Part 29: Tenebrous - Everything's Illegal In Tenebrous

29. Tenebrous - Everything's Illegal In Tenebrous


Um, excuse me, I'm looking for someone, and nobody's been able to help me. I was just wondering, um...
Shhh, I'm recording!
Oh, I'm sorry *in whisper* Is this better?
No, not really. Ugh, let me hit pause here. There. Now, what was it you were saying?
*in whisper* I'm torin, and I'm seeking---
No use to whisper now, young man.
Oh! Well, anyway, I'm Torin and I'm trying to locate an evil sorceress named Lycentia.
Lycentia, eh? Oh sure, I know her.
YOU DO!? Oh, I've asked darn near everybody on this planet and you're the only one.
I'm probably one of the few who does know her. My hobby is recording rare voices, and hers is one of the rarest.
Then you know where I could find her?
Oh, you wouldn't want to. When I met her, I found her quite rude.
RUDE!? She's more than rude. She's unscrupulous, ruthless, unconscionable, immoral, unethical, unprincipled, she's--
Whoa, calm down. It doesn't matter. You can't get to her anyways.
Whaddaya mean cant get to her? You don't know how far I've come already! Why, I've survived capture in the jungle, vicious vultures, stinking skunks, lava, snails, slugs, you name it! Of course, I'll get to her.
Very impressive, mmhmm. What is that accent? You see, young man, Lycentia was expelled from our world many years ago. Tossed into the Null Void she was, and never to be heard from again.
The Null Void? I've got to go after her!
That will be a problem. The void is so dangerous all the entrances to it were sealed long ago.
You said you record voices... have you recorded hers?
Why yes. I have. It's one of my rarest treasures.
I'd love to have it.
Oh no, to someone like me, there's nothing more valuable than a rare voice.
Oh really? What if you had a voice rarer than Lycentia's?

Torin, Lycentia's from The Lands Above AND she's a sorceress. You're just a farm boy. You really think your voice is more valuable? Well, if you've picked up on the not-so-subtle hints from the Interlude posts, then I suppose his voice is more valuable.

What? What, I don't think that's possible.
Oh yeah? Do you have any recordings from The Lands Above?
Of course not. The last time those savages visited us, this audcryst technology was not even developed.
I am one of those savages.
What? You? Is it possible? That accent... it's subtle, but... I thought I detected something peculiar about your voice.
Whaddaya say you trade Lycentia for a recording of a voice you may never hear again?
Well, uh, hmm, a deal.
Okay, what do you want me to say?


Anything! Let me set up a clean crystal here. There, ready when you are.
Test! Test! Is this on? *tap tap tap* Hello? My is Torin from the Farhman Valley, near Crystal City in The Lands Above. I've travelled through Escarpa, um, Pergola, and Asthenia to get to Tenebrous for only one reason, to find the evil sorceress Lycentia, force her to free my parents and my friend Boogle and in the process, teach her a lesson
That's enough, it's only a ten meg crystal!

Ha, "ten meg crystal."


Great... now let me find that audcryst with her voice. And here, I'll even throw in this old cryst-corder so you can even play it back.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome, and good like finding Lycentia. Now if you'll pardon me, I have work to do.




If we set the Crystcorder on the holographic projector, it displays the above screen. We can combine the Audcryst with it to hear what's on it:



If it's in the bottom slot, it's on mute. By moving it to the top slot, it starts playback.


You're not welcome here, you decrepit old creep!

Wow, yup. Lycentia sure sounds like a bundle of fun.

Anyway, we can't bother the audcrystophile anymore. As a note, this gentleman's name is listed as R. Chivist. It's never spoken aloud but is in the game's audio transcripts and design documents. Just another hidden pun for those who crave them.

Continuing left, we'll come across Zippy The Magnificent, the blind magician the stage director mentioned to use last update. But first we'll grab those bagpipes we saw sitting on the shelf next to R. Chivist.




Excuse me, are you a magician?


Who? Where? Oh, me! Yes, actually, I am a magician. Well, no, I'm not just any magician. As of yesterday morning I'm Zippy the Magnificent. And you who are you?
I'm Torin, from The Lands Above.
Well, Torin, would you like to see a trick?
Well, actually, I was going to ask you some questions.


Splendid. Alright, here, take this deck of cards. Cut it anywhere. Memorize the card--Got it? Good! Now hold the deck tightly between your two hands. Tighter! Don't let go. Remember your card?


Yes!
Now, if i could make your card appear from my sleeve, in spite of the fact that you're still holding that self same card in your very own hands, would you be impressed?
Yeah, I guess...
Now, all I have to do is say the magic words: Ali MacGraw! And presto. Here's your card.

Ali MacGraw?



That's not my card. That's a bouquet of flowers.
Oops! Ahem, I knew that. Here. Watch me make that disappear. Alright! Now let's see, where was I? Oh yes, now if I could make your card appear from my sleeve in spite of the fact that you're holding hands with the same card, would you be impressed?
Yeah, I guess...
And, here it is! Right... here!


No, that's not my card either.
Well... what did you have? A heart?
No. That's not even a card, that's a bird.
Oh... so it is... get out of here! Oh, do I need a better act. Okay! Is this your card?


No... that's a book.
Well I don't know where your card is! Maybe it's still there in your hands.
You know, at this point, I don't really care.
Alright then, give me back your cards. You can keep your lousy two of diamonds.
H-hey, that's right! That was my card!
Well it's too late now to sweet talk me. If only I had one good trick.
You wanna try that card trick again?
No, I've had it with that trick. I'm just going to stand here until I come up with something spectacular. Or something great. Well, at least something not bad.

Continuing to the left, we finally close the circle of the amphitheatre and find ourselves back at the entrance. There are some tumblers practicing out front now too. There's some rosin on the ground, but can't take it while the tumbler's are still there.



Hey Bags, take a look at this.
Say! Nice... whoooo, is that real silk?
I think so. It feels real to me.
You mind if I twy it on?
No, not at all.



Oh, oh, I love it, I love, oh it's me, oh it's definitely me. Ooo, oo, oooo! Whaddaya think?
Huh? Oh, oh yes, it's you! It's very you!
Oooo, ooo, look look, it's got a secret compartment too! Wooo!
It seems complete.
Room in there for a pool, oo! Practice my breast stroke. I'll take it, I'll take it.
Now wait a minute, we don't know if Zippy the Magnificent will accept you or not.
Accept me? Are you kidding me? He's been wanting me to join him for years, but you shoulda seen the dump he offered me. He never had things like these. Oh yeah, he'll take me alright. He'd be a fool not to. See, I, I, I, know the biz. Just wait, oh, wait'll I tell him...

Before we return to Zippy, if we check to our left we'll find that the carpenter has ceased his sawing. However, we can't take the saw while he's still around.



You'll never guess what I got for you Zippy
You're right, put it down so I can feel it (he's blind.)
It's a real top hat! With a rabbit inside. You know, like in a real magic trick.
Let me see.. yes, but who's this?
It's me, Zippy! Bags! Bags Bunny, you remember me, dontcha?
Yes, I though you said you'd never work for me.
Well that was before you offered me this fine silk top hat to live in. Man, with a hat like this, even you should be able to do magic.
Hey, are you going to start this relationship off on a sour note?
Aw, Zippy, don't worry I'll do the twicks.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for magicians.

Trix cereal reference confirmed

Awww... grab your wand and let's practice.
Uh, that is a problem. I seem to have lost my wand.
Aw, no problem. Ask this Torin guy here to find it. What did it look like? Oops, sorry...
Now are you ready to do your trick Zippy?
What do you think, Bags, can you do it without a wand?
I can. Can you?
Well, probably not. I could really use a magic wand, Torin.
Where am I going to find a magic wand around here?
I don't know. Perhaps you could make one?

NOW if we return to where the carpenter is, we'll find that he's gone on break. So, steal his saw, Torin! Also, if we rub the bow on the saw it sounds horrible.



Eeeugh. This bow could use something to keep it from slipping.

Anyways, use the saw on the cane in order to make a "magic" wand:



Here you go, Zippy! I found your wand.
Oh thank you, Torin. Say, this isn't my wand. What are you trying to pull here?
N, nothing! I thought you needed a wand!

Yeah! You said we could make one!

I do! But remember, I'm blind, not stupid!
Ah, what's the difference? Are you a magician or aren't ya?
You're right, thank you, Torin. This will do just fine.
So what are you waiting for? Pull the fancy colour silk over me and let's get rolling!
Uh, well now, that's another problem.
What now?
I, uh, don't have a silk.
A magician without a silk kerchief? Torin!!!
Heh heh, yes, Torin?

This is getting a bit silly, but this next step isn't too tedious if you know what you're doing. Conveniently, there is a poster with a picture of a silk scarf behind Zippy. Grab that and combine it with our silkworms to make a silk scarf replica.




I made this silk as a gift for you Zippy.
Why thank you, it feels lovely. So smooth. I just don't know what I'll do with it. Stuff it in my breast pocket? I don't know.
I was thinking you might use it to cover the rabbit inside of your top hat?
That's good too...
So, what are we waiting for? Show us a trick!
Yeah, Zippy, it's show time! Pull that fancy silk over me.
Alright, I will. Thanks to you, Torin. You know, you've been so nice to me. Would you like this book of magic spells? It should get you past any sorcerers you find in these parts. Besides, I don't read that much anymore.
Thanks, Zippy. And good luck with your act.




If we hang around, we'll get a minor easter egg where Zippy will pull Dreep from his hat:



And if we move out of view of the tumblers and return, they will now have disappeared, meaning we can grab the rosin:




Rub that on the bow and...


Mr. Torin. One minute, Mr. Torin. Mr. Torin? On stage in one minute, Mr. Torin.

Uh oh. This can't be good.

Now we can make music with the saw. Welp, here goes nothing. Let's head on stage--



And now, a medley of my favourite songs from The Lands Above! heh heh, uh...


Where the peat moss blooms in the light of three full moons, and the, ahem, Crystal Mountains sing in my heart home.
Yeah, as The Lands Above are the place I'll always love. No matter through how many worlds I roam. Ahem...


That's it, that's it, now come with me.
But officer, why, you have tears in your eyes. Are you from The Lands Above too?
No, I'm a musician. Now come with me, you're under arrest!
What for?
Impersonating a singer.



Torin of The Lands Above, since you violated the probationary period I granted you, I have no choice but to sentence you to immediate ostricization from the world of Tenebrous. Into the Null Void with him!
Not the Null Void! (Exactly where I want to go)!

Welp. Looks like everything is illegal in Tenebrous.