Part 26: Update XXVI - What Do You Mean, I Already Did A Sherlock Holmes Reference?

Update XXVI - What Do You Mean, I Already Did A Sherlock Holmes Reference?




Alright then, next stop on our tour through Königsberg will be the port. There's once again a lot of things to see and a lot of people to talk to, so let's get going.



Pay no attention to me using the wrong dialogue picture for the kid here. I just couldn't find it in the mess of images I have and decided to use one of the clones.

Hello, who are you?
I'm Grandy, a kind of professional hero. And you?
I'm Dani, but that sounds like a stupid girl, so my friends call me Frägelschö.
"Frägelschö"? Well, that doesn't sound like a girl's name, but... but that just sounds dumb.
That's mean, you professional hero! Now I'm sad, and I'll be sad until you get me a Kaiser roll!
A Kaiser roll?
Yes, you dummy! I'm sooooo hungry! And my mom just keeps giving me these stupid multi-grain rolls!
I'll see if I can find one.

Oh no, we fucking won't. This might look like the beginning to a sidequest, and it is. However, there is no reward in store for us when we do everything he asks us for, all we get is a Bad Thing. This is part of one of the most interesting things about Königsberg, but I can't talk a lot about it because it only comes into play right at the end (like any proper trap does). So until then, I'll just be continually referring to Bad Things that we could be getting. For now, let's just ignore this guy.



Greetings. You're new in town, aren't you? I suggest checking out the Flying Fish tonight.
Are they giving stuff away for free?
Not exactly free... but a strong guy like you has the opportunity to make a good bit of money there.
Sounds good. What do I have to do?
Can you keep a secret?
Of course.
Tell Gruzli, the doorman, that Benno invited you. Then you can get into the VIP area.
VIP?
"Very Interesting Pugilism".

That's one of the many ways to get to the boxing fights in the Flying Fish. Another method would have been to have brought a beer from Düsterburg to give to Gruzli, and another method is to bring Ali (the black boxer guy) his bread. We'll do that eventually, but first we've got other places to check out...



...like this shop here.



Ahh! You new be must! Sheeva not know you!
My name is Grandy.
Grandy? Is weird name! You come from far away, Sheeva right?
Not really. My friends and I are from Düsterburg. We're fighting against the darkness.
Ah! Then you here at right place be! In Sheeva's store you find all you need!
1) What can I buy here? 2) Tell me about the city. 3) Any secret tips?

Ah! Sheeva have many valuable talisman for every situation. Hero needs good strong talisman when fight against evil! And other things from far countries. Many things that you not find in other stores.



So, Sheeva. His inventory is kinda useless, with the exception of one item - the obsidian amulet. It protects against black magic, and that's pretty much the only magic we're ever going to run into at this point. We pick up three - one for every party member except Tarius, who already has the MP-cost halving amulet, which is even better. Now, let's see what else Sheeva has to say.

Ah! Königsberg is nice city. You see palms in front of door? That from shah of Sarabia! Sheeva feel like home here. People be friendly and smart, very smart. Not like Sheeva. Many young people be from academy of magic or others. But good old Sheeva like all people. Dumb or smart.

You must visit my friend, Sach N' Macha. Has store very east of port. He great builder. Builds many great things. You tell him Sheeva sent you, then he make time.

"Sach N' Macha" comes out to "Sachen-macher", which basically means "guy who makes things". Fantastic.



Next stop, the first of the two taverns.



Pardon me, but we are closed.
We didn't know. When do you open?
Just drop by after sundown.



I presume the other tavern will work the same way?



Pardon me, but we're closed throughout the day. You can come back tonight.
I was wondering why it's so empty here. Excuse me, we're already gone again.



Oh well, time to keep exploring then.



Welcome, travellers, to my little store for herbs and potions. I am Melissa.
Good day. What kind of herbs are you selling?
All of my wares are capable of healing. I've studied for many years at the magic academy. I brew all of my potions myself and some of them you won't find in any other store.



Melissa's store here is pretty handy to have. It has all sorts of great healing items, including items that heal the entire party, and one particularly awesome item - the Gift from the Gods. That item heals the entire party completely, both HP and MP, and also revives all fallen party members. It's the ultimate healing item, but it comes with a price - 9000 bucks is fucking incredible, especially considering that a elixir, which heals all HP and MP for one party member, costs 600 bucks, so four of those would only run you 2400 bucks. Add a few smelling salts to that, and you've got about 3000 bucks for something that does about the same thing, it just requires more party members to stop their attacking for a round. Still, since we're really fucking rich, we could pick a couple up. We don't, though, because there's a couple more stores to go through.



