Part 29: You Can Stand Me Up at the Gates of Anime

Listen, I tell you I'm done with that game. Really.



I've taken to more sophisticated and enjoyable experiences. Now if you would please-

*Hits ball*



damnit

Nope. I'm not going back to VC2. I've got a right mind to call security for even suggesting that.

...So what, if I make this hole on par you'll leave me alone? Easy.



fuck



aragharhgh



-----

Update 23: You Can Stand Me Up At the Gates of Anime

...but I won't back down!

Er, right. Unfunny intros aside, I said I'd finish this mediocre piece of software, so let's just just go ahead and do that.

It's been decided in the thread to just ignore covering combat since it just happens to be basically the same thing every time. From now on, I'm just covering story stuff- if anything of note happens in a combat mission, an unlikely event, I'll tell you. Hell, if anything of interest happens in the story it'll be a miracle.

Oh, and I'm not even going to remotely feign that I think this game has any redeeming qualities anymore. If you for whatever reason like this game, I'm still basically only going to be complaining about it. There's not much for me to defend here.

Great, let's get to this stuff because I'd rather have to deal with this game for as short a time as I possibly can. Because this game no longer deserves my effort, I'll just be using a basic portrait for everyone now. It saves a surprisingly large amount of time on my end, and you've bound to have gotten the gist of them by this point.


Music: Spring in Lanseal



Erhem, there's nothing wrong here. This is exactly where we were left off, I just gotta rewind a bit and show you the starting update for the month.



Oh, and Lavinia got a Sherman Tank for Christmas. Well, an off-brand "Shermn". This was voted for as per the thread by one person. We're still Team Santa for this month.

Okay, with that out of the way and starting off after last month's cutscene, we begin here...

---------

~Classroom - Story Event~




_huh: It's a collection of proofs asserting their actual existence.



Valkyria exist. You just saw one. There was more than one in the last war. I'd think more than a few soldiers from that war would have claimed so.

: Apparently a number of archaeology experts think they were real.
: None make mention of their alleged powers, though. That's likely a myth.
: What powers were those, again?



: Right, where the Valks took out the Darcsens a bajillion years ago.
: The Darcsens supposedly terrorized Europa with ragnite technology.
: Until the Valkyrur swept in an stopped them, or so the story goes.
: There's not a shred of archaeological evidence to back it. It's myth.



: Wait, blue flame, a lance, and a shield? That sounds like that girl we saw.
: That's what made me curious. I thought I'd read up on it.



: After seeing her fight, I'd believe she stepped right out of a legend.

I'd believe I had stepped right into an anime. A bad one.

: So what, this time the Valks are sweeping in to stop the rebels?
: Who can say? But some of those rebels bore the same traits.
: If the rebel army has a force of Valkyrur, that's a serious threat.
: Stopping their revolution would suddenly become lot more complicated.




: Right. We'll make it work!



: But you're right that the rebels can't be ignored.
: Anyway, we can ask the little squirt if she's a Valk the next time we see her.





Sorry, EvilKing, but I'm borrowing your format. Hope you don't mind.

Also, yes the game is really going to hold onto that "is the child a valkyria" routine for as long as it can. It will end with as little fanfare as possible, as will most plot points.

Meanwhile, we have a daily event.

---

~ Music Room - Daily Event~

Music: Everyday Life of the Class






: I don't think I've ever heard it all, though. It puts me to sleep.
: It is a gentle song, with a focus on strings.
: But yes, it is one of the more famous pieces of Gallian classical music.
: Then I look forward to hearing it.
: Are you big into music, Helmut?
: I don't dislike it. I find it calming.
: As do it. Listening to my music while petting my darlings is just heaven.
: Hmm, yeah, I think I'm happiest when I'm eating sweets.
: Hee hee. Then shall we have to break for tea after class, hm?
: Ooh, yay! I'm there!





----

That was a nice event, though it really doesn't match the tone of the game.

Well, that's basically a non-statement given this game doesn't have a consistent tone. Thanks game. As it is, it was an okay filler.

Oh, and here's another daily event.


~Hospital - Daily Event~




: Th-Thanks. It's a shipment of ragnaid stock, so it's pretty bulky.
: Sure is nice to have around, though. It's kind of amazing stuff.
: You just shine a light at an injury and bam!
: It really has changed things but it's still new to the medical field.
: Oh, is it?



: Word got around to some researchers, and they came up with ragnaid.
: Even then they still don't really understand how it works.
: Hah, that's crazy! I didn't know you were such an expert on it.
: Heh heh. It's about the only thing.
: B-but if you ever need treatment, I'll be there.
: I'm banking on it!




------

They give us a little backstory and then apply handwavium. That's just great.

Anyways, after a mission, we pick back up with the main story.

---

~Rebel Base - Story Event~

Music: Theme of the Rebels




: I await any reprimand you see fit to serve me.
: Rrgh.
: The day we storm Randgriz is not far off.
: You will redeem yourself by seeing this revolution to its fruition.
: By the Gassenarl name I swear it.


: Yes, of course. Baldren, report on the performance of the V2s.


: A single blase proved sufficient to scrap a Gallian Army tank.
: With further refinement, one squad ought to rival one human battalion.
: A full battalion? Mm, that is good news.
: It bears note that they remain vastly inferior to the prototype V0, Dirk.
: And certainly to the true-blooded Valkyria of two years past.


