Part 32: Cleopatra Jones and the Unfunny Chorus Comedians

Cleopatra Jones and the Unfunny Chorus Comedians

Last time on Tyranny, we had a chat with Eb about her questionable world view. Today we are going to make our way into the DLC goons voted to explore.



To recap, we got a message from a Sage Lexeme asking us to check out her work, then she disappeared and we were directed to this hidden manor.



We proceed farther into the manor, and encounter some more tedious bullshit.



: [Remain silent.]

: Apologies, stranger! He puts a hand to his brow, as if shading his sight. I can't make you out from this distance, and I hardly know the voice of every child in the Tiers!

Typical criticism of dull action description.

: The gentle bubble of laughter filters down from above.

: Child?! For fuck's sake, Rholes, let us in already!



: [Remain silent.]

: Yes, boss, it is I - Warbler, and our faithful crew. We've returned from a successful raid, catch in hand.



Is this supposed to be comedic? I get it, the Scarlet Chorus is a dysfunctional collection of backstabbing fuckups. We've been dealing with them all game.



: [Remain silent.]

: Awww, Warbler, we were having such good fun with you. Why did you have to make things so serious. There are few things we never joke about in this gang - like sharing.

: Are you shitting me?



Self-destructive factionalism is going to be a theme through this DLC.

: [Keep listening to the argument.]

: Everyone down here thinks this is really funny boss but... we'd really like to sit by the fire and have a decent meal.



Time to eliminate your raiding crew to solve a problem you created with your lack of leadership!

: [Keep listening to the argument.]

: What?! Don't put words in my mouth you shallow sack of cock cheese!

: I can talk to you however I desire. And if you can't take it, you aren't tough enough to run with our gang. In fact, I think we're overdue for a display of your worth.



: [Keep listening to the argument.]

Maybe one of these idiots will say something useful.

: I don't recall ordering a raid. No doubt you've been recruiting your own gang and are here to defy me. Well your mutiny ends here.

: Mutiny? I've been loyal, my crew's been loyal! How dare you?

: Then who are your reinforcements? Rhodes points a finger at you. Or did you let the enemy shadow you back home? Either way, wrong move.

: Huh? He looks back at you, eyes widening. Who the-? Where did you come from?"



: I was busy watching you mismanage your gang. Please, continue.

: Ha. This must be that legendary Fatebinder sense of humor.

: Look, I'm more than happy to help you with whatever task the Archon's got you doing, but first I need your help dealing with the idiots down there. He points from the balcony at Warbler and his gang. A legend like you won't even break a sweat culling them.

Of course we get called in to solve the problems of the inept. Why would this be any different?

: Are you fucking kidding me? I've broken no law, just done what my boss told me!



: [Leave] Work this out among yourselves.

: If you're not going to help, at least stay out of our way. Run along, Fatebinder.


We need to find another way in. If we go right from the truly riveting clown show, we run into a band of people chilling out in hobo tents.





I don't understand why the devs elected to dump an entire text box on us when they knew the modeling department would display this woman.



: Cleopatra Jones, Fatebinder of Tunon. And you are?



Just how stupid do you think the player is?

: You still haven't told me who you are.

: She blinks rapidly. Right. I haven't. The name's Gwyneth. I'm the guide for this little band.



: What do you want, exactly?



: You live in a cave?

: Well, it wasn't our first choice of homes but... we've taken shelter in a nearby cave. While we were out looking for supplies, these Chorus goons somehow buried the cave entrance with rubble. We could excavalate a path, but not with Chorus spears prodding our rears while we dig.



Butchering Chorus idiots is absolutely something we can do.

: [Leave.] I'll see what I can do.

: Thank you. Let us know when the gang is no longer a threat.


It's amusing because while Gwyneth has a Very Sad Tale of how she can't get work as a mercenary, in almost every other context this would be a good thing as there's less war, but we know that Ashe and Nerat are fighting and she wouldn't get paid.



We can climb the rope to confront Rholes the Butcher and his band of morons.





: [Attack Rholes.] Enough talking.



Is this guy secretly Beavis in disguise?

Anyway, this starts a fight with Rholes and his crew, which is actually super dangerous for our all-mage party as no one can take a hi -



Ahahaha, no, they all get piles of status effects dumped on them and they die.



Sirin takes a wound (debuff until resting) because they hit her kind of hard but we are in no actual danger.



The ending is inevitable. We find a Disfavored prisoner bound in the Chorus camp.



To cut out a lot of unimportant dialogue, we can free him but he refuses until we deal with Warbler and company.



Foreshadowing!



: Take your gang elsewhere. Now.

: Thanks, Fatebinder. For... handling the whole. Rholes thing. He and his crew shoulder their gear and begin their march.




: They're gone. How do you plan on getting into this cave of yours?

: There was always the chance we'd get stuck out here, that the mountains would move again, or Kyros-forbid, Cairn would come back to finish what he started.




: Give me the Ocean Fire. I'll see to the cave entrance.

It's a Greek Fire analogue I'm pretty sure. Now, I don't remember it actually exploding as much as being a napalm-like weapon sprayed from ships, and they probably could have cleared out the Chorus by blowing them up, but...

: Her sigh reveals profound relief, and she accompanies it with a nod. Thank you. Be extraordinarily careful with it. You don't want to be within twenty paces when the paste meets the air. Hunker down behind some rubble up top, then lob it at the cave entrance.



: Oh. And uh, don't miss.


We can now go free Disfavored guy.



Free the man, and he tells us that he was sent to scout the area because Disfavored patrols went missing, he got ambushed by Rholes, and that Rholes was terrified of the Hobo Cave.



Next time: Factionalism in a Hobo Cave!