Warcraft II Part #8 - Mission 8: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Juggernaut

Part 8: Mission 8: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Juggernaut

Act 3: Quel'Thalas

Episode 8: The Runestone at Caer Darrow or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Juggernaut

: No something isn't right here. Something the necrolytes never considered...

: Do you think that the runestone could aid us?

: If it is truly filled with the arcane power of the elves as we suspect...

: ...then perhaps we could use them for the research.

: But how will we get access to them? They're located deep in Quel'Thalas.

: It's practically suicide.

Later...

: NECKSMASHER!

: I have the feeling that I'm the butt of some terrible joke.

: I have heard your silent prayers to the dark gods-

: I think that's what I do when I get drunk and start yelling.

: -and I can help you fulfill your wishes.

: I'm flattered that you're being as vague as possible, buddy, but we're trying to win a war here and I-

: I can bring him back.

Later, at the edge of Darrowmere Lake...

: We're striking against the elves? What is Warchief Doomhammer thinking? The elves are ready to pull out of this war! I don't think we want to give them a reason to keep fighting.

: Speak fa' yaself, Bloodbelly! Any chance ta' collect more ears fa' ma' collection.

: Enough chatter! We're just following Doomhammer's orders. Yes... his orders. Anyway, the humans have a castle set up here, and it's our job to make sure it no longer stands.

: I suppose it's my job to point out how relatively harmless their position is. It's in the middle of a lake on the other side of the war. It doesn't even have any vital supplies!

: It might. In either case, we follow... Doomhammer's... orders. I want scouts and I want them now.

: Gotcha, mon.

: No! I mean, no. No. Send some of the ogres. They're eating too much anyway.

: 'Ey, wats wrong wit' da Chief?

: Let it go, Mag'fon.

: Preliminary scouting reports are coming in, Chieftain.

: By the many moons of the Blackrock Clan! How much gold do these humans have!?

: Did you just shout about butts?

: How many peons did we lose with all the collapsing goldmines of the First War? And here the humans were sitting atop very literal goldmines!

: Seems that there isn't much of a naval force here, either.

: 'Ay, I could smash dat apart wit' a rowboat!

: However...

: Wat's all 'dis bad mojo!?

: ...the humans have quite a solid set of defenses. It seems we'll need something bigger to punch through such opposition. Something that I may have asked the goblins to pull together...

: It's... beautiful.

: Chieftain, it's just a recreation of an idea I saw at-

: Death boat? No, I've used that. Death... frigate? Oh, to the Nether with it. It's mine!

: Wait, Chieftain! You can't just go storming out onto the open sea without protection.

: Uh, maybe you didn't see the size of these guns, but I really don't need protection.

: Chief, at least wait fa' me ta get me own, ya?

: Grgh... fine. Let's get those mines under control. Send out your men, Bloodgut.

: We'll need to clear the surrounding woods before we can begin any construction however. There simply isn't enough room.

: Oh, yay, Bloodgut is treating us to another fine display of his "rules" and "boring-itude."

It's true that to get the natural expansion area for your base you need to clear away many of the trees to put anything secure down. after playing WC: O&H so much, it's quite a joy to be able to toss down a lumber mill and clear cut the forest.

: This is taking forever.

: Finally!

: It didn't take that long, Chieftain. Besides, it will give us a good leg up on the human forces.

: Yes, let's see that scouting report again...

: Wat's da ting wit all da shinin' glass, mon?

: Sacrificial altar, I'm sure. Bloodgut, it doesn't look like we're ahead. I demand more gold! I would like to bathe in the gold like some sort of power-mad chieftain from another world!

: Must I really point out the obvious here?

: Oh, good. A house. Things are really looking up now. Just one question...

: Chieftain?

: WHERE ARE MY DEATH FRIGATES!?

: Our men have already begun constructing oil platforms. I feel that the juggernauts-

: Death warships.

: ...death warships... will be essential in our conquest of Caer Darrow.

: Well, at least the humans haven't... NETHER DAMN IT.

: Dey persistent, ain't dey, Chief?

: They're being huge jerks is what "dey" are! OGRES!

: Eatin' da whole horses, mon. Da's messed up.

: I swear that your accent changes every time you open your mouth.

: I've also laid out plans for an expansion to our base. If we use this refinery as a hub for our ships-

: Death galleys.

: ...ugh.... death galleys... then we could hold our main base while actively pushing out against the castle.

: Bloodgut, let me handle the strategy. I am the chieftain that single-handedly won the First War after all.

: ...

: Anyway, with that up, we may be able to mass produce juggernau-

: Death man-o-wars.

: Death man-o-wa-

: No, wait! Death flagships!

: Death kayaks?

Look at the amount of oil that a single juggernaut takes to create. It's pretty much essential that you have a good infrastructure up before you can even think about making these guys.

: Great, great... now I want more of these ogres educated on proper orc behavior!

: Breakin' arms an' gougin' eyes, mon?

: No, no... wait. Yes. Yes, exactly.

: We've also got the goblins eagerly working on bigger cannons for our death... things.

: We have goblins? Oooh! Can I see one?

: Wow. Freaky.

: And let's get some farms up over there! Put that new fertile land to good use.

: Chieftain? So soon after the attacks? What about some towers to watch for nearby assaults?

: We have ogres for that. Besides, what human would be dumb enough to attack the same place twice after the first failed so horribly?

: Then if we're so secure, may I take the time to begin construction of a third base? Our initial gold mine seems to be drying up already.

: Ugh, economics, economics...

: You were the one who wanted more gold!

: Come on, Maggy, let's blow this mutton shank stand.

: Chief, you sure dis be safe, mon?

: My poor, stupid troll friend/underling. Everything is safe with this physical incarnation of death nearby.

KA-BOOOOOOM!

: Wat was tha', mon!? We takin' fire! Help, mon! HELP!

: What the Nether indeed... I can't see what hit you. Someone send off a flare for the goblins! I need their vantage point to see what's going on.

: Someting down dere, mon. Baaaad mojo!

: Eh, not that I really care. Let's blow it up!

Gnomish submarines (and their Horde counterpart) are invisible. The only way to see them is with aerial units, towers, or other submersible units. They also hit fairly hard, making them a good harassing unit that can inflict some damage and get out quickly. Reapers are so imba.

: Problem solved, as always, by blowing the problem up.

Meanwhile, back at base...

: Chieftain? Chieftain! Uh... men! Hurry, load up that tower!

: 'Ey, mon! Joo wanna dance, humans?

: This got out of control very quickly.

: Uh... Victory?

: How could you two leave without setting up any defenses!?

: 'Ey, mon. It's jus' me. Chief ain't here.

: Then you mean he's...?

: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

: These things are the best ever. I'm going to crush every defense these humans can muster!

Have I mentioned that the ogre juggernauts are amazing for clearing a landing zone?

: Am I shooting flaming cannonballs? I love goblins! LOVE THEM.

: Clear!

: Chief, mon. Watchoo doin' out here?

: Uh, my job?

: Chief! It's dangerous! Wat if one o' dem invisbile ships hit joo? We need joo alive, mon.

: Pfft. Like these things can even sink.

: Ah. Well.

: 'Sides, more o' da humans be tryin' to attack da base.

: Let Vilefeast take care of it.

: Chief?

: ...Bloodgut. I meant Bloodgut.

: ...I'll take care o' it, Chief.

Anyone remember who wins these fights?

Damn straight.

: Where did Mag'fon go? I, uh, might need some help here...

: Oh, well, I'll be damned. Never mind.

I love these things.

: I'm sending in some ground forces, Chieftain. Hopefully we can take the castle with just this.

: A handful of ogres? What can they do?

: Bloodgut, you are literally forcing me to watch a snuff film take place in front of my eyes.

: Netherspit! Look at 'em go!

It pays to upgrade your units.

: Wait a minute. something isn't right here.

: It seems that these humans are capable of using magicks much like the clerics of the First War. I suggest we-

: Ahem... magic.

: Oh, great. More of these stinging gnats.

: I have to say that the goblins have proven themselves useful today. I don't know why everyone has been saying that they're as intelligent as a sack of stones.

: Now then, with that out of the way. I suggest we organize another landing party. Those ogres are pretty good at punching humans until they stop being humans and start being spreadable jelly.

: I've already begun preparations, Chieftain.

: Good, let's get them loaded up and onto that island. I want that runestone recovered as quickly as possible!

: Da wat, Chief?

: Just get in the boat!

: This is going to be good.

: Alright men, this is our target: Caer Darrow. After my attacks, it shouldn't stand long. Get in, smash the place up, and if you see any strange, glowing, elven artifacts... don't touch. It could be poisonous.