the T-Shirt of Flame

But wait, there's more!


???: Stop right there!
Goon: Who are you?!


Banchou: I am the boss of this world!
Banchou: It seems like my underlings owe you a bit of a debt...
Banchou: But this farce ends now!
Banchou: Allow me to thank you.
Banchou: Take this!

Translator's note: I use Banchou and Boss a bit interchangeably. A "banchou" is an old-fashioned kind of leader of a gang of delinquents. The student cap and popped collar on a customized gakuran are part of the stereotypical look, most iconically sported by Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Jotaro Kujo. You can also see a few different variations on the theme in the Rival Schools series, which has tons of delinquent archetypes represented.


Banchou: Super Insight!
Banchou: Hmph. Now you realize...
Banchou: This is the fate that awaits all who oppose me.
Banchou: Hahahahahaha!

Well, that was weird. And it gets weirder... well, unless you remember the ending of Final Fantasy IV.


Game: (You hear a voice coming from nowhere...)
Angel's voice: Please, get up! There's still something you have to do!
Angel's voice: Yes, you can do it!


Angel's voice: I will give you new strength!
Angel's voice: Protect her!
Banchou: WHAT?!
Goon: I've seen through your Super Insight!
Goon: Banchou! I can't lose to you!
Banchou: You little brat...
Banchou: You shouldn't get carried away just because you've seen through my Super Insight.
Banchou: I'll show you my true power!
Banchou: Let's begin!


Okay, so it's not QUITE the same background as the Zeromus fight, but I still find it hilarious. Also, we should've brought Yuina. Oh well, next time! Banchou mainly attacks with:


Sleeve Dragon

Deal enough damage, and Banchou will admit that you're not bad, leading to this exchange:

Banchou: By my soul as a man...
Banchou: I can't lose to you!

The boss gains a new attack at this point, too - it doesn't have a name, though.



But even the Last Boss can't stand up against Goon, leading to:


Banchou: Hmph. I am amazed.
Banchou: There is someone in this world who can defeat me...
Goon: Banchou...
Banchou: No.
Banchou: I am no longer worthy of that name.
Banchou: From now on, you are the Banchou.
Former Banchou: Farewell! Take care of that girl!


Game: Victory!
Game: Earned 32767 XP
Game: Earned 65535 gold
Game: Found the Dragon Gakuran
Game: Earned the title "World Banchou"

Perfect. Goon is the smartest, and now is the strongest!

9/29-10/4: Concert Band
9/30: Ayako's birthday

Best option: Home karaoke set
Good option: Edvard Munch's The Scream in puppet form
Bad option: Camo fatigues

At this point it's close enough to the end that it's okay to give Ayako the best option.


Goon: Hey, Katagiri-san!
Ayako: Hmm? Did you want to talk to me?
Goon: Today's your birthday, isn't it? I got you a present.
Ayako: For me? Ureshii, I'm glad... may I open it?
Goon: Of course. Do you like it?
Ayako: Subarashii wa, wonderful! I didn't think I'd get something like this.
Goon: (She looks so happy. I'm glad I got her that gift.)

10/2: Date invitation from Megumi; say no.
Megumi threat level: Yellow
10/3: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
10/4: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
10/5 (Sunday): Call Shiori again

Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 10/10?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 10th.

10/5: Event!


Goon: Hmm? There's a message on the answering machine. I wonder what it is?
Club president: Starting tomorrow, we're getting ready for the culture festival. You need to come help us at the club!
Goon: (I have to help prepare for our club's presentation.)
Goon: (Time to get ready for the culture festival with the rest of the club.)

10/6-10/9: (forced) Concert Band
10/6: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Yellow

10/10 (Holiday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go meet up with her in front of the park.)


(usual pleasantries)
Shiori: It's nice to be able to talk in a place like this.
Shiori: Hey, do you remember?
Goon: Remember what?
Shiori: I just thought of it myself... it should be right over here.
Goon: Hey Shiori, where are you going?
Shiori: There it is!
Goon: What are you talking about?


