Part 25: - Under the Knife³

Speaking of horrible Professors, the Prof who taught my first-year Biology class back in the day walked into my bakery yesterday. I don't like to insult people but he was a truly a terrible teacher, who made 6-choice-per-question MC exams with no written section for all quizzes, midterms and finals. He was also the kind of guy who would blame the class for their stupidity when the averages were in the 40%s. After staring at a cake for five minutes and generally wasting my time, he then proceeded to treat me like shit because I was a lowly baker running a department alone 9 hours a day at minimum wage during the night to pay for school, and he makes six figures a year.

Then he left without buying anything. One day I'll be a neurosurgeon, and by then he will be senile.

Today my boyfriend went down for PAX without me and I have to look after the house, so I'm going to drink all the sake we'd been saving and play more Trauma Center. Didn't mean to go all e/n there, but the point is I'm all fired up and raring to go now, and I'm going to need it for this update:

25 - Under the Knife³

(Music: On the Cutting Edge of Medicine.)







"I'd like to say a few words. The late Richard Anderson was a truly extraordinary man. Though he was a politician, his true passion was the medical field. Which, of course, lead to the forming of Caduceus."

After that depressing ending to Chapter 4, we're treated to something significantly more upbeat that wasn't included in Second Opinion. Hoffman's default portrait changes for the rest of the game. He is no longer the stern old man we met in Chapter 1, but a confident mentor of the Caduceus staff. Instead of an expressionless stare, he wears a warm smile and carries himself with a hands-in-pockets swagger.

"Secretary Anderson was a man of Incredible vision."

"Yes, and without his organization, the world would be powerless against medical terrorism. We would all be cowering in fear of GUILT. I plan to continue his work, and fight back against that menace!"

It's a shame they didn't redraw this portrait for the remake (and the sequel, for that matter), because it really lightens the tone. But as HelloWinter pointed out, they didn't, thankfully, forget to include this greatness in his Etrian Odyssey cameo:

From the Etrian Odyssey LP by 100percentjesusfree:

Seriously, just look at that motherfucker. _{Derek and Angie are in that series too but at this point who even cares about them}

"..."

"That is the mission of Caduceus...and it will not change. I hope that I have your support in striving toward a new future."

"So, Caduceus will continue in honor of Secretary Anderson."

"I finished compiling all the GUILT treatment data, but..."

"Delphi's actions seem to be more and more deliberate. And, we don't know how far they're willing to go. We'll need to construct full-scale countermeasure scenarios-"

(Silence)



"We've received a number of reports indicating possible GUILT victims! There is a risk of an outbreak. Emergency teams must respond!"

"Well, well... Speak of the devil!"

(NEW Music: Under the Knife)



Speaking of confidence: a damn good song starts up.

"Yes, sir!"



"I want three teams! Start treating the most advanced symptoms first!"

"Dr. Clarks, find out which hospitals the GUILT victims have been sent to. Cooperate with those doctors and instruct them on proper treatment."

"Understood!"

"Dr. Stiles, Dr. Chase-- get ready to operate! Dr. Myers, please assign teams to handle anesthesia!"

"Yes sir!"

"Here we go..."

"Understood, Chief."



"Doctor Hoffman!"

"My medical license has been an ornament for too long... It's time I made good on the Hippocratic Oath!"

"If you can operate, we'd welcome your support. As far as treating GUILT-"

"I memorized the surgery footage. ...I know what to do."

"Then, good luck, sir."

"My surgical skills haven't rusted over yet!"

In the sequel, Hoffman is voiced by Michael McConnohie, by the way.





"Well done, Dr. Hoffman!"

"There's no way...! How could the old man move so fast?!"

"Amazing..! That must be what it's like to watch the Healing Touch. ...Is that how I look, too?!"



"Okay! I'll be right there."

Here it comes...



.."THAT" FUCKING LEVEL. For 50% _{[citation needed]} of players, welcome to the bitter end of your playthrough.

"Everyone get ready- it's going to be a long day..."



(You'd BETTER Watch this Operation: Mission 5-2, S Rank.)

(Music: Gangliated Utrophin Immuno-Latency Toxin (GUILT))



"Which means you have 5 patients in that amount of time. This will be tough, Doctor... but we have no choice!"

You have less than two minutes per patient, and you must finish with time left on the clock...



...To get the S-Rank, anyway. About passing it with a bare-minimum C, well, it's a surprise because you don't realize you've done it until you think you've failed.



This mission is living hell to S Rank. Combine bad programming from the deep lacerations with unresponsive sutures, and you have an extremely unfun level. There are 20 deep lacerations, and fifteen long cuts. You can't miss once. If you're even a second late putting the bandage on at the end, sucks to be you. Anything goes wrong, you must reset. Finally, if you're planning to S Rank it on anything other than a brand new Nintendo DS... God help you.



I hope you understand the depths of the suffering I go through for you all. (Also, really, Atlus? Was that necessary?)



The good thing about this mission is that you can choose to not disinfect anything, or get some Bads, and it won't matter, you'll still get a high enough score for the S Rank. So while in the video I give most of my patients horrible infections, at least I get my goddamn Master Surgeon Title. The others I showed mercy purely out of habit.



Here is the only indication you get that you won't fail if you run out of time. Run out of time past here, the backup arrives and the operation is complete. So really, you only need to finish two, and start on the third one.



What? Were you resetting before time ran out and trying again? That's because Atlus gets off on the pain of its fanbase.



As for finishing all five patients without the S Rank, it's actually pretty easy if you don't waste time buffering vitals and pace yourself. I can do each patient in 1 minute 10 seconds on average.



'Bout time I was shown some appreciation around here. How things have changed, Angie.





"This won't mean as much now, but... I knew you could do it!"

"...Dr. Stiles.... You were really amazing!"

..Okay, Angie is starting to thaw my little black heart. Just a little.



In the video, I S Rank the mission with style. With some patients being done in 50 seconds each, I think that's pretty close to the best humanly possible score. It would have been fifteen or so seconds less if some of the sutures had responded.



"I know it's tough, Derek, but prepare for the next patient."

"Understood!"

Next Time: We revisit a couple of old friends. In more ways than one.