Part 41: Shots Fired and Laser Lady Talk
Update 35: Shots Fired and Laser Lady TalkWelcome back to animeland, where things are starting to happen. This'll be another long update, the last long one until the finale, probably.

It's September now, so I'm basically obligated to ask:
Do you remember the 21st night of September?
...Disco references out of the way, let's get this over with. I've got golf to get back to.
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~ Main Story Event ~
Music: Desert Battle











Twybil's Summary posted:
: So, after they blew up the academy, they were able to take the capital and dethrone Cordelia. This basically just proves that one, the Gallian army sucks, and two, a bunch of teenagers is what was foiling the Empire.
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~ Randgriz Throne Room - Main Story Event ~
Music: Theme of the Rebels











Won't the Empire just attack again, then?











*Gunshot*
Music: None






*Shoots him again*


















Twybil's Summary posted:
: AHAHAHAHA
: Wow, you won. Neat.
: But it's not over yet until we genocide the Darcsens!
: Suddenly, I'm here and I must say that throne suits you.
: Ah, so am I set to be part of the Federation yet?
: Probably, but you really have to stop the genocide to keep public support.
: The fuck?! What's all this about, dad?!
: Boy, we're joining the Feds to stay alive. The purges were just a scapegoat.
: WHAT?! NO?! We must keep with what we've been doing!
: Son, you're a dumbass. You'll ruin the country that way.
: No, you're the dumbass! The Federation will just take over us!
: Idiot! You'd rather us be destroyed in a repeat of what happened in the last game?! We need political power!
: Traitor!
*Shoots Bad Dad*
: Argh! Blind fool!
: I CAN SEE EVERYTHING! I won't have our country be ruined by immigrants! I will rebuild this country!
: We have the laser ladies, nothing can stop us! You won't believe in my waifus, and you must pay the price!
*Shoots again*
: Holy shit!
: Hey, you! Fuck you, and your imperialism! I'm taking you hostage!
: The fuck?! Why the hell did you shoot our dad for?!
: Oh, hey, forgot you were here. Say, I'm going to remake Gallia with laser lady destructive power, wanna come with?
: (Avenge jerkass father or destroy everything?) ...Yeah, okay. I'm up for trading dad for a crusade.
: Hey, thanks! Okay, everyone still listening, Eggman just got shot by Gallian spies and I'm leader now.
----
Welp, there goes Eggman. Defeated by his own kid, and not that
Also, that was wordy as fuck.
Anyways, I really don't have anything else to say about this event. Honestly, Gilbert was the more compelling villain of the three. Baldren's a laser lady obsessed racist, and Audrey seems like she'll do anything to see stuff get blown up with lasers. Gilbert at least had a plan that made at least some sense.
After that we do another mission and get an immediate status update on these dinguses.
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~ Randgriz Throne Room - Main Story Event ~
Music: Theme of the Rebels












Twybil's Summary posted:
: Uh, hey, we're fighting in the north and we're kinda struggling here.
: Send in the laser soldiers.
: What? But we're going to use a lot of energy doing that! More than we can handle!
: No problem, I just extorted the bootlicker for more energy. Go attack this Canyon, it'll be a really annoying map, I'm sure. Oh, and secure a supply line or something.
: Eh, you actually did good this time, I guess. I'm on it.
----
So, yeah, this is the story event that tells us what we'll be doing at the end of the month.
In the meantime, we've got annoying missions that are difficult to do and we've only just now unlocked the capability of getting second level promoted units.

Oh, and these fucking things are in play now. They've got a nasty range, high damage, and a really tiny radiator on the back, way up in the air. We don't see much of them, but they're annoying as all get out when they do show up.
We have to do like 5 damn generic missions this month to get to the end of it. I was cheating massively and it was still a slog.
With that said, let's just move on to the next story event. It actually doesn't have anything to do with the rebels...which means we have to deal with Avan.
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~ Back Alley - Main Story Event ~
Music: Everyday Life of the Class







Music: Days With Classmates







*She crushes them with her foot*
Music: Conflict



So you're saying being an oxygen producer and base member of the food chain is ornamental? Listen, you don't know jack about science, lady.
But what do I care? She's just the strawman evil scientist + abusive parent wrapped into one.