Shiori: Do you remember this? About ten years ago, we marked how tall we were right here.
Goon: D, did we?
Shiori: We did. You weren't much taller than me back then.
Goon: But now I'm taller than you.


Shiori: Back then, we always played together. When did we stop...?
Goon: What?
Shiori: When did we stop playing together?
Goon: Together, eh... I wonder when...
Shiori: It's not too late now. We can go back to being like that...
Goon: Eh?
Shiori: N, never mind. I didn't mean anything by that.
Shiori: Let's head home.
Goon: Y, yeah.

(usual pleasantries)

10/11: Culture Festival


Goon: Today's the culture festival.
Goon: The Concert Band is going to be playing classical music in the gym. I should hurry up and get ready.


Shiori: We can finally perform classical music.
Goon: Up until now, we had some pretty weird perfomances.
Shiori: I practiced harder than usual for this one.
Goon: Since this is our last performance, let's make it one we don't regret.
Shiori: Yeah. We have to show everyone how hard we worked.
Goon: It'll be our time on stage soon. We should get ready.
Shiori: Let's both do our best.


This year, the performance is the Flight of the Valkyries.


Shiori: It looked like everyone in the audience was happy.
Goon: Good, I'm glad all of our hard work paid off.
Shiori: Our last performance brought things to a wonderful close.
Goon: Yeah, I agree.
Goon: (That's how the culture festival ended.)

10/12 (Sunday): Call Ayako


Goon: Want to go to the museum with me on 10/19?
Ayako: Gimme a second... ii wa yo. Okay.
Goon: Then let's meet in front of the museum on that day.
Ayako: Wakatta wa, oh I see. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Alright, I can't wait for the 19th!

10/13-10/18: Sleep
10/15: Walk home with Shiori
Honestly, I'm really surprised that Yumi's bomb didn't go off here. But hey, let's keep testing the limits!

10/16: Last chance warning for Yumi

Goon: (Man, I am exhausted today. I should hurry home.)
Goon: (Hey, that's Yumi-chan over there.)
Goon: Hey, Yumi-chan!


Yumi: ......
Goon: Huh? She ran off.
Goon: (Maybe she got hurt while I wasn't paying attention...)

10/19 (Sunday): Date with Ayako

Goon: (Today's my date with Katagiri-san. I should go meet up with her in front of the museum.)


(usual pleasantries)


Ayako: Subarashii. I'm a huge fan of this man's paintings.
Goon: Y, yeah? I'm glad we came then.
Ayako: Here, look at this one. Isn't it great? It's just mesmerizing.
Goon: Yeah.
Ayako: It'd be nice if I could paint something this good...
.
.
.
Goon: (She really does like this a lot... she's been looking at it for two hours.)
Ayako: Alright, I've memorized everything. Let's head home.
Goon: What do you mean, memorized?
Ayako: Before I forget, I need to head home and paint.
Goon: ......


(usual pleasantries)

10/20-10/25: Concert Band
10/22: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
10/23: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green

Saying yes to either of these is liable to make Yumi's bomb explode.

10/26 (Sunday): Call Yumi

Goon: Want to go to the stadium with me on 11/2?
Yumi: Yeah, that's fine.
Goon: Then let's meet in front of the stadium on that day.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)
Goon: Alright, I can't wait for the 2nd!

10/27-11/1: Concert Band
10/30: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
11/1: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
11/2: Read Memorial Spot, then date with Yumi


Memorial Spot December-January-February
This magazine will be going on hiatus after this issue.
Movie: Voyage of Love and Youth (romance) (Did you know that the Japanese name for An Officer and a Gentleman is "The Voyage of Love and Youth"? I didn't either!)
Concert: Rinse (rock) (Shampoo)[/i]
Stadium: December - Nothing
January - Pro Wrestling
February - Nothing
Event: The sensory experience ride, Virtual Ship, has been finished at the amusement park!

