Part 25: Update XXII - The Best Sidequest Ever

Update XXII - The Best Sidequest Ever



♪ BGM: Syrahs - field4.mid ♫

Alright, so this time around, let's actually do something about this baby problem, because this sidequest is amazing.



1) Talk to him... - 2) Drug him with soporifics... - 3) Give him a toy...

These are the three options we have to resolve this quest. We can either give the baby a teddy bear - we could either have one from our earlier fuckery-aboutery in... uh... what was that town called again... oh, right, Thyrik. We could have traded the lollipop we still have in our inventory for a teddy bear there. Alternatively, we can buy one in one town somewhere on this map, don't know which one, though. This would gain us some Humanity and get us the reward. Also, we have the option of using a soporific from our inventory and drugging the baby to sleep, which will solve the problem and get us the reward, but cost us some Humanity. And finally, we have the best option, talking to the baby.

Well, then begin, you master of the baby language!
I'm on it, step aside!
Well, now I'm curious!
1) Babble Sabble... - 2) Hey, you little dubidu... - 3) GootchiGootchiGoo... - 4) Ai, who do we have here?

There is one single correct answer in these branches, and you need all correct answers to solve the quest this way. As an aside, I do not begrudge KJ150 for having to translate this shit into English. Poor bastard.

Hmmm...
1) You cuddlewuddle... - 2) Habbahabbahabba... - 3) You are so cutseywootsey... - 4) Lolli-Polli-Dububu...

Marlex, how did you come up with this shit?

Well, this is making me puke.
Just leave this to her...
1) Well, you bunnywunny... - 2) Ai, my little sunshine! - 3) Aren't you a cutie... - 4) Cuddlywuddly...

Oh my god.

He's about to kill himself. And I'm about to kill myself, too!
That would be reasonable.
1) Oh, look, the sandman! - 2) Sleep tight, my child... - 3) Now you hafta sleep, cuddle... - 4) Time to go beddy-byes...

You know, how do you come up with the "right" answer for this, anyway? Anyway, if we get all four right answers...



Wow...
It was nothing.

Now, you'd think we'd get the quest reward now, but that involves getting XP, and I don't want to get XP right now, like you probably already know.



Instead, we're going to be checking out that mysterious figure in the top left corner of the map. We also equip the Sunblock Cloaks, because I know what's coming. Anyway, if we approach that top left corner...



Hehe, got him, I would say! Go, after him!
Where did he go?
Somewhere outside of this town, undoubtedly! Let's hurry after him!

Off we go!



♪ BGM: A Truth Revealed - WraithTouch.mid ♫

We'll get him!



The thief has a fixed route, so we just follow him along. And almost as if I already knew what was coming, we're going through the desert, meaning that we'd be kind of fucked if we didn't have Sunblock Cloaks.



Eventually, he stops at a pyramid, and we catch up with him.



♪ BGM: Silence ♫

The thief just looks at us and runs off.

After him! We almost got him!



We follow him into this cave. Weird statues here - they kind of look like Gremlins.



♪ BGM: Feeding After Midnight - h-figment.mid ♫

Hang on a second, I recognize this music! That's from the NES game for Gremlins 2! So is that an intentional choice given the Gremlins-looking statues outside? That's... weird, but OK, sure. Anything that leads to more Sunsoft NES music is fine by me. Now, we've got a cave to look through.



It's quite the windy cave. Now, you'll note that there are a whole bunch of events spread around in lines here. This will play into the gimmick for this cave. The gimmick for this cave is quite simple. When we run into one of these event lines...



There he WAS, Valnar... you are too slow!
No time to argue! After him, or he'll get away!

The thing is that we have to run over 5 of these event lines in order to trigger the thing we need to progress.



So for now, we just keep running around the cave, constantly being eluded by this thief.



We also find some chests, but nothing major in them - though one has a save stone, that's always nice.



I am faster!



We pick up some secrets while we're at it, too.



And without a lock pick, we can't change that...

Another locked chest that I'm probably not going to open, ever.



This bit had some dialogue that didn't play, though it's probably the best one, so here it is:

Come on, you're not giving up on me now, are you?
Never!
Well...
ASGAR!
Yeah, yeah, all right! Let's keep going!



You think!?
At least I hope so...



After bopping around this cave for quite some time, running into this guy an estimated 10~15 times, we eventually corner him... or do we?



Damn it, he's gone!
That was a secret entrance! There's got to be a way to open it!
I'm going to kill him!
Calm down, Asgar. We'll get him eventually!
Hm, do you see anything?
Hmmm...

Now, this has multiple ways it can go, depending on difficulty. If we're on Easy, we find a switch and off we go. On Normal and Hard...

There's something down here. A small indentation. Too small to get my finger in.
Oh, great, now we also have to look for something that might fit into there.
Even if we can find some kind of stick, it doesn't automatically mean that it will open the secret entrance.
Then what else do you suggest we are supposed to do?
...
Then keep an eye out for a thin stick or something similar.

This also goes differently depending on difficulty. If we're on Normal, we just eventually find a stick we can pick up without issue. On Hard, however...





Get it!



♪ BGM: Mini Boss - VD2Kampf4.mid ♫

...we have to fight a mini-boss of sorts.

Kobold:

Recommended level: 6

HP: 800
BP: 40
Attack: 70
Defense: 55
Intelligence: 40
Agility: 40

Behavior List:

- Attack
- Fireball Wave (Fire attack on all opponents, base damage: 12)
- Great Fireball (Fire attack on one opponent, base damage: 25)
- Great Fireball (Fire attack on one opponent, base damage: 25)
- Attack

Recommended level is 6, and our current level is somewhere around 2~3. Good shit. Well, I'm sure it'll be fine. It's fine. This is fine.



We start out with our usual strategy of "use a lot of spells to do a lot of damage". Not complicated, but hey, it's a strategy.



This guy's regular attacks do about half of Valnar's or Alaine's HP in damage - Asgar can deal a bit better, but still, Alaine is on constant healing duty to fix whatever damage the Kobold caused in the round.



I accidentially heal Valnar, who is at full health, instead of Alaine, who had taken the hit in the previous round, and Alaine actually gets attacked again, leaving her at 1 HP. If she dies, this fight is over, because without healing, we're fucked.



We eventually get to the point where I have to use regular attacks with Valnar, since he ran out of BP and the Kobold didn't have anything left to drain, which would have been an issue.



Thankfully, the Kobold goes down on the next attack. Still, that was rough. If he had more HP, I'd have been fucked - or, well, I'd just have to have burned some items.



♪ BGM: Feeding After Midnight - h-figment.mid ♫

Hehe, I think the trident might fit!
Looks good!
Trident obtained!

Alright, let's head back to that secret door thing.





And when we head inside...



...hm. Looks like a teleporter of sorts. Well, only one way to find out! We step inside, and...



♪ BGM: Mesdor - cairiel.mid ♫

Nice here.
It's just missing the fluffy little bunnies with the pink little ribbons, right?
Spare me your sarcasm, Asgar. Let's look for the thief instead.

We landed in some sort of small antechamber area type thing. If we exit it...



...we end up behind a waterfall!



Our goal is in the bottom left corner, but of course we need to explore for treasure first.



We have these plant things running around...



...they're our primary enemies here, and they're annoying. They have an attack that can inflict Sleep on everybody, which just means free hits for them.



We find this quite useful thing in a chest... or, well, it would be useful if we knew how to use the damn thing, but no, we don't actually know how to use lockpicks yet.



We also find this, which is significantly more useful... and significantly more valuable for selling!



Now, on to the next floor.



Our destination is in the top right corner. There's not a lot of interesting stuff here, though there is one thing.



Through a long secret passage, we can make it to the bottom right, where we have a map! Let's look at that map!



We should improve our skills in map reading...

It's a map. A MAP. How can you not at least look at it? Anyway, much like the recipes, we need to get something before we can read these maps.



On to the next floor!



Not a lot going on here, to be honest. We appear at the top right, and we can only go down, which leads to...



...Mesdor! Quelle surprise! But when we try to head into town, we run into an issue.



Damn it! Lots of guards!
But the thief must have hidden around here somewhere.
Any suggestions what we're supposed to do now?
Damn Jayna! If she hadn't taken all my powers away, I would be able to make short work of these guys easily! Damn it...
Jayna isn't at fault, though, but those weird Shadow Wraiths.
Hrmpf...
Jayna... what are you doing?

And that'll be it for this part, because next time, we're cutting back to seeing what Nyria has been up to! I'm sure she's doing just fine! Well, actually, next time, it'll be another installment of I Go Through All The Shit You Can Do With RPG Maker 2003 And Regret It More Every Single Time I Do It, or Behind The Fangs, for short.