Part 22: Update -XIX- I would walk 500 miles

Update 19 Highlights - World of Final Fantasy


As soon as we leave Figaro Castle, Chapter 16 kicks off. We're heading to Big Bridge.



Now I'm getting the-hyped!



Figaro Castle is now parked off to the right of the Phantom Sands entrance, just outside the Caravan. The sandstorm that was blocking the left path has subsided, so we can now proceed that way.



Whoa! That thing over there has gotta be it!

Now that is one big the-bridge!

Well, you sure can't say it doesn't live up to the name!







Welcome to Big Bridge. Big Bridge is a location from FFV. Galuf busts the party out of Exdeath's Castle and they escape along it. That's... pretty much it for now. However, WoFF's Big Bridge is a little different.

Getting to the top is...

Not gonna be fun.

I'll the-say.

Still, you have to admire it. Who could have built something like this?





Eiko is voiced by Michaela Murphy in English and Hisako Kanemoto in Japanese.



Eiko is from FFIX. She's a 6 (possibly 7) year-old (yes, really) summoner. Her village was attacked and destroyed to try and nip the whole Eidolon (summon monster) threat in the bud and everyone she loved was killed. You know, the typical JRPG thing that seems to happen every few months. Despite having been told not to leave until she had turned 16, Eiko takes off with Zidane and the party anyway (Eiko kind of has a crush on Zidane). At the end of the game, she gets adopted by Cid and his wife and gets to have a big happy family again. Oh, and Zidane still has the hots for Garnet so that didn't pan out.

Eiko is also the name of FFIX co-producer Hironobu Sakaguchi's wife. I mention this because Sakaguchi is awesome.



You've come here to cross it, right?

Yeah. So... you're saying that Big Bridge isn't man-made, that someone summoned it here. But, like...

First, the bridge has a real name. It's Alexander, in fact.

Alexander is a newer Summon, getting its start in FFVI. Despite that, Alexander has been elevated quite a bit in the franchise. FFIX boosted it from being a random summon monster to playing a big role in the story. In IX, antagonist Kuja is after Alexander in order to usurp Garland as the actual big bad. Eiko helps Garnet summon it, at which point it kicks Bahamut's ass in a scene that would end up becoming everyone's desktop wallpaper at some point or another (including mine, even though I didn't like IX).



Alexander has also shown up as a huge airship (FFXII), Hope's eidolon (XIII), and something in XIV which can't be talked about because spoiler-policy. It is also the focus of an XI expansion where it is the name of a server, the final boss, and one of the eight Sleeping Gods (Alexander being the god of Light).

Alexander also serves a major role in this game, but we won't find out in what way until basically the end. Just try and remember it for way later.

Whuh?

The great Mirage, Big Bridge Alexander!

Ah! It's... it's the-true! How did I the-miss it? I can sense the bridge's the-presence!

Dude... This thing is alive? Holy schelp!

How awesome would it be if Eiko was just fucking with them?

And that's why a summoner like me has to look after him.

Oh wow! So you're a summoner, then!

This is a reference to IX as well. In that game, Eiko possesses an earring which is the last fragment of Alexander's summoning crystal, making her sort of a 'caretaker' of Alexander.

Yeah, but it's not like I'm the one that summoned him... Hey, can I ask you something?

Hm?

Are you them? The one and only Jiants from the Hills?

You bet!

Yeah, that's... the word.

Sooo... I guess that means it's true. Hm? Wait a second. If the prophecy is right...



Huh?

Nobody remembers 'cause they're so caught up in the Crimson Prophecy. The Azure Prophecy, it very clearly says you could bring us salvation or ruin. The divergent futures!

Oh, that's right. Princess Sarah did tell us about the divergence.

Wait, the what?

You the-mean you forgot?

I mean, so did Reynn.

I'm starting to worry... Maybe I shouldn't let you use the bridge.

Oh, no. We're cool! Me and Reynn are totally going to reek the right future.

Sure are...



Well, it's not like I can stop you. The prophecy's about you, not me, right? Go on. You can cross. But don't go causing the apocalypse.

Duly noted.

No promises.

So is there some special the-trick to getting to the tippity-top of Alexander?

Just get on. I'll handle the wake-up call.

The what?

Alexander's kind of a sound sleeper. So it's my job to step in and sort of get things going. Now, off you go!



