White Knight Chronicles I & II Part #60

Part 60: Loose Ends (Part 2)

CUTSCENE: Had To Happen Eventually…

So back with the battle against Grazel…

Sephirnot backhands a wall of fire at Caesar and Yulie, and sends them both flying across the plain again.

Caesar: Urgh!

Caesar: UUH!!

Yeah. Shit. Things aren’t looking too good for Yulie and Caesar if they’re down in the dirt and have been forced back to human form.

Caesar: This is nuts…

What’s going on? Why are they suddenly sucking now?

This makes no sense. There’s no reason for it. They were doing so well before. It just doesn’t—

Oh. Wait. Leonard’s back in the plot again.

Yulie: Leonard?

Yep. Dipshit walks back into party and suddenly that -10 Competence score is back in play, so everyone starts sucking again.

Caesar: Hey! You feel up to this?

Leonard: Yeah, I’m ready now.

Grazel: Oh good, glad you could join us, Leonard.

Leonard: Grazel.

Grazel: I must say, you look like hell.

I like this line. It’s one of the rare moments in the duology where Grazel has something approaching a personality that isn’t “smug power mad asswipe”.

Grazel: You really intend to challenge me in that condition?

Grazel: Heh.

Grazel: Your funeral.

Leonard: Not this time.

And he smirks tellingly because he has what he thinks is an ace up his sleeve.

Leonard: Verto!

Pictured: What’s left of Level-5’s “Transformation Sequence Budget”

Leonard: Come forth, Falcyos, holy blade!

And then nothing happened.

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “The White Knight” (Disc 1, Track 13)

A massive magic circle appears in the sky, and if you look closely, you can make out that the sigil inside the mandala is a combination of the three allied states’ emblems.

The rings descend around the White Knight in a manner that once again makes me thing I’m about to see the fucker digivolve or something.

Out of the ether comes a big golden glowing phallus.

Yes, thanks to Plot Bullshit Magic, Falcyos has turned into a giant-sized Incorruptus weapon... Because we need to have at least one battle with the White Knight in this game to justify actually calling it White Knight Chronicles instead of Everything We Can Think Of Other Than The White Knight Chronicles.

Grazel: What?

No, more like:

I will give them this, Falcyos looks like a very interesting weapon. You can tell Level-5 really splurged on this one. They cut eight whole scenes were the Avatar talks to someone other than Framboise just to scrape together enough cash to make this thing.

Leonard: Bring it on, Grazel!

So something funny happens right at the start of the battle. You don’t start the fight with Falcyos equipped, you enter it with whatever weapon you had equipped when Dipshit Von Tripintoawoodchipperplease left the party, which in this case was Talion.

It’s a blink-and-you-miss-it event, but I made sure to capture it, because I know how much you all love making fun of how rough around the edges this game is.

So Talion simply blinks out of existence, leaving the White Knight unarmed for a split second.

And then Falcyos appears in its place. It happens rather fast, but not fast enough for it to be completely unnoticeable.

I have no idea what happens if you mod Falcyos into your equipment bag before this battle and go into it with it equipped. Maybe your PS3 catches fire? I dunno.

Grazel: You’re just another thorn in my side!

Leonard: Time to settle the score.

So what you (probably) immediately notice is that on the command bar we’ve got a brand new skill to try out: +Wildfire. Falcyos also has all of Talion’s skills too.

Now, about the name Falcyos: while Talion is in fact a real word, Falcyos is not. It’s made up fantasy-sounding gibberish. Googling “Falcyos” returns his linking to pertaining to the sword from this game itself, and not much else.

So I take a swing at the Sun King with the most basic sword attack to start things off. Okay, we’re pulling triple digit damage again. That’s a good sign.

And by that I mean the Sun King has been nerfed back to a normal boss status this time around—Falcyos is not THAT powerful. Hell, it’s not even the strongest Knight sword in the game…

Grazel gets his share of hits in too, though the damage is reversed this time. Now he’s the one only doing double digits.

So here’s how lazy Level-5 is…

When you use +Divine Blace, Talion’s signature attack, the blade is coated in a swirl of blue energy that mimics the shape of the sword… Mimics the shape of Talion, I mean. And its animation doesn’t change when you get Falcyos, so you get goofy screenshots like this, were Falcyos projects Talion’s aura to launch the attack.

But I’m not complaining THAT much, because it knocks an eighth of Grazel’s health off in hit.

I also use +Wildfire for the first time here. But because of the game’s shitty combat camera, you don’t get to see much of it.

Basically the White Knight holds Falcyos aloft, He-Man style, and screams “I HAVE THE POWER!” whilst purple lighting charges it up.