So let's just continue barging into other houses, like the RPG heroes we are.



What are you doing in my house?
The door was open...
But just because of that you don't just wander into a stranger's house. You could have at least knocked...
Pardon me, that's just the way we do it where we come from.
I'll look past it the first time, my young friend. I'd love to give you a course in the local etiquette, but I don't have a lot of time.
If you would allow me a question...
But only one!
1) Is there an inn somewhere around here? 2) Do you have relatives in Düsterburg? 3) What do you know about Königsberg? 4) Who are you?

It really doesn't matter what we ask, it's all inconsequential. Let's pick the third option.

It's a peaceful city where privacy is very important.
And now get out!



The next time we try to go into this guy's house, we're given the choice of knocking beforehand. So we knock...



...then we enter...



...then we get bitched at again.

Didn't you get it the first time? You're supposed to knock!
But I did knock!
And? Did I ask you to come in?
No.
Are you noticing something?
OUT!

Well, that was somewhat entertaining.



Let's check in with the bakery while we're here.



Good day to you. I've never seen you here before.
We're new in town.
You should try my delicious rolls.
We're supposed to get some bread for Ali, some sort of special power food...
Ah, I see. That'll be 200 bucks.



Then she goes to get the bread. You can see there's only one loaf there.



Then we bring the bread back to Ali.

And? Do you have it?
Of course... here you go!
Great! Thanks a lot! Here's your money back and one for your troubles.



One extra buck. You cheapskate son of a bitch.

Come to the Flying Fish tonight. Tell the doorman I invited you.

And we get an extra invitation to the boxing matches. Well, anything that guy can do, we can do better.



Good day.
1) Ali wants another bread. 2) We want to buy some rolls.

The rolls are basically useless AFAIK. You can give one to that kid, but we've already established that can lead to a Bad Thing, and otherwise I don't know of any reasons to buy them. Instead, we'll get another bread.

Ah, I see. That'll be 200 bucks.

And then she gets another one, which has regenerated now that we've left the area.



Now, we're going to eat this bread ourselves.

Not bad, this stuff...

That got us a bit of experience and one strength point. However, that's not the main reason we got this bread. Now, we leave, come back, buy and eat the bread 19 more times. This will give us a massive fucking edge later, I'll come back to it when it's relevant again. Then, it's back to bopping around town, looking for sidequests and other stuff.



My present, my wonderful... oh, pardon me. What can I do for you?
Hm, you seem to be pretty sad.
Yes, did you lose something?
We would gladly help if that's the case.
Indeed, indeed... lost, yes, I have lost something. What a shame, what an incredible shame.
What was it? It seems to be very important to you.
Important? Of course, very much so. How could I live without the present?
So tell me, what's this all about?
Oh, my, my present, the only treasure I ever had, is gone!
Was it so important, that present?
It is MY present. My TREASURE.
A ring, by any chance?
EXACTLY! How did you know?
Pure intuition. Where did you lose it? Or was it stolen?
Stolen! Yes, definitely stolen! I want it back! Pleaseplease! I'll give you something for it!
Well, let's talk about our reward after we've found it.
What is your name, anyway?
Hearon, my name is Hearon! Oh, you have to find it, please!

Well, we won't find this guy's treasure just yet, it's actually only available to us a bit later. So for now, let's move on, there's still plenty of people to talk to and sidequests to solve.



Ah! Customers! Do you want to buy my sword?
Maybe... let me take a look?
Here!
That looks completely trashed. Well, let's say... five bucks?
Five bucks? I wouldn't even serve you a half hour for that!
I don't need a servant! I thought this was about your sabre...
This is a katana!
I don't care how you call it, I don't want it!
Grandy, if I understood this man correctly, he wants to offer us his service as a swordsman, not his... katana.
Really? Why can't he say that properly, then? 1) Who are you? 2) Are you new in Königsberg? 3) Tell us about your job.

My name is Kahane. I follow the call of the sword. I serve whoever pays me and love to ignore the begging of my enemies.
Sounds fun. You have any other hobbies?
Hobbies? Er... splitting heads, slitting up stomachs, hacking off limbs, quartering, torturing, raping...
Thank you, but I didn't want to know it in that much detail!