: So the day they can enter the war in earnest is still a ways off.
: I'm expediting the process to try to keep ahead of the Empire's labs.
: This would be simple enough, had the Asgardian Council survived.



: But this is all good news. We have Dirk, and work on the V2s has borne results.
: We will retake Gallia with those two swords. All else begins from there.
: B-but, sir--



: That bit about the mission failing because of you. Was that true?
: ...What are you driving at, Audrey?



: Hmph. Well, no matter. No good would come of reporting it to Father.
: I'm off, Audrey, and you have your prayers to get to.




--



---

Yep, in a nutshell all we learn is that the V2's don't work nearly as good as they look like they do. There's a presently unaccounted for V1, and an Asgardian Council, but I honestly can't even say if we learn any more about those later.

Guess what? I've got another daily event right here to break it up for ya.

--

~Gymnasium - Daily Event~

Music: Everyday Life of the Class



: Turn right!
: About face!
: You're slow, Haswell! What class are you in?



: Then act like it! Failure is not permitted. Class A is without flaw.

: Yes, ma'am!

: Next, to the drill ground. We'll practice for the Laevatein Cup. Now, march!

Yes, ma'am!





--

Sorry, I know that wasn't much. That's all I've got for that event; I'm hoping my summaries speak for me. Anyways, let's do the last two story events before I hit the events related to the end of month mission.

---

~Classroom / Cafeteria - Story Event~




: Steak, you said? All right.





: Ha ha! Your cheeks are puffed out like some kind of chipmunk.
: Watching you eat is killing my appetite.
: Hey, there's nothing wrong with tucking into some grub! Even Leon said so!
: "A full belly is a full heart," he said!

If you have a full heart in this case, I'm afraid you're probably having a heart attack.



: Of course, he'd already fought in the Militia for two years by that point.
: It was there he was scouted for Lanseal.
: He even had a nickname, the Scarlet Lion, right? That's so cool!
: He actually got started back home. He formed and led a town watch.



: Ha ha! If it were anyone else, I'd think you had a big ol' crush on him!
: So one time, this crazy fugitive holes up in town. Hostaes, the whole works.
: Leon didn't want the other watchmen in danger, so he went in after him solo!
: He took a bullet, but he got the guy, AND got all the hostages out safe!



: I mean, who DOES that? I'd never have the guts.
: But why did he have to go in alone? Didn't he have people there he trusted?
: Huh?
: If something had happened to your brother, so many people would've been hurt.
: It makes me sad to think he took his own life that lightly...
: Uhh, Cosette?



: There's still some steak left on Zeri's plate, Avan!
: Ooh good call. If he's not gonna eat it, I will!

*Swipes the steak*

: Y-You just... You animal! Give it back! Spit it out this instant!

*Runs at Avan*



: H-hey, calm down, man. Put the fork down. This doesn't have to-- AAAUGH!




-------

I think this is a pretty accurate summary. Again, Cosette spends most of her time trying to prove herself as something other than a third wheel, Zeri exposits, Avan goes on and on about LEON, THE GREATEST.

Cosette's basically been comic relief the whole game, but I think you can see how this game's inability to hold a tone is spreading deep.


Anyways, one more to go for today's update.


-----

Back Alley - Story Event



Oh, yes. Murder gremlin loli here is part of the main plot now. Expect to see her a lot more often.





: Mm...
: My name's Cosette. What's yours?
: Aliasse.
: That's a pretty name. I'll call you Ali for short!
: And I'm Avan. Nice to meet you, squirt.
: So, we were wondering. Are you a Valkyria?
: Uh huh. Mama says I am.



: Well, either way, thanks for helping us out before. You really saved us!
: Thanks? What's thanks?
: Huh? Are you serious? Um, thanks is like...



: It made you happy when I fought?
: Well, sure! We would have been in a lot of trouble if you hadn't shown up.


: So if I kill a lot more people will you say thanks again?

...Yep. This is what we're getting.

: What?! No! We're thanking you for keeping us safe, not for killing anybody!
: What's the difference?
: You make it sound like fighting and killing are the same thing, Ali.


: They're flower seeds. Lion's paw, it's called. Have you ever seen it?
: I dunno. How's it taste?
: They're not for eating! C'mon, Ali, let's plant them here together.

Music: Days With Classmates



: Ha ha ha! This is fun!
: If you keep these seeds watered, they'll send up buds before you know it.
: The flowers have friends?
: What? Oh, no, not that kind of bud. A blossom, I mean. Want to water them?
: Um, sure! I want to try!



: She's an odd one, huh? Wonder if all Valkyrur are like that.
: She does have quirks, but she seems like a pretty normal little girl to me.
: She was so cute when she was concentrating on planting those seeds.



: I think I'll stick to my brother...






---

Yep, that just happened. Listen, Cosette, I hardly think murderchild here is normal. This game is dumb.



Eh, anyways, I'm basically playing out of the yearbook at this point. Those next 3 events are related to the end of month mission, so we'll catch up with those once I've finished up the handing out the character stories.

Speaking of those, we've got quite a couple this week: Alexis, Nahum, Vicky, Raymond, Helmut, and Chloe. They shouldn't take me too long to get written up, but I am working on two LPs right now and the other one is due an update real soon.

Catch you next time in our next update: Update 24: Character Stories - War and Art

_{One of these days I'll update the OP, I promise.}