Then it cleaves whatever its targeting with it in two.

Not quite as strong as +Divine Blade was, but it’s still leaps and bounds better than what Caesar and Yulie were doing against it.

I also have to heal up my MP.

And HP. Though again I’m in no real danger of losing this fight here. This is just a gravy battle, actually. This is you reward for toughing out the Van Haven Waste and the wyverns, and Past Pyredaemos and SarvaiLedoGias: the game lets you beat the shit out of Grazel for a few minutes with a new toy for the White Knight that’s going to lose its plot relevance the second this battle is finished.

I am not fucking kidding, either.

Grazel: Why?! My powers have waned!

Leonard: This is the part where you LOSE, Grazel!

So have we tweaked onto the strategy for this fight?

Spam +Divine Blade.

Grazel: Impossible!

The Sun King does its twin swords attack once again, though this time it’s a little clearer for you all to see.

I’m not gonna lie; I kind of want Grazel to win here.

But alas, Leonard pulls out the “win.”

CUTSCENE: The Final Challenge

Grazel staggers back in defeat, proving rather definitively that in giant mecha games/animes, the most sure-fire strategy for defeat you can come up with is to paint your mech solid gold. You’re just asking for trouble doing that. It’s like buying a bright red sports car; you’re just asking for birds to shit on.

Grazel: That sword!

Grazel: My armour is supposed to be indestructible!

Kara: That’s enough!

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Scar” (Disc 2, Track 13)

Caesar: Uh!

Grazel: Kara!? I thought… I thought you were dead.

Kara: Yeah, thanks for that one, asshole.

Grazel: Uuuuh, yeeeeah. Look, Shapur’s not that good at improvising when I’m not around. So, ah… Not my fault?

Kara: When are you going to realize you’ve been tricked brother!

Grazel: Hah! Listen to you.

Grazel: Come back from the dead to give me a lecture?

And that right there is the moment she realises that there’s just no helping this dumb prick.

Kara: Please, Setti.

Setti’s dead, girl. Why do people in this game not seem to get that?

Grazel: Don’t you DARE call me by that name!

Grazel: I am Grazel!

Grazel: Emperor of Yshrenia!

Well, looks like Kara’s dead… again.

Oh, fuck me. Leonard’s going to try to make the save but he’ll probably end up cutting Kara in half on the upswing because Fate mercilessly despises Kara and her happiness.

Grazel: Rrrrr!

Leonard: UAAAAAAAAH!!!

So Leonard winds up to land the deathblow on the Sun King with Falcyos…

Okay now, shitturd, let’s put that Sun King-Slaying Sword to some good use now, aaaaaand—

Grazel leaps out of the way, completely unharmed.

Because Leonard is a fuck up. And he can’t give chase because he has the only one of the five Knights that can’t fly. Because the White Knight sucks too.

Grazel catches himself with a magic bullshit barrier.

Grazel: Damn you all!

Grazel: Leonard!

Grazel: I’ll be waiting on Redhorn Isle.

Grazel: Then we’ll finish this, once and for all!

Grazel: Shapur! We’re leaving!

Shapur: Yes, my lord.

And then the monoship just books it out of there.

And because we have Leonard temporarily back in the party, his incompetence bleeds over into the other characters again, so Yulie is unable to re-transform into the Moon Maiden and shoot the monoship down with one of her arrows.

Our ~~hero~~, ladies and gentlemen, making the face all champions make post-victory, the agonizing belly cramp face.

I’ve had more productive bowel movements than this.

And so as the party waves good bye to Grazel, and Leonard limps home supported by the 90 lb. girl he friendzone’d so hard he gave her whiplash, we also bid a fond farewell to Falcyos’s relevance to the plot of White Knight Chronicles II. It will never be referenced again, and, just like with Talion, now that Leonard fucked up destroying the Sun King with it, it has lost its Knight-slaying power all together.

The good news is that now the Dragon Knight and Moon Maiden can do proper damage to the Sun King, so we don’t even have to worry about our resident blackhole of a not-protagonist any more period.

…Well, um… Except for… Well… That one battle. THAT battle. That culmination of braindead character fuckery and terrible gameplay planning.

THAT battle.

RIP Falcyos: Image 198 – Image 372

CUTSCENE: Reunited

And it feels so good.

Later that night, Kara stands in front of the fountain in the Balandor Castle gardens, back in her normal attire for the first time in a solid year, and contemplates her place in the world now that she’s officially alive again.

All the while Caesar anxiously watches her.

He finally works up the courage to go and actually talk to her.