There's nothing left to do here, so let's just hop on board the Alexander Train and get ourselves to wherever the hell Big Bridge leads. All we have to do is walk over to the center of the platform behind Eiko.



Hang on to your tighty white chocobos!

Right! Ready when you are!

This is the-gonna be fun!

Thanks, Eiko!

How about a "thanks" for Alexander? No? You will regret that.







Whoa!



You guys are gonna want to strap in. I'll just take the stairs and meet you there. Good for the quads and hammys.

Hey, Reynn?













That's what you get for not appreciating Alexander.



Okay. I know that you're over there. I suppose you want to cross the bridge too?



I don't think she needs to worry about bridges, Eiko. Just a hunch.

No. My business is here with you-- summoner.





An esper, as I thought. Look upon me now. Am I truly your enemy?

*Fenrir "Grrr's" in a questioning manner*

Fenrir, your place is here by my side.

*Fenrir's loyalty remains with Eiko*

Welp, that didn't work. It was a worth a shot, though.

As you wish. But I hope you indulge me with a better fight than that mist dragon with the other girl.

Other girl? You mean Rydia? No! What did you do to her?!

Soon you will no longer care.



And then they fought. Well, Eiko's clearly dead. Let's check on what happened to our supposed heroes.



Ow ow owwie ow ow...

Nnnnn...

Nngh... And here I thought gravity was the worst that could happen to us...

Ugh... Are we there yet?

Huh...? I guess... not.

Nnnnnn... Poing! Hm? Why did we the-stop? Don't tell me Alexander went the-back to sleep?



So despite the platform taking off at the speed of fucking sound, the platform seems to have travelled about... a kilometre maybe? Assuming that Eiko is the reason Alexander was moving, then Plumed Knight must have ended that fight in a single strike. Even then, we should be farther up the bridge than this based purely on how long their conversation took.

Looks like we have no choice.

Dude, WHY?!

Final Fantasy V Music: Clash on the Big Bridge - F


Please, like we're doing this on foot.



Joyride, baby! All aboard the Biggs Express!



So I hope you like straight lines, because this entire dungeon is nothing but that. There's an exit gate right near our starting location.

You are able to run all the way to the bottom of both sides of the bridge, but there's nothing there on this first section, so don't waste your time. Upwards and onward.



On the way, there are new Mirages to stuff into our Prism Case. Brothertaur needs to be hit with Earth Attacks to create a capture chance. They come in pairs, but they aren't much of a threat.

Minotaurs have been in the franchise since FFI. They are based on the mythological creature that stalked the Labyrinth of Knossos. Brothertaur is likely a reference to a pair from FFV named Sekhmet and Minotaur. They would be the basis for the Brothers Guardian Force in VIII as well.



At the top of this section on the left there is a Murkrift. Level 40 is up there, but it shouldn't be much of a problem. Let's check it out.



Devil Wolf is pretty fucking metal, but it's also a pain in the ass. If you have something that inflicts Berserk, then do it ASAP. Devil Wolf has a thing for--





Status Ailments. It manages to catch Lann's stack with Curse right away and puts them to sleep, then outruns Reynn and inflicts Confuse.

If you get Berserk on it, then all it can do is normal physical attacks, which aren't all that strong.



Devil Wolf is from FFII, where it's just a colour swap of a Werewolf. It had access to Curse, Confuse and Fire in that appearance, which it also uses here (it hit Reynn with Fire, but Reynn's stack cancels it out).



If you go to the lower portion of this section (back towards the start, where we met Eiko), then Bahamutian soldiers have a chance to show up and bring a new Mirage along with them.

They only seem to appear if you go to the lower half (there is a small "loading zone" of sorts a short distance below the point where the exit gate is).

As usual, you need to take out the soldier before you can get a shot at the Mirages it has with it.



Imps need to be hit with Confuse to create a capture chance.

Imps first showed up in FFII as an enemy, although Imp is also a status ailment from VI. Imps didn't appear much in the early FF games, but they seem to be going through a resurgence. They've been appearing more regularly since FFX.

The description is referencing the fact that these little bastards showed up in groups to hit you with Confuse while other enemies capitalised on it.



In the next section of the bridge, we can find Babyhemoth variants. Kuza Kits need to be hit with a counterattack to create a capture chance. You need to have some ability like Blaze/Thunder/Ice/etc. Spikes or Counter.