*She runs off*














Twybil's Summary posted:
: Manmade laser ladies? Didn't they rip this off the first game-
: Pretty flower!
: And you grew it all yourself, heatstroke aside!
: Neat.
: There you are.
: Mom, look at my flower-
*Stomps it*
: Fuck your useless plants. Go back to your room and do not leave.
: WAAAAAAAH
: You heartless bastard! How could you! She grew that herself!
: She's a test subject, and doesn't need to be anything but a killing machine. That is Project Valhalla, after all. Making mutant cyborg supersoldiers is my life's work.
: You mean this was all a front for human experimentation?!
: Yes. Anyways, your brother was a very nice test subject. He was hot-
: You don't get to talk about LEON!
: Whatever. My stuff got jacked and my employer's dead. I'm out.
*Leaves*
: Fuck you and fuck your experiments! This is all evil, I tell ya!
----
So, if you hadn't noticed, they're knocking off the artificial Valkyria thing from VC1's ending. It won't be the last thing they knock off from it.
You can probably guess where this is going.
----
~ Back Alley - Main Story Event ~
Music: Tear of Wars









*Guns get unholstered*









She means Selvaria Bles and Maximillian, from the first game. They had to connect this game to it even more.












*She starts walking away*


















Twybil's Summary posted:
: Ahh! I found you!
: Get back here, we're leaving.
: But I don't wanna! I wanna stay with Avan and Cosette!
: Don't talk back.
: But, I don't wanna destroy stuff anymore! I wanna protect!
: Hmph, what nonsense.
*Pulls a gun on her, Avan returns the favor*
: I have no use for a laser lady who won't destroy things. You exist to destroy. Now get out of my way or die.
: Fucking try it, I dare ya! You can't have her!
: Bah. *Holsters gun* How confusing, both experiments have grown attached to someone else, it's like I'm a bad parent or something. Anyways, you'll die meaninglessly if you follow this path. Oh, and I was responsible for VC1.
: Shut the fuck up!
: I just don't wanna kill anymore! I'm staying with these two!
: Bah, I'll find a new one. Time to start scouring orphanages again. Humanity makes a soldier weak, and a freak like you will never have a normal life.
*Walks away*
: Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
: Damn, she was a total creep, but she was your mom...
: *Bawling*
: But that doesn't matter: we can be sisters now!
: Really? Yaaaaay!
: Yep, and I'm drafting you into the class too!
: Yaaaaay!
----
So, through the act of parental abandonment, we have gained Murder Child on our team. As previously discussed way back in the beginning, Ali comes as an entirely unpromoted scout while we're struggling to even get 2nd rank promoted units. It's a gigantic pain, normally.
Her potentials are kind of contrary to each other. Mysterious Body a hold over from the first game has her fully heal at random, but Valkyria gives her a boost to all stats when below half HP. Her max HP is pretty bad, so if you want to make the best of her potentials, either go glass cannon as Sniper Elite or tanky with Hvy Scout.
Her other potentials are just minor damage boosts and defense losses when near allies and away from them, respectively.
Her battle personality is entirely dissonant with her "I don't want to kill", being loud proclamations of "Buh-bye!" and other aggresive lines.
You could also just opt to not use her, which is likely what you'll do anyways. She's forced onto the team, but the cap is turned to 20 instead of 19, so you're not losing out.
Oh, and uh, story stuff happened. I don't know what you want me to say about that last event, but it was pretty expected. I didn't originally even know this would happen, but I rightly guessed it would.
We're going to be seeing a decent bit more of her, though. Like right now. It can't be that bad, right?
----
~ Classroom - Main Story Event ~
Music: Days With Classmates

You'd be wrong.


Ah, yes, we're going that route to try and excuse the unfortunate clothing choices.











































Twybil's Summary posted:
: hi guiz!
: Wha- oh, damn, why? I thought we were done with this!
: It was too hard to move around in! A 5 inch skirt and a ill-fitting crop top is much better!
: C'mon, let's show you around campus!
: Are you trying to get us all arrested?
: [Lanseal Girl's Vest] 10k, [Torn Off Sleeves] 100G, get now on AH
--
: Wow, it's gotten really empty here.
: When you get bombed, that tends to happen. Anyways, this isn't even a functioning school anymore.
: Which is why we're still policing the south despite the battle being to the north!
: We have to do what we can.
: The fate of the world lies in the hands of high schoolers!
: Yeah, whatever, I'm hungry!
: LFG LC (Lanseal Cafeteria) raid, pst to join
--
: Oh, hey. Nice to see ya.
: You're still here?
: Yeah, I show up in one kid's event and otherwise sell you unusable orders, remember?
: Bread!
: Bread!
: Er, why are you two still here?
: Eh, you kids are making an effort to save the world, figured we'd make you some bread.
: Cash out before we bail the country, you know.
: Oh! Thanks!
: Bread is good! Can you bake with lasers?
: Hold up, lasers?
: Oh, right! Ali is a Valkyria, but she's totally normal! Don't worry!
: Oh, neat, I'm a Valkyria too.
: WHAAAAAAT?!
: We found it out when my dumbass of a rival shot her with a sniper rifle.
: Hey, little laser lady, can you promise me to only tank, no DPS?
: does guild rules allow that?
: My kid's going to be rolling her toon soon, and we're going to tank for her. You should do the same for those on your friends list.
: They'll be lucky to have someone to make dungeon queues faster.
: Littlelasergirl has voted: Ready
: Avan, put down the fucking carbs and listen to this! It's history!
: Sorry, this stuff's too good!
![]()
: Alright, that sounds like a call for more bread!
----
Okay, I'll admit I'm letting the summaries get highly edited, but I'm actually having a bit of fun with them. Well, trying to at least. I don't know why I find MMO slang to be funny in this context, I just do.
I can't help but think this event would've made much more impact and sense had it happened earlier. As it is now, the "protect not destroy" thing is a bit redundant.
Oh, and we're not done yet, by the way. Another mission later and we'll finally be able to get to that Roendahl place they mentioned 3 events ago.
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~ Faculty Office - Main Story Event ~








You never really mourned him, honestly. You didn't even believe he was dead, remember?




















Also this. These games seem intent on never letting us actually use a Valkyria's power.









Twybil's Summary posted:
: 'Sup, teach.
: You doing okay? You know, with your zombie brother and all?
: Yep! It's weird as fuck, but I'mma bring him back!
: Cool. Anyways, I need you to take back Roendahl Dam because the army's still too busy trying to retake the capital.
: Ok.
---
: trashed my looms, my ilvl is only 350, can i still join?
: Sure, I was planning on it!
: So, yeah, go take Roendahl back. You'll have to deal with Audrey, you know the lady you failed to catch back in Yuell.
: Audrey?
: Yes. So get to it!
----
Why we'll never actually be able to use a Valkyria's power in combat is just baffling to me. Yeah, I know the whole "only for defense" thing, but is it so much to ask for to have something on par with the V2's?
Anyways, Roendahl is not like the Lanseal map and we will be seeing it again.

It's new, large and somewhat vertically oriented. The only notable mechanic to it is the button to open up the dam door. Yuell has these, but they're really not that important. For this map, there's always this one button, and the door it activates is always closed and required.
It's also tedious as fuck, because they intentionally focus their units to make getting to the button as difficult as possible.
Oh, and you'll end up doing like 5 more missions here at minimum. Have fun, because I cheated through all of them and they were still a slog. Don't even get me started on the impossibility of finishing a defense map in any reasonable time.
Anyways, here's the last event for the month. Audrey's the boss we have to beat, hiding in her oversized tank in an area barred off by the floodgate.
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~ Roendahl Canyon - Main Story Event ~
Music: Theme of the Rebels












Uh, this is nice and all, guys, but would one of you shoot her already? Some handcuffs or something? I mean if you're close enough to talk-




-right... Good work, Leonard. You let them get away a second time






Twybil's Summary posted:
: Damnit, how do I keep losing to kids?!
: Give it up, lady!
: did we win
: Hot damn, a laser lady! Why do you fight for this child scum?
: She's a kid just like us, and our friend!
: Inconcievable!
: Let's retreat.
: Let's do that! You'll pay for your HERESY, high schoolers!
*Runs away*
: I can't believe you let her walk the fuck away again! Erhem, I mean wow she was a real cultist there.
: But Ali's just a normal girl!
: Littlelasergirl has voted: Ready
: Mission complete!
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Like I said, you still have to do like, 4 or 5 other missions here before the end of the game. And yes, we just let villain #2 walk away again. Good fucking job, Leonard
Anyways, next time we join our wacky squad as they rip off another part of VC1 with a Darcsen-based ragnite mine mission. No, seriously.
We've got October, November, and two updates of December and that's it. This game goes by a lot faster when you skip all the padding and get right to it.