Part 7: Chapter 7

Okay, here we go. Oh, and Mehuyael, this may be the update in which you got stuck.

***




Sort of a dark little forest, isn't it?



No sign of bad guys, though.



Oops, spoke too soon.


- ...release me. There is a key to the handcuffs hidden in the forest. Please go find it.

Well, he's more polite than Val Kilmer.



I'm not sure what these things are, but they like to float around for a while before they look constipated and cast the sucky fire spell.



x2



A chest? But I only went about four screens away. This can't possibly have the key.



Well... okay.



One wasp-filled romp back to a handcuffed swordsman later...

- Oh, fantastic! I'm in your debt. Here, take my necklace. Just my way of saying thanks.

- Hey, I'm all for gay rights and all, but I just don't see how useful that'd... hey... stop giving me that. Stop!

- "You have the necklace."

- Damn involuntary item acceptance!

- "It's made of poor quality glass."

- Gee. Thanks. Really, I don't know what I'd do without this.

- The name's Madmartigan. Remember it. So long.

I'll remember it when I pound you in the face for giving me a cheap little necklace when I saved your scruffy hide.



Vanishment. How do they even have handcuffs in this world, anyway?



Two steps south of Marty reveals yet another chest.



The... what?



Even though it boasts that attack power, it won't actually harm most creatures. It WILL, however, harm those pesky ghosts, wizards, and possibly even the trees from before. Even so, most enemies that can be harmed by this sword are best avoided in the first place, unless you need to regain your MP. In which case, slaying Devil Eye enemies will (VERY) rarely yield the rare MP-restorative drop. Sort of like the pellets you could grab in Mega Man that DO NOT appear at a rate of about once per hour of solid killing. I couldn't even get a screencap of one.



This looks like a nice place.





Wow, the healing animation makes everything look like it's covered in blood.

- I haven't seen you around here before. Are you planning on going to the cave over there?

- Do you ask everyone this, or just the people who look horribly unsuited to the strenuous journey it takes just to get here?

- According to rumor, there is a ghost that protects a treasure and kills anyone that goes near it. It is said that her lover went on a dangerous journey to find the treasure for her and then mysteriously disappeared the night he returned.

So... this 'lover' went and got the treasure, came back, and THEN disappeared? Or did she disappear after he came back? Ugh, headache...



- GAH! You again?!

- What a tragic story. Hey Willow, thanks for helping me out of that jam.

Note that Willow never really tells Madmartigan his name. Marty literally pulls it out of the ether.

- There I was, minding my own business when, all of a sudden Sorsha came charging up and took me prisoner.

I never quite understood why Sorsha ran up to Marty, put him in handcuffs, and left him alone in a dark forest. Something reaaaaally doesn't add up about that.

- Anyway, thanks. You know, you can't go any further without crossing the lake. About the only way you can do that is if you have a wakka seed in your mouth so you can breathe water. Ha.

Has anyone in this world ever heard of a boat? Crossing water is generally what they're good at.

- Of course, the only ones who have wakka seeds are the mythical creatures of the Nail clan.

- I get the feeling I've heard that somewhere before...

Supposed to be white, small,... (sic) sort of like a rabbit with antlers. I've never seen one. Probably just a legend.

This guy lives in a fantasy world populated by giant snake-men, floating killer skulls, and wandering disco zombies who turn people into pigs. But hey! The Nail Clan sounds like a real stretch, huh?!

Goddammit! Fine, I'll go look for that freaky little squirrel from earlier. But I don't expect it'll be easy to-



Oh. That works.

- So we meet again, Willow. Seed of wakka? I have it right here.

- Great. So what do you want me to do for it?

- "You have obtained the seed of wakka."

- For... for free?!

- Take care.



You mean he just gave it to me? Without a quest? Without any sort of hassle?! I... I think I'm going to cry.

Also pictured is Madmartigan's necklace. It does nothing. Seriously, it doesn't do anything.

Back to the inn to heal.


- Madmartigan? Oh yeah, the brave daikini warrior, right? He mumbled something about defeating Bavmorda and left.

No doubt what he mumbled went something like, "Gee, I think I'll go get toasted while that freaky little mutant is defeating Bavmorda."



Almost to the end of the update. Promise.



- ... the other side of the lake. Bavmorda has closed the road that leads to the towers so no one can go near them! There must be some kind of secret there. I'm sure Bavmorda is afraid of it!

In other words...

- Blah blah blah TOWERS blah blah blah BAVMORDA blah blah blah AFRAID OF TOWERS.



...Fuck it, I'm going to get a level up around here with a training montage.



Try to be best
Cause you're only a man
And a man's gotta learn to take it



Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it



History repeats itself
Try and you'll succeed



Never doubt that you're the one
And you can have your dreams!



(INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO)

You're the best!
AROUND!
Nothin's gonna ever keep you down!
You're the Best!
AROUND!
Nothin's gonna ever keep you down!



You're the best! AROUND!



Nothin's ever gonna keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!



Well, I guess one level is good enough for now.



Turtle crabs! We'll get to them later.



Underwater, where the dimensional rules of tree foliage go right out the window.



No enemies, but if you go here without the wakka seed you die in a matter of seconds. You know, the wakka seed that Madmartigan says a non-existing race of beasts somewhere in this world is carrying. How do people normally cross this thing?



Cave!

Tune in next time for PLOT TWISTS!