Part 41: The Little Green Men Versus the Dragonqueen

The Little Green Men Versus the Dragonqueen

Orc Briefing
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Human Briefing
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I know what you're all thinking: "Surely, dearest Azzur, I have come to understand the magically returning hammers, exploding sheep, and modern-day submersibles that reside in the land of Azeroth. What I don't understand, fair gentleman, is how the hell a band of orcs were able to subdue and coerce the dragons into joining their Horde." For you, then, I have a tale. It begins long ago, and its implications are still being seen today.

I'm going to start off with an old image. Hell, one of my favorite images.



Elven magic. The source of everything wrong in Azeroth. However, sometimes things aren't traced back to elven magic! I know, it's crazy! For instance...



Old Gods! Yes, these bastards have got their dirty little tentacles into anything evil nowadays. Of course, that doesn't exactly answer the question of how the orcs got a hold of the dragons.

Let's start with this smooth-ass motha'fucka' known as Neltharion. Now, there's alot to talk about with this guy. But, again, this isn't the place to talk about it (spoilers and all that). Neltharion is the leader of the black dragonflight. Oh, yes, he was a dragon. Did I not mention that?

Okay, so back before the War of the Ancients (Sargeras lusting after that sweet elven magic), Neltharion had a device created known as the Demon Soul (or Dragon Soul, if you're old school like me) that would give him power over the other dragonflights. Of course, if they destroyed it... well, he didn't want that. So when the Burning Legion came, he used the opportunity to empower the Demon Soul by having each dragonflight give up a portion of their power to the artifact. Of course, Neltharion himself didn't give away any of his power. He then used the Demon Soul to wreck everyone's shit.

Can you imagine how silly everyone had to feel then? Oh, man, egg on our faces. We totally just gave him the power to destroy the world. Our bad.

But today's story is not about the Demon Soul, so I'll save us some time. The Demon Soul changes hands a few times and eventually was hidden away and enchanted so that Neltharion could never use it again. Of course, Neltharion sends someone else to go get it. You don't need a lawyer to see a loophole this big. The people he sends to go it are...

The orcs! Not just any orcs, but the Dragonmaw orcs, which is something of a coincidence. The Dragonmaw then do what any normal invading force would do with UNTOLD GODLY POWER and walk right into the lair of Dragonqueen Alexstrasza (leader of the red dragonflight) and capture her. They then use the helpless dragon to produce off-spring for the war, threatening to destroy her clutch if they betray her. Being the aspect of life itself, having her children killed would have caused her such pain that she could do nothing else but go along with the plot. Metzen's reply was a casual shrug as he said, "Eh, good enough."

Now what does this have to do with the aforementioned Old Gods? Flowchart!




Oh, snap! Yes, that's right, Neltharion was being driven insane by the Old Gods the whole time! He wasn't really evil, it was just the evil Old Gods up to their tricks! I swear, Blizzard doesn't want anyone to fall from grace of their own accord.