Translator's note: the Virtual Ship is basically Star Tours.

Goon: (This is the last issue of this magazine...)

Goon: (Today's my date with Yumi. I should go meet up with her in front of the stadium.)


(usual pleasantries)
Yumi: Pro Wrestling! Woo! Woo!


Yumi: Wow, they're really going at it.
Goon: Yumi-chan, you really do love wrestling, don't you?
Yumi: Yeah, Yumi reeeeeeeally loves it! Yumi and Onii-chan watch it together a lot.
Goon: Yoshio watches too? I didn't know...
Yumi: Oh, the main event is starting! Yumi really wanted to see this match.
Goon: Oh yeah? Then I'm glad we came.


Yumi: Right there! Go get 'im!
Goon: Um...
Yumi: There it is! The DDT!
Goon: Um, Yumi-chan? The people in the seats in front of us can see your underwear...
Yumi: And the pin! But a quick reversal!
Goon: (It's pointless, she's not listening at all. I just have to leave her alone...)


Goon: (Did she finally realize it?)
Yumi: Hey, did you see that move just now?
Goon: Hmm? Yeah, what about it?
Yumi: The other day, Yumi tried that move on Onii-chan, and he couldn't move for a while.
Goon: Is, is that so...
Goon: (That Yoshio was brought up in a pretty rough family...)
Yumi: And on top of that, Yumi has been trying out new techniques on Onii-chan too. When it's finished, Yumi will show you!
Goon: Th, thanks...
Goon: (I feel so sorry for Yoshio.)
Yumi: Wow, awesome! He pulled off a power bomb!
Goon: (She's going nuts again, there's no way I can talk to her)


(usual pleasantries)

11/3 (holiday): Preen
11/4-11/8: Concert Band
11/8: Invited out by Megumi

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Um... can... I ask you something?
Goon: Mikihara-san, what's up?
Megumi: Are... are you free this Sunday?

With Yumi out of the way for a few months, Megumi is the biggest threat left in the game. This is a perfect opportunity.

Goon: Option 1: I'm free, what's up?
Megumi: Um... I have some tickets to the amusement park... Did you want to go together?
Goon: Option 1: That's fine, let's go.
Megumi: I'm so glad... I thought you'd say no.
Goon: Should we meet in front of the amusement park?
Megumi: Y, yes... That's great. See you later...
Goon: (This Sunday? I have to make sure I don't forget.)

The good thing is, that's tomorrow.

11/9 (Sunday): Date with Megumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Mikihara-san. I should go meet up with her in front of the amusement park.)


(usual pleasantries)

Megumi: Um... where should we head?
Goon: Option 2: Let's go to the haunted house


Megumi: I like this place... it's really exciting.


Megumi: Um... that was fun, wasn't it?

Option 1: Yeah. It was fun.
Option 2: You really like scary stuff, don't you?
Option 3: It's just for kids.

Option 2 seems like a good-but-not-too-good choice here. But honestly, it doesn't matter much anymore - she shouldn't be able to overtake Shiori anymore.

Megumi: Yes, as long as it's like this...
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Megumi: Um, thank you for today.
Goon: Next time, can I invite you somewhere?
Megumi: Y, yes, that's fine.
Goon: Then I'll call you soon.

This part of the conversation changed because Megumi invited us out; the rest of the usual "let's go home" pleasantries is the same as always.

11/10-11/15:
11/16 (Sunday): Sleep
11/17-11/22: Concert Band
11/21: Invited out by Ayako; say no
Ayako threat level: Yellow
11/23 (Sunday): Preen
11/24 (Holiday): Concert Band
11/25-11/29: Sleep
11/28: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green
11/30 (Sunday): Exercise

It's a very uneventful November, and that suits us just fine. We want things to be as unexciting as possible through February. Coming up: the road to Utter Perfection ends.