Part 11: The Update Where Brink Dies!

Update 9: The Update Where Brink Dies!



"This is Major Perseus Custard, February first. Pre-mission Briefing.

I have been given my own command within the CoE and my first mission! This is a great chance to prove my worth to humanity in this time of darkness. I have already been given a squad of seven soldiers and access to the armory. I am very eager to see what they can do, though I am a little concerned about the rumors I have heard around Denver base. There is nothing substantiated but I hear whispers that the solders I have been given were rejects that tried to apply to Phoenix Squad. Furthering my ill feeling we have been dubbed 'Lemming Squad' and our first mission is to Volstock in the south pole. Again, something previously rejected as not worth Phoenix Squad's time. Never the matter though! I am confident that I can turn this squad into a beacon of success and rival the effectiveness of any of the other squads.

My squad is currently hitting the armory for their weapons and gear and then will be in the helicopter in no time. The one small regret I have is that all the best combat armor has already been assigned to the older squads, and we're left with the basic light armor. I've heard that an alien plasma gun killed a Phoenix member in full combat armor, so I'm hoping my men only have to deal with transgenats.

I'm pretty nervous right now... That probably won't go away until they get back to base, but I look forward to meeting them on the heliport and going over the debriefing with them."




Brink: Alright plebes, you have a few minutes to stretch and get ready after that helicopter ride. Really, a helicopter all the way to the south pole? Why not just ask us to swim our way.
: What's the objective here again?
Dr. Dobbs: It's a simple clear and sweep. Kill everything in the area so we can try to get a foothold down here.
Punkero: Clear and sweep? Awww, is that going to involve a lot of running around?
Guru: And why does the CoE want a foothold down here anyway? It's fucking cold.
Borstj: Yeah... And the cold is murder on my hair... I wish I was back at home in my parents basement.
Lurky: Hate to interrupt the whining, but I see aliens!



Lurky: Chaaaarrrrrge!!
: Whoa, look at her go.



Punkero: She just chainsawed that thing!
Lurky: Take that fucker! Okay, melee check, now for the high explosives!



Dr. Dobbs: Uh... I don't think going into melee combat with a brick of C4 as her weapon was a good idea...
Guru: Oh god she's dead!
: Forget her, fucking newb didn't even know what she was doing. Let's keep going.



Dr. Dobbs: There's another one of them!
Brink: Okay men, and I can say that now that the only woman is dead, stand your ground. Ready your weapons, take aim... and fire!



Punkero: There's more of them!
Borstj: There's always more of them, its so unfair. Conformists.



Punkero: Holy crap, we got one!
: Owned, totally owned.
Guru: Hey, I think something is wrong with my gun. It's shooting smoke grenades



Brink: Did you pick your gun at random or were you trying to be so foolish when we were in the armory. Really now, picking the right weapon is a very important process of a soldier.
Borstj: Uh whatever... I'll deal with that flying one myself.



Borstj: I'll cut you like I cut my wrists!
Dr. Dobbs: Your going to scar him to get attention?



Dr. Dobbs: Wow, you actually killed him.
Borstj: I told you, but no one understands. I'm going to get that other one now.




Borstj: Take this, slime thrower- hey!
: Booya! Kill steal with the laser!



Brink: Punkero and Guru, come with me. We will let them go right around this glacier while we circle left to trap the transgenats in a pincer maneuver.
Punkero: That sounds like a lot of work.
Guro: Oh god even more of them!



Punkero: Oh god I'm hit! It hurts so bad! Why did it do that to me!? Whyyyy...
Brink: Do stop with the crying like that! You'll be fine when we get back to base and get you a life cry- er a med kit.
Guru: Fuck this! C4 going out!



Guru: They got me some, but I blew them to hell!



Borstj: I got another one and... eh.. I- I can't move!



Borstj: It's trying to eat me! Oh come on. I'm a vegan, I don't believe that animals should eat other animals. So would you please stop tha-AAAAHHHUUUURRGGGGKKKK...
Dr. Dobbs: Holy crap, it just ate Borstj!
: Maybe now he'll stop complaining all the time.



Guru: Hey guys? I think something is wrong with this plecton... It doesn't seem dead...



: Mother fucker! The corpse just exploded! It's necromancy!



Brink: Punkero, look out!
Punkero: Huh- Huurrggguuurruurrkk...
Brink: Are you alright?
Punkero: We are fine Brink, wark!
Brink: Did you just say, wark?
Punkero: No... We did not... We said, uh, we're happy to be here, on earth, in this nice snowy environment and-
Brink: You're being controlled by the aliens!



Brink: You won't get the chance to backstab me now!



Brink: Oh god my brains are on fire!
: I'll save you Brink! Take this you alien cock sucker



: Oh god, my brains! Huuurrrrguurrggiiick...



Dr. Dobbs: Whats going on over there?!



Dr. Dobbs: I killed the Chrysalis... Oh god are they all dead?



Dr. Dobbs: Oh thank god, WTF, you're alive.
: Yes. Yes we are.
Dr. Dobbs: Wait, are you referring to yourself as we?
: We have always been many.
Dr. Doobs: Dude, you're creeping me out.
: Do not worry. We will end it all soon.



Dr. Dobbs: What are you talking about?! Why are you pointing your gun at me?
: Do not resist us. You have no hope of survival on this planet.
Dr. Dobbs: Oh god!




Dr. Dobbs: Oh god... What have I done? What happened here? Oh god oh go oh god.... get a hold of yourself Dobbs. Just signal the 'copter and get the hell out of here. But what will I tell them? I shot WTF in the face! He was an alien, or under their power... oh god what is going on?




"Major Perseus Custard, February second. Mission summery.

How could this have happened? Everyone is dead... It's terrible.

I received the mission recordings from the communications link with the helicopter a few hours ago. The mission was a complete disaster. Half of them weren't ready, weren't even trained like real solders. The other half were controlled by the aliens or something... We're still not even sure.

Even Dr. Dobbs didn't make it back to the base. Shortly after he transmitted all of the recordings the helicopter disappeared from radar. I just received word from Snake Squad that they found the crash site of a Chinook helicopter in what used to be Peru. There were no survivors. From the field report it looks like Dr. Dobbs' transmission was detected by the Cult of Sirius and they were able to shoot down the helicopter.

I... I don't even know what to do now. I can't lead another squad after that. Maybe I'll just retire right now, live among the other survivors in the camps around base. I don't know. I'm going to go see Haggis and get the strongest booze he can brew and drown myself until tomorrow. Then I'll see if there is anything left in me to salvage.

God help us all. Major Perseus Custard, signing off."





--Soldiers Logs--


Posted by Garfield - Der Film 'Golden'

January Whateverthefuck

So everyone is talking about their logs and I decided to start my own but i'm going to do mine a little differently. I am awesome. Vallhallan is not. Vallhallan could not hit a giant monster in front of his face with the RPG. He is a failure. I am still awesome and killed shit from really far away. I also saved the day and all the ladies want me. I also hear that us Vet's are getting some time off. All I can say is it's about freakin' time. TIME TO PARTAY!

-King Awesome Golden



Posted by Rear Admiral BOOYA 'Booya'

*** LOG ENTRY CONSIDERED HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL, PLEASE DESTROY AFTER READING. COLONY SHIP FOR SALE, CHEAP, INQUIRE WITHIN. ***

Journal of Malcom McLean, ( "BOOYA") dated xx/04/2085.

I awoke this morning in a cold sweat after another dream. Ever since we were in the vicinity of those big flying jelly-slugs with the chewy nougat center, the night terrors have been getting worse. I think I remember the entire squad hooting like gibbons, decorated with fake mustaches and abominable haircuts, rushing headlong into the fight with nothing but their bare hands and primitive stone tools. Much else, I don't remember, except for this remaining need to beat my head against a wall.

It's probably nothing.

**** REMOTE ACCESS TERMINATED ****