Part 57: Alternate Ending #1 - Armageddon Hard With A Vengeance

Alternate Ending #1 - Armageddon Hard With A Vengeance



"That Codex sure is a dick."
"To be true. To maybe be thinking we should throw these lenses in the ocean."
"Sounds like a plan. Screw you, Codex."



"To be truly happy that peace has come at last."
"Yes. Who would have thought that talking to each other and negotiating in some fashion could resolve our seemingly irreconcilable differences?"



"Well, I hate to admit it, Steve, but you've finally done it this time. And I don't mean that in the flustered 'you've really done it this time!' sense."
"It's true, I am pretty awesome. And all without killing anyone!"
"What are you talking about? We killed tons of people to reach this point."
"Yeah sure, but nobody I care about died. And hey, I didn't instantly get sucked back to Earth this time!"
"I suppose this does call for some manner of celebration."
"Mind if I join in the reverie?"



"To be saying what."
"God, does everyone have an Orb of the Moons?"
"Wait, is that..."
"It was real?"
"My goodness, Shamino, such little faith you Warriors of Destiny show."
"Death Cannon! I knew I should never have left you to my own devices!"
"Did you honestly believe I would stop with Skara Brae? And now, for some reason or other, I'm going to shoot the Avatar... once and for all!"



"To be saying nooooooooooooo in slow motion!"
*BOOM*



"Oh my God, Beh Lem! Nooooo! He was too young as far as I'm aware, and may have had so much to live for!"
"To note our world is a crumbling hellhole."
"Well, isn't that a pretty pickle. But I guess that's the way the gargoyle crumbles! And now..."



"I know, Death Cannon. It's me you want. If this will stop the madne-"
"My goodness, did you think I wanted you?"
"You just said you did."



"Well now I don't want to do that. I plan to assassinate Lord British, thus ending the peace between gargoyles and humans somehow. This is an idea I just came up with, isn't it delightful?"
"That doesn't even make sense."
"You can't do this, Death Cannon."



"To be right. This cannot be allowed!"
*BOOM*



"...what I was just about to say is, you can't do that, Death Cannon, because Lord British is invincible. Though Lord Draxinusom, apparently, isn't."
"Should we maybe be concerned that both gargoyles who came to this peace meeting are dead now?"
"Eh, we can probably get another gargoyle king."



"You seem to forget I'm still here, Avatar. And I'll finish off you, the rest of your friends-"
"Except me."
"-except Lord British, and then ALL OF BRITANNIA!"
"Except me."
"Except Lord British."
"I can't allow that. Iolo. SPAM SPAM SPAM HUMBUG. Emergency protocols."



"Awaiting confirmation of emergency ARMAGEDDON Protocol. Upload found in spellbook.dat. Preparing for release."
"I'm not sure this is a good idea, Steve."
"If I don't kill everyone in Britannia, they'll be murdered. By Death Cannon. This has to stop, now!"
"You fool! You truly think that can stop me!?"
"One way to find out! Iolo, VAS CORP BET MANI!"
"Acknowledged. Engaging ARMAGEDDON Protocol. It's been a pleasure serving with you, ma'am."
"Oh God, he's gonna blow!"



"Oh snaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!"
"You've really done it this time, Steve! And I don't mean it the way I meant it earlier in this conversatioooooooon!"



"Well, that wasn't so bad. Iolo and the others are dead, but they WERE right at ground zero. I seem to be perfectly fine, and Death Cannon is inert. Looks like freedom wins again, eh LB?"
"..."
"LB?"



"Whooooooopsie-daisy!"



"Well, it can't really have been that bad. Wisps usually make things up, as far as I know."



"There's no one in the tavern... ha ha, but of course there wouldn't be! It's noon...ish! I'll just head on down to the smithy..."



"Nobody's here. They really are all dead."
"So am I, if you'll remember."
"Iolo?"
"You will go to the Dagobah system."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothin', I'm just yankin' ya."
"Hahaha, good one! And you're not really dead too!"
"..."
"..."
"..."



"Whoooooooopsie-daisy! Well, I suppose we have to look at these things a little bit at a time. On the one hand, pretty much everyone in Britannia is dead, and it's kind of maybe my fault unless I can convince everyone Lord British did it. On the other hand, I did stop Death Cannon once and for all."
"Did you, Steve? Did you really?"


(with thanks to Cabadillo)

"Oh my god... you blew it all up! You MANIAC! Damn you! Damn you to hell, Death Cannon!"

Fin?