My paths have led me here to this pearl of the north seas over endless steppes. I have slain brigands, wolves and penguins on my travels and drank their blood.
Umm... you got me wrong... I don't care what you do to pass your time, but about how long you've been here.
I've been restlessly wandering through the alleys of this mighty town, always on the lookout for people in trouble with enough gold to pay me.
I WANT TO KNOW THE DAY OF YOUR ARRIVAL!
Umm... the day before yesterday.

I follow the codex of the warrior. Only few people have the inner strength and physical strength to follow this path.
Now that sounds interesting. What do you have to do to become one of those warrior codex dudes?
Answer the following question: What is best in life?
Is this the entrance exam? 1) The hunt! 2) The battle! 3) Fucking?

The first answer goes roughly as expected:

My horse under my thighs, falcon at my wrist, an arrow in the bowstring and a delicious deer for dinner!
WRONG! You are unworthy of following the call of the sword!
Well, as long as it follows my call...

The second does as well:

To chase the enemy, to confront them and destroy them! To spit on their corpses and hear the lamentations of their women!
I didn't know of your fondness of those things...
Correct! Take your things and travel north to the monastery of the seven winds! The monks there will take you under their wing and teach you of the codex of the warrior.
I'll take a look when I have time.

But the third answer is the best:

Aww, we're going to catch up on that when we're finally finished with this, dear. Promise.

Of course, nothing comes from this, since we can't exactly drop everything and travel to the monastery in the north (if it even exists).



Can we help you somehow?
I can't believe it! You're the third one coming up with this today!
What?
No! I'm not having problems! No! I'm not a Draconian! No! I'm not a harpy either! No! These aren't my feet!
Not your feet?
These are claw sandals! The latest trend from Sarabia! My entire look is meticulously set according to the current Sarabian trends!
And what's this style called?
Dragon fashion! You might be looking at me funny now, you hicks, but one year from now everybody will be copying me!
If you say so...



There's something buried here!
A black leather bag. Something round, soft is in there.



Let's take a closer look into that bag.

Oh gods! There's two eyeballs in there!
1) Eat them? 2) What? Are you crazy?

As amusing as it might sound, eating the eyeballs is a Bad Thing, so we won't be doing it. I guess we'll eventually find out where that belongs.



Now, back to exploring.



Gero Ronsen - Investigator
I'll take EVERY case!

Well, we are looking for a missing vampire, so hey, this sounds like it might help.



Ha! Clientele! Consider your case solved! I take 100 bucks plus expenses. Any other questions?
What?
What does that mean - "What?" Didn't you come here because you have a mystery that needs solving?
We read the sign outside, dear... this man is an... "investigator".
Ronsen, Gero Ronsen! I make any sort of investigation. You have a problem, an unsolved mystery? Then you're at the right place!
Hmm... do you also investigate matters regarding vampires?
Sorry, that's the only exception I make. I've got a bit of a problem with my arteries, you must know.
Then you can't help us. See you.

Pardon me, sir, if I may have acted a bit cocky before. PLEASE, don't give me the cold shoulder...

Somehow, I get the feeling that YOU'RE the one with a problem that needs solving.
You're probably right, sir. I'm almost ruined. Nobody is making use of my services.
I'm not surprised, what with your look. You could use some new gear!
What do you mean, dear?
Well, just look at that wrinkled-up hat. Unfeasible! Take that off right away!

But I kind of feel naked without my hat, if you know what I mean...
Considering the bare facts on display I can relate to that.
We'll see what we can do for you. There has to be a fitting hat somewhere here in town.
Stay where you are. We'll be right back!
No worries. I wouldn't dare to be seen outside without a hat anyway.



One quick backtrack to the general store, and we find a plaid hat and a fitting plaid coat. This should do fine.



And right back to Ronsen.

And? Did you find something?
We found a pretty elegant plaid hat. Try that one.

Now I feel a lot better!
But now the hat doesn't fit at all with those thug clothes with those rivets. Nobody wears that kind of stuff these days!
We've got this plaid coat here! That would fit great!
Good idea, dear. How about you pay the same attention to your own look?
What's that supposed to mean? My clothing has to be practical and especially well armored, and that's that!

Don't you think that this coat is a bit warm for this season?
Now don't you start whining, sir Ronsen. If you want to earn some money, you've got to sweat a bit!
Well, now you look pretty proper... but something's still missing.
I feel tarted up enough.
Tarted up, yes, but you're looking like a gentleman on travels, and you're missing... a certain something...
And what should I do? Mantle my face? Grow a beard?
We'll take a look around in town, and we'll come back when we find something fitting.
Could I take this coat off in the meantime?
Don't you dare, sir Ronsen! You have to get used to wearing it!