Moving on from that, we have run into a little problem with our journey.



Big Bridge Alexander is divided into multiple sections. However, Alexander seems to have clocked out early.

Update 19 Highlights - Magic Trampolines


And it's also apparently not concerned with wheelchair access on the side paths running along the elevator.

Oh, that's great. How are we supposed to get past here?









Oh good, the catapults have emergency power. That works.

Now your turn.



So we run over and examine the red square to launch ourselves up.

Thank you for the demonstration.

Yeah, thanks!

Hey, no sweat! I'm Bartz. And this is my partner, Boko.

Kweh!





Boko also gets an intro freeze frame.

Bartz is voiced by Jason Spisak in English, Soichiro Hoshi in Japanese. Boko is voiced by Kana Hanazawa.



Bartz and Boko are from FFV. The two of them met while Bartz was traveling the world. Boko had been separated from the other Chocobos, so Bartz names him Boko and the two become traveling companions.

It's Boko that convinces Bartz to go and help the other heroes that he meets. Bartz saves Lenna and Galuf, but he initially plans on just continuing on his travels. This group is the one that tries to swipe Faris' pirate ship, as mentioned in her introduction. The four of them would later become FFV's Warriors of Light and go on to defeat Exdeath. Overall, Bartz has kind of an "along for the ride" feel as a character. His dad is one of the warriors that originally sealed Exdeath away, but that's about all there is to his backstory.

Also, his name was originally supposed to be "Butz" in the English localization. For obvious reasons, the translators decided not to go ahead with that.

As for Boko, he gets injured early in the game and is left behind to rest. When Bartz meets him again, he discovers that Boko hooked up with a girl Chocobo named Koko while he was away.

Oh, hey-- I've heard there's some weirdo going around here, yelling my name and attacking total strangers...W-wait, wait. It's not one of you, is it?

Huh?

No. We didn't even know your name until you just told us.

Oh good. Well, I'd better keep looking for him. Can't have folks like that roaming around.

If some bully was going the-round using my name to hurt a bunch of innocent people, I'd be the-weirded out too.

I know, right?



Awful! Your grade for that one is the-"P.U."

Yeah, that did stink.

"PU"? But that's two grades!

Please, I beg of you, stop going back to this joke.

Also, fuck both of you. "Tama-hawk" was awesome.



Okay, then why don't I tag along? The more the merrier, I say!

Back to the death march. It's completely uneventful until halfway up this section.



Oh... I wonder what happened to them.

By the way, Bartz, you wouldn't the-happen to be a summoner?

Me? No way! Boko here is just a really good friend.

Kweh!

You know, there are plenty of Mirages who live alongside humans by their own choice. There's chocobos, and moogles...

Now that you mention it, I have seen moogles and chocobos wandering around Grymoire's towns.

And Captain Faris was the-living with moogles, too.

Well, considering she's best buddies with a giant sea dragon, I'd say she's closer to something like a summoner or a Mirage Keeper.

Really? You sure know some interesting people.

Alright, everyone cut the small talk. We still have a long way to go.



Halfway down the left side of this section is a small platform with a chest on it. There's also a chest at the very bottom with a Stealth mirajewel in it if you feel like that is worth the hike.

Stealth is the opposite of Lure. It will reduce the encounter rate, which is honestly kind of useless if you are playing an up-to-date version. Remember, there was a patch that added a bunch of "cheats" in the options menu, one of which is "No Encounters". I haven't been making use of that, mainly because I don't want to miss out on EXP, so I doubt Stealth will see any use either.



Section 3 is a little different. You can see a number of side platforms on both sides.





That's because there are Mythril Giants guarding them. They will repeatedly jump and stomp the ground to create these moving sigils.



If you get hit by a sigil then it will trigger a fight with 3 Mythril Giants, which is actually kind of a pain. There are easier ways to grind out EXP, so it's better to try and avoid these extra fights.



We need to get that Mirage out of the way.

Oh. An obstruction. I think I the-need to take some classes in Lann-ese.

Wait for the sigil to get to the end of its range, then book it for the red squares after it disappears. Once you get to the first square, it's just a matter of waiting on top of it until the next sigil approaches. Hit "A" (or whatever equivalent you are using for the selection button) just before the sigil gets to you to jump over it. It's relatively forgiving, so you don't need to worry about waiting until the absolute last second.

Once you reach the giant that's causing the sigils to appear, you'll be forced into a battle with three of them. They have strong defences, but are weak to Thunder. If you have a bunch of Lightning Spellstones, then those can wipe out all three in a single shot. However, if you are using magic then be aware that these guys can use Shell to reduce magic damage on themselves. They tend to cast it after getting hit by a spell.



Beating one causes it to turn into a red ball of light and fly off. This is worth noting.

The chest to the right of this one has an X-Potion in it. There's also a red square next to that. This one will launch you over to the platform on the left path which has a chest containing a phoenix pinion.

From there, just keep running up the bridge. There are no more giants on this part (until we transition to the second half of Segment 3).



When we transition to that second half, Reynn starts in on her whole "trivia when upset" crap.

Don't you think that's kind of a strange turn of phrase? I mean, it's not like you can cross a bridge before you come to it. It doesn't make any sense. If you ask me--

That's not what that phrase means, Reynn. Shut up.

I didn't, I didn't. Please make it stop.

If you somehow have never heard that saying before, "Cross that bridge when we come to it" refers to not worrying about something that could happen in the future until it actually does happen.

How are we supposed to cross the bridge if it's damaged? What if it's been washed out? What if it's closed off? Or what if maybe it's just perfectly fine and there are no issues whatsoever? In other words, don't stress about theoretical problems. Figure that shit out if/when you run into it.

I am, unfortunately, completely unable to subscribe to that way of life. I can't help but run through the worst-case scenarios in an effort to brace myself for failure. Set your expectations low and you'll always be pleasantly surprised, as I always say.

I am not a fun person.



Anyway, stop at both red squares and hop over the approaching sigils. After the second square, book it up to the platform and swing left to dodge the following one. There's a chest there with 4 protect stones in it as well.

If you launch yourself over to the right platform using the red square, you'll find a chest with 3 earth spellstones in it. Both sides have a Mythril Giant launching sigils down at you, so it doesn't really matter which side you take.

If you go up the right side and beat the giant there, you'll get a chest with 2 remedies+ in it (which can cure all ailments instead of just a select few, like regular remedy does).

If you take the left side and beat the giant, then there is a chest with a Mega Phoenix in it.

Or you can just beat one, go back to the platform and launch yourself over, then take out the other one to get both chests. There's an additional reason behind doing this as well.



A reason which will become apparent when we get to the final ominous looking segment of the bridge. Hit up the save point and head for the Mythril Giant blocking the way forward. You need to beat this one. Doing so will cause a little scene to happen.

Update 19 Highlights - Iron Giant Optional Mirage






Those red lights the MG's turned into have been activating the pillars at the top of the bridge. Beating four of them will activate the big pillar off to the left and cause it to drop down to ground level.



More accurately, this dude will crash down on top of the rock and smash it down to ground level.



Save again and head to the left if you want a shot at capturing Iron Giant.

Remember, Magical Enhancements are things like Protect and Shell. If you are looking to capture this one, then just throw whatever you want at it (except for Haste, since making this thing faster is a stupid move). You won't be damaging it anyway, so it doesn't really matter if its defence is sky high.

Now if you want to defeat it, then you're in for a tough fight. 60k HP is no joke.



It also has a signature attack called Grand Sword which is fairly strong and hits everyone and can topple.

It also has a second signature ability called Mighty Guard. Mighty Guard gives Protect and Shell, so if you have been beating on it then this will blunt your damage output against him. Shelke is a good one to have on hand here, as Countertek will clear that for you (or you could just use Dispel if you have it).

I don't advise fighting this guy, personally. He only pays out 12k in EXP, which is pitiful considering the amount of time it will take. Capturing him will get this over with quicker and is fairly easy.



Regardless of what you do, you'll get a memento for him anyway. In other words, Mugsy now has the ability to turn into this dude and replace Clifford as our XL Mirage, should the thread wish.

That's all for this place. Let's hit the save point one more time and head to that big obvious boss arena.

Update 19 Highlights - Chapter Boss + End Scene


Huh?


[???]: Baaarrrtz!


What the...

Wait a sec. Is that who you were talking about?

That's definitely your name he's the-calling.

Who's there? Show yourself!





Gilgamesh is voiced by Keith Szarabajka in English and Kazuya Nakai in Japