Part 21: Forward Onto Glory

Chapter 14: Forward Onto Glory



“Doing a normal headcount of goblins is impossible, since they all look the same, and you can’t order them to march in line to count them. Getting their numbers through indirect means, like measuring the volume of fecal matter generated per settlement, is also quite the ardous task. With that in mind, we determined that goblins are not only deemed completely expendable by King Lich V, but are also in ample supply”

“We also reason that goblin shamans are, in essence, goblins and thus expendable. So we have teams hunting for them, to capture and bring aboard the ships. Here, we have modified the rocks ships naturally fire”

“As you can observe, these are fine iron chains attached to it and a hole drilled at the back of the rock. What we do is fill the rock with a certain mixture of beans, prunes and an assortment of other, usually rotting, food stuffs. The goblin shaman is brought in and presented with the “feast”. Once he starts eating, we lock him in chains. Once the beast has finished eating, digestion starts, filling his gun with potent flatulence and fecal matter. Once the rock is fire and the goblin splatters on impact, the smell can be quite deadly”

“That is as fascinating as it is horrible”

“Yes, you can’t imagine the difficulty of timing feeding and firing. We had a lot of early misfires when shaman released flatulence in flight, altering the course of the round quite considerably. Oh the troubles we went through solving that problem…”



One of the bigger problems with the goblin garrison is that goblins never understood why one “should not kick someone while they’re down”. When the humans explained it, goblins took it the other way: if someone is down, this means they’re weaker, which means they’re easier to kick. As such, they started incorporating it into their battle drills.

“Har har, we won’t ever be beat. Unless we’re down”.



“You know what’s the biggest problem with resurrection?”

“Please enlighten me, m’lord”

“The enchantments, Avgustus, the encantments. They don’t carry on after deaths and I have to recast all of them. And it takes away from the time I could spend casting other, more useful spells”



“This would almost be useful, if any of those incompetents had managed to research anything worth dispelling”



Flying serpents, still thralls to King Lich V, were sent to explore the lands of Sol de Torvega. Unlike Miralbus the Hat, this beastly great mage was very fond of using purification spells to get rid of Dremer contamination. Presumably, this meant that his subjects were doing much better… or would be doing better, if not for desert that the realm was based in.





"Those of us who have dedicated their lives to serving the goddess of the Sun deserve nothing but praise and admiration. I know perfectly well from my own experience how painful the flame's touch can be, and how torturous its bright light. A werewolf must possess truly inhuman courage and resolution to pass the goddess' test and become a Wolf of Helia. Wolves of Helia are creatures of a transcendental order. The price for losing all humanity seems negligible in comparison to their newly obtained powers."
(From "Howling at the Sun", an article by the noble werewolf Wolfus de Crunch.)

There werewolves of the garrison had spent much time contemplating the darkness to their west. Dremers and anchors, ghosts and ogres. Great power would be needed to defeat such blights. Great power… like the one emanating from the temple of Helia.

Nobody know what happened once the werewolves entered the sun-basked temple. Terrible howls could be heard and bright lights flashed every night. Finally, after days and days had past, they emerged from the pyramid. Imperceptibly changed, clad in armor of ancient Helian design, carrying strange halberds, they descended the grand stairs.

They said only one thing to the gathered masses:

“Praise the Sun!”

And so Wolves of Helia departed for war.



“My lord, I bring news of that the Temple of Krolm has been complet…”

At that moment, a mighty kick swung the door open and in marched a company of barbarians.





"Blade masters claim they are the descendants of the Barbarians of antiquity. -- And judging by their look and manner, I shan't question it. But seeing them in battle, Your Majesty, why 'tis a thing of wonder. You'd be hard pressed to find even a master chef who could slice with such beauty and precision!"
(From His Majesty's Advisor's address speech)

“My lohd, you hav pleazd ze God ov Wrath, ze Kreator ov Man. You hav earnt his faeva. Ve are now yooz to kommand”

“_{What is that damnable accent?}”

“_{I have no idea, my liege, but you best sent them on their way, to crump someone before they get bored}”



“YOU HAVE BUILD TEMPLES TO MY SIBLING AGRELA AND KROLM THE FATHER OF ALL. DAUROS DEMANDS A TEMPLE”

“Ouch, my head is still ringing”

“BUILD A TEMPLE TO ME AND I WILL GRANT YOU MY PALADINS. THEIR STRENGTH WILL BE NEEDED IN YOUR INVASION”

“I think your voice loosened a rock in my tower and squashed a goblin family”

“GOOD. GRUM-GOG IS A PARASITE AND A GIT, AND SO ARE HIS PEOPLES”

_{“A git?”}



Wolves of Helia were just tearing through the countryside, killing ogres left and right in preparation to assault the last anchor needed for the teleportation. They hacked and cleaved, and hacked, and cleaved, until hills ran red and the crew of Arethi sky ship filed complaints of “stealing kills”.