You know, I think I've seen something that could fit.



Let's check back in with Sheeva.



Yep, there we go. A pipe! This seems perfect!



And? Did you find something?
I think so... this pipe might bring some character to your vacant look.

I think we can unleash you on your clients in good conscience now.
Do you really think that the pipe makes a good impression?
Of course, sir Ronsen. Now you look like a person that thinks over all the possibilities before he acts.
Alright, if you think so, I guess I'll believe you.

So that's that sidequest solved, and we get some experience. And if we talk to him again...

I think I'll get a pseudonym. Schorsch, or Schorlock, or something like that.

You get right on that.



We've got more doors to open and check out.



Can't you knock before you just burst in here?
Sorry, we forgot. Force of habit.
Well, now that you're here... what can I do for you?
Who are you?
My name is Wahnfried.

And then Grandy pulls his sword out!

That's it then, pal! We'll take care of you now!
Grandy! Calm down! Can't you see that isn't the real Wahnfried?
I've learned not to trust just what I see! Or have you forgotten Roncarlo Ti Paroli?
Grandy! The sun is shining in here! A vampire would have gone up in flames by now!
Umm... that's right...
Now put your sword away, you idiot!
Get the hell out of my home, or I'm calling the guards!
Yes, of course! We're already gone!



His father didn't do him a favor when he gave him that name.
The man was definitely over thirty years old! In those days, Wahnfried was a name like any other.
I guess you're right there.

Calling bullshit. Calling your son "Wahnfried" in a German-speaking area is like calling your son "Insano" in an English-speaking area. Not a regular occurrence, and not a regular name.



Oh well, there's one more room to be checking out here.



Greetings. Can I help you? Who are you?
My name is Grandy and am a fighter against the darkness!
And pompous beyond compare...
My name is Natascha. I'm studying at the academy and specialized in exploring the ocean.
Sadly, the university is closed right now and all my friends are with their parents.
And what's with your parents?
My mother is long dead... and my father is a whaler. He's working very hard to allow me to get a proper education. Sometimes he's at sea for months. I haven't seen him since the last winter. And in the meantime, the money for my studies ran out, but as long as we're on vacation, I can work in the Flying Fish...
Don't you worry about your father? Hunting whales has to be very dangerous.
Of course... sometimes I lay awake for nights and can't think about anything else.
Should we help you with some money?
Thanks, that's very nice of you, but I can manage.

Hell, I wouldn't care, we're fucking loaded from our turtle race racket. Still, I guess we'll have to see if we can't find out about this girl's father. For now, more wandering around.



G'day, folks. New in Königsberg?
We just recently arrived.
1) Who are you? 2) Aren't dwarves afraid of water?

I'm Minas, humble inventor of the "Minas-Pick-Me-Up-Special"!
Sounds interesting, sir Minas. Is that some sort of better smelling salt?
Honestly, it's got the reverse effect... I should probably re-think the name... If you want to try it, just drop into my tavern this evening.
When we find the time, we'll drop by.

You got some false information there, young man. From young age, dwarves love swimming in the ocean and in rivers and lakes, but there's one thing we hate:
And that is?
Drinking the stuff! Bah! Now, some dwarven beer, fresh off the tap, now that's what I want to see! It's also an excellent replacement for mother's milk, by the way...

Shitfaced dwarven babies. Sounds fantastic. Then again, I suppose dwarves simply can't get shitfaced, they just drink and drink and drink.



THE INSANITY! HA HA HA! THE INSANITY IS COMING! IT COMES BEFORE THE LORD COMES! LEDUNAR WILL STAY TRUE! YEEES! TRUE! THE LORD WILL REWARD HIM!
What the hell are you babbling about, man? Are you still sane?
Save your breath, Grandy. This man was given insanity by the Dark God.
What do you mean?
I've seen this a lot. Some people undergo a pact with the Dark God hoping to gain the ability to see into the future. But I haven't seen anybody that stays sane for long with that knowledge.
That's another example of how the Dark God treats his followers.

And as we try to leave...

THE DAY WITHOUT A NAME IS BEING FORESHADOWED! IT IS COMING! AND EVERY CREATURE WILL HAVE TO GET A NEW NAME!
What's this guy talking about now?
The "day without a name"... the followers of the Dark God believe that that will be the day following the night when HE makes his way into our sphere.

