Part 42: Day 53, Or'es Tash'n, Defense (Defeat)

Of course not! Whaddayer think I am, a bleedin' Kremlin'? It's called a "hard c", ya git!


Well at least some'o youze iz still Orkz. Dere was never any choice, really. I ain't no democratic-like Tau. Naw, dem greyskins got the wrong idea about War Councils. My way of thinkin' is dis: yer my council, and I'll tell yer all what we're gonna do. We're gonna zog it all'n head straight fer dere greyskin boss! Heh heh heh.


Alright, Boyz, roight up da middle!
The Orkz! Stop them!
Heh, I can see youze up dere.


Pathetic. Dem Stealth Boyz is tryern ta get da drop on us. I'll mark'em, you shoot'em!
Sure, boss.








More ground troops, boss. We'ze gettin' close to some'o dere buildings.


Oi, boss! We'ze trained up a whole buncha Shoota Boyz and Choppa Boyz at da base. Sendin'em your way!






Looks like we found some resistance. Knock it all down!
Has nobody seen O'Kais? We're in serious trouble here!






Fall back! Leave the outpost, we can't hold this position!
Hmm, it's too easy. Maybe I shouldn't'a sent da greyskin, O'Kais, all'o dem vidya games.


Come on, we can stop them!
Fall back, it isn't worth it! Regroup around the Ethereal.


More Boyz headin' yer way, Boss. It's a regular Waaaaagh!! up in here.








Oh look, it's da baby Squiggoth. Wotsyer name? Giggorly, or sumat stupid like that? Guess 'e's back fer anuvver round.


Oops! I win again, heh heh!


Welp, we're half way dere. Anyfing to report?


Dey're tryin' ta use more tanks'n stuff. S'not workin'.




Dey blow up real good.


Base is under attack, Boss, but it's nothing. We'ze got tanks of our own now. I'll send'em yer way.


Nah, don't bother. We're almost dere. We'll be done in a few minutes or so.


Dis is it, Boyz! 'Ead on up dere and get me da head oh dat greyskin, On'el or whatever his name is.


Nobody ever found O'Kais, did they?
Nope.
Well fuck.








It's a beautiful sight, all o'dem Orkz mowin' down dem greyskinz. Does me 'eart proud.


O'Kais, where in my fucking name are you?! O-Orkz? Ahhh, s-surrender or face the wrath of the Tau guns!


You'll never defeat the Greater Good!


Whether or not that's true, "never" is an awful long time. I'm more of'an 'ere'n now kinda Ork and in dis moment, I can at least make sure to remove yer soddin' head from yer body. You see, I really want ter add it to da end of me pointy stick!


Ahhhhh, O'Kaieeeeeeee--


F-for the--


--Greater. Good...


Hey, hey! Have no fear, O'Kais is here!


Sorry I'm late, you guys. A "Secret Admirer" sent me copies of the new Age of Empires II expansion packs. Did you know there are new Age of Empires II expansion packs? I thought with The Conquerors expansion that that was it, but hell no. Two. Two fucking new expansion packs. They dropped one in 2013 and another one last year. My god. I just couldn't believe it. Copies were gifted to me and I've been caught up ever since. Heh. Well, I'm here now, what did I miss?





Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--


Uh, Aun'el is dead. We, uh--I fucked up. Let's, uh, get out of here.


Everyone. Everyone evacuate. This is--*sigh*--this is so embarrassing.


We'll take Aun'el back to Tau for burial.



























Aaaaand that's what really happened during the Dark Crusade. Gorgutz got bored and went on to cause trouble at Kaurava, I took the Tau back home, and every other faction was dead or defeated. I mean, yeah, the Blood Ravens like to go on and on about how they won. I think they're even starting to believe it themselves. You trust everything the Blood Ravens say, though? Thule didn't lose his eye to a Necron, that's for sure. No, in the end, Kronus was just kinda left alone. Neither the Tau nor the Imperium regained total control of it. It's just kinda been forgotten. Every side of the Dark Crusade considered the campaign a wash but each one claims it a victory for their side. For all we know, the Tyranids have swooped in and taken control over it.
Oh well. What's done is done. Thanks, War Council. It was good while it lasted. Now I go, my home planet needs me.