King Lich looked through the telescope down into the rift:

“Yep, that’s a demon”

“See, my lord? Constructing this workshop was a great idea. We can do all sorts of neat things here!”

“First, we grab an imp with this special imp grabbing hook. This saves times and material needed to actually summon them from whatever evil place they’re in”

“Then, we place them in this Nevril holding pen. Here, we can do whatever we want. Autopsy revealed that imps internals are pure evil, for example. Really nothing there to harvest: if you cut off a chunk, it evaporates in a puff of pure malice and a lab assistant gets punched under unclear circumstances”

“The more promising research gets done in this arena. We’re enlisting all sorts of hedge mages and ditch sorcerers to test effects of magic on imps, and the effects of testing magic on imps on the emotional wellbeing of testing crew.”

“So far we have discovered nothing out of the ordinary. Unlike the demons who stalk a man’s mind and heart, the more corporeal ones are less of a threat. Sure, they can burn down barns, but a tainted king can get a lot more barns burned. Also, the corporeal ones don’t need a pure heart or clarity of soul to defeat. Just whack them with a sword or a spell enough times, and they’ll get send back”

“Fascinating”

“Oh yes! Now, if you have time, there’s one imp we managed to catch several times and it appears these rapid, repeated ‘banishments’ that happened here have had a sort of detrimental effect on what little psyche he had. Today, we have one of your torturer lycanthropes in the arena. Their spiritual claws cut into the core matter of the demon and we expect this to be quite the show. Care to attend?”



“Ah, if only I could cast more spells or had the strategic thinking to find this one useful…”



“Now that is a very good gift from our favorite god and creator”

“How so, my lord?”

“Unlike most other spells, this actually lets us reverse the damage done by exploding Dremer gates. Since we have been hearing about those explosions quite a lot, I’d wager that the lands we see are the least tainted, while rest has already been warped beyond any sane means”

“This spell channels Krolms divine rage and, well, punches the land back into its original condition. There’s really… really no better explanation”



With most sea serpents eliminated by the flying armada and spellcasting ability tied up with resurrecting elites fallen in defense of King Rrat’s realm, werewolves engaged in the largest fleet action to date. Many new corgs were commissioned and goblin crews pressganged do facilitate the transfer of troops for the assault on the last piece of the anchor puzzle.

Snoop-Jim’s, having inherited the broom from the flying healer, didn’t really need a ship.

“Yo, dis homie is traveling in style, weredawgs. Wish my homies and hoodrats could see it”



“Imma gonna show dem Dremma honkies how to attack da Rratz. Imma gonna show dem good”

“I curse ya, Dremma, I curse ya smelly hide! Ya weak, Dremma, nothin’ but a punk as bitch poser! Imma gonna get you! Imma gonna beat yo ass, and you gonna shit yoself, and I will fuck you up!”



And so did the invasion commence. Ships disgorged werewolves and they bounded off to the hills. Quickly did they race ahead, fleet of foot and quicksilver in motion.

It wasn’t long before they reached the Dremer anchor, cutting down a single wounded ogre that had escaped the wrath of their Helia worshipping brethren. The ghost, killer of many of their number, was the only obstacle left.

And spirit claws rending ghost matter as easily as it does imp flesh, the spiteful mage was finally laid to rest, even if he didn't go quietly.

With the ghost gone, the principal defenses of the anchor were gone and Dremer structure was torn apart in an orgy of werewolf fury. The attackers were drenched in ichor and bile, foul pieces of otherworldly flesh were scattered everywhere. But the core was recovered.

And crushing it in his dead hand, King Lich V got the last bit of the puzzle. The spell that would whisk his forces to the Dremer world was done, he only needed to assemble his forces and launch the invasion.



Five companies of veteran werewolves and a company each of Wolves of Helia and Paladins of Life. Ardania had not seen such mustering of forces in a long time. But would they be enough to bring down the strength of Dremers?

King Lich V concentrated. The mad formulas of the spell danced in his head. Maddening sounds pervaded the chamber of casting. Red lights started dancing and swirling around the assembled troops. Dancing and swirling, dancing and swirling dancing and swirlingdancgingand…



The sky was of the red most foul and the land was all putrid crimson flesh. Horrible stench hung in the air, growing worse near what passed for lakes.

The forces had arrived in close order and were ready to act.

“Werewolves, Helians and Paladins of the Dremer Expeditionary Force! You have embarked upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you.

The hopes and prayers of free people everywhere march with you.

In company with our brave allies and brethren on other planes, you will bring about the destruction of the Dremargor, the elimination of Dremer terror over the embattled peoples of Ardania, and security for ourselves in a free world!”

The invasion had begun.