Well, that's awfully foreshadowy.



But I'm sure that's nothing important, let's just keep bopping around town, breaking into random houses.



Who are you, and what are you doing here?
Well... the door was open, so we thought we'd just check in to see if everything's alright.
That's a laudable attitude, but I can certainly take care of myself...
1) Do you live here alone? 2) What's your job?

No, I live together with my wife Trudel. But she's barely at home. Actually, I pretty much never see her.
Trudel?
What are you looking at me like that for? Did something happen to her?
Umm... no... I mean... I had an aunt named Trudel, and she always beat me.
I just had to think of that.

What he's trying to not say is that your wife is the town bicycle. And in a town as large as Königsberg, that means that bike gets a whole lot of use.

I'm no longer employed. I used to be a sergeant with the Imperial troops, which are also paying for my pension ever since that accident...
What kind of accident?
I would prefer not to talk about it. That's my own business... and perhaps the business of my wife as well.

I don't think we can ever find out what exactly happened there.



Nobody's opening the door...

What? A door we can't open? Inconceivable! Oh well, I guess we just need to make due with all the other stuff around...



...like this weapon shop!

Hello, folks! You looking for a nice blade or a shining armor? You've come to the right place with Weapons-Lars!
Greetings. I'm Grandy, and I'm always in business for a fine blade.
Then my assortment is sure to delight you! I specialized myself with the gear of the Kostakian dragon hunters. There's nothing better in the world, but it also has its price...



JESUS. Yeah, it sure fucking has its price. I mean, we could afford a full set of stuff, but still, there might be other stuff we want in Königsberg. Best not spend a lot of money before we get spend-happy.



Hello together. You're new here, right?
Yep, we just came from Düsterburg.
Oh my, you seem to be quite brave. Only the greediest traders and a few sentimental old men dare to go there. How is it there?
It's peaceful now, we cleaned up there!
Of course...
We beat the hell out of the dark duke and chased him here to Königsberg.
Yeah, right...
What, don't you believe me?
No, not at all. You're a hero, of course. Just like my granddad, he always told me of his great achievements...
...that didn't make him a single buck...

...fucking random guys at the port, man. No respect. No respect at all.



Let's get out of here.



Greetings, gentlemen. How can I help you?
First we need to know what this place is.
The harbor master's office. As you can imagine, I'm the harbor master. My name is Arturus... Artifex Arturus.

Artifex is another one of the major contributors to the project.

What does a harbor master do?
I'm responsible for all the formalities connected to all the shipping traffic in the port. Every load has to be sighted and possibly declared. Furthermore I arrange passages on ships.
We want to... 1) ...travel! 2) ...know something about Wahnfried.

Eh, travelling is pointless. Mostly because Libra doesn't want to play along. Let's see if Wahnfried maybe booked a boat.

To be exact, a certain Wahnfried von Düsterbrocken, or Düsterburg, or whatever...
Have you ever heard of him? Did he book passage on a ship or something like that?
Of course the name is familiar to me, but I don't have anything registered under his name...
Perhaps something with the name "Xelram"?
No, sorry... I can't find anything with that either.

Oh well. I guess he wouldn't be that overt. Time to check out the ships currently moored here.



There's a bottle swimming in the water down there...

That might be relevant, but we can't get to it right now. Oh well again.



STOP! None may pass! Strangers aren't allowed on board!
Alright, we're leaving...



Greetings! What can I do for you?
1) What kind of ship is this? 2) Who are you? 3) What cargo are you carrying?

This is the Karat, the crown jewel of the Kostakian trade fleet.

I'm Brownbear and am the captain of this ship.
"Brownbear"... that's a pretty weird name for a seafarer.
Leave me alone with that! Not my fault that my dad was a rich fur trader in Kostakia. As an ordinary seaman I wondered whether I should change my name to "Seabear". The others always teased me about my name. But then I got to know a man the kind of which I've never seen before. A crafty fellow that knows all the waves in all the oceans of the world. His father named him "Susanne". He told me that it was this name in particular that made him what he is today, because he had to defend himself against everybody else. That impressed me a lot. I kept my name, and you can see where it got me.

We have grain and turnips for the Kostakian people.
No passengers? I'm talking about a thin, black-haired man with the skin tone of a Königsberger cheese.
No, only food.
And any sort of boxes, coffins or the like? A parcel for a private person.
Sorry, but I can't help with that either.

Well, that was kind of interesting. That'll be it for the port - join me next time, as we take a look at Klipping.