God, and I thought her reunion with Miu was going to be awkward…

Caesar: Kara.

Kara: Hmm?

Caesar: You’re alive.

Kara: Hmph.

Kara: Who are you?

Caesar: Who am…

Caesar: Kara! It’s me, Caesar.

Caesar: Oh no. You’ve lost your memory!

Kara: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Kara: You’re so gullible.

Kara: How could I forget you, dummy?

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Out-Of-Reach Feelings” (Disc 2, Track 8)

Caesar: Dummy…

Caesar: Hey, come on.

Kara: Sorry. I wish you could have seen your face just now.

Kara: You know, I really did die.

Kara: But then, as I wandered through the darkness…

Kara: I heard a voice.

Caesar: Really?

Kara: Yes. And do you know what the voice said? “You still have a role to play, and you must return to play it.”

Kara: “You’re still under contract.”

Kara: And when I woke up, I was in Faria with Father Yggdra.

So there you go. That’s the explanation you’re getting for why Kara came down with a case of the not-deads. Father Yggdra just randomly said, “lol, no, you’re alive again.” And transported her body to Faria for reasons.

Now, if you’re thinking that Kara’s bullshit resurrection seems like an out of left field curve ball that probably wasn’t supposed to happen in the original draft of White Knight Chronicles II, that’s because... it is! According to sketches and notes from the White Knight Chronicles Office Art Book, Scardigne was originally supposed to be a 100% original, 100% male character complete with his own Farian-flared Incorruptus, referred to in the book as the “God of War,” (seen at the end of this update) which you would retrieve from a place known as Ences Temple, which itself was also dummied out of the game. Why Kara was swapped out, to this day I still have no idea, nor do get why she couldn’t have the God of War herself, seeing as how she took everything else associated with Scardigne, other than it was an idea that came about at a later stage in the duology’s development and was axed because it countermanded the game lore’s “Five Knights and only five Knights” commandment.

Still, even when returning from the cold abyss of oblivion to the warmth and light of life, Kara still manages to get screwed over.

Not that that really matters one way or another, because let’s remember: KARA’S BACK!

Kara: To keep myself hidden from Ledom, I donned a mask and became “General Scardigne” of Faria, until the time was right.

Caesar: Huh.

Caesar: Now I get it.

Kara: The rest you already know.

Kara: Caesar… I made some wrong choices.

Kara: I promise, I won’t make any more.

Caesar: Boy, do I gotta give Father Yggdra a tree hug.

Caesar: Seriously. He brought you back to me.

Kara: Caesar.

Caesar: Okay.

Caesar: Don’t make me… get any mushier than that.

Kara: Will do.

And she edges closer to him.

And they embrace in the moonlight.

Best couple ever.

CUTSCENE: The Counter-Offensive

Cisna: And that is why I have decided to—what the shit are you all wearing?!

Yulie: Funny hats.

Cisna: I was JOKING! Gods, really?! Augh… Take those off. Now. Okay, where was I?

Cisna: We have won a great victory against the Sun King.

Cisna: …Technically.

Cisna: I thank you for your valiant efforts.

Cyrus: The tides have turned. Since we drove them off, the Yshrenian horde has reportedly withdrawn to their stronghold on Redhorn Isle.

Cisna: But Grazel, he has no intention of backing down without a fight.

Cisna: Either we strike, and settle things once and for all as he has demanded… Or face another invasion.

Cisna: And I sure as shit ain’t going through this song and dance a THIRD time now.

Because this game didn’t make enough money to justify a White Knight Chronicles III—HAIOOOOO!

Kara: Grazel’s castle on Redhorn Isle is nigh impregnable. Just making landfall will be a task in itself.

Cisna: Nonetheless, it falls upon us to make the effort. We must bring this age-old war to conclusion. Close this chapter of history.

Cisna: Sir Cyrus, gather all our forces!

Cisna: We will bring to them the full might of Balandor!

Cisna: Ant… boot.

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Recollection” (Disc 1, Track 14)

Miu: Queen Csina, know that Faria fights alongside you.

Miu: I will return home at once, and ready our troops for war.

Oh, sweet, thanks for the pointless visit then, Miu.

Cisna: Thank you, Archduchess Miu.

Cisna: I only grieve that it took so long and such trying circumstances for us to forge this alliance.

Miu: No, I believe this was fate…

Miu: That the two of us achieved your father’s and my grandfather’s dream.

Miu: Stay safe, friend. May Yggdra’s blessings be upon us.

So while Miu and her manservants book it back to Faria, we’ve still got one last dangling plot thread to tie down before we call it quits for this chapter: Shit-For-Brains.