Introduction

...I swear, it's the same face as this.




Too Human is a game planned, produced, and designed by a collective of fuckwits, and published by Microsoft.

PLANNING: Announced in 1999, Too Human started as a long and epic Action/RPG for the PS1, with Silicon Knights riding high on the previous success of Blood Omen: Legacy Of Kain. Then, SK signed up with Nintendo to make some games for the GameCube, and took Too Human with it. In 2005 it turned out that Too Human was coming for the Xbox 360 as a trilogy of epic Action/RPGs on the Unreal Engine. Only one of them was ever released, in 2008, because...

PRODUCTION: SK sued Epic Games for bad tech support. Epic counter-sued and won because in their spare time the folks at SK were taking Unreal Engine sources, scrubbing out Epic copyright notices, and using the code as their own. In 2013 Epic won so hard, Silicon Knights was ordered to recall and destroy all unsold copies of all its UE games, incuding Too Human. It wasn't a big loss, because...

DESIGN: Too Human is a flaming pile of garbage people only bought for the hype and (after all the reviews rolled out) the "gamerscore."

Technically no one is allowed to sell Too Human, but in the summer of 2019 perverse wizards at Microsoft made the game compatible with (and "enhanced" by) Xbox One, and put it up online for free. They're not selling it, they are giving it away! It's still way overpriced, though, as we shall see together.

Let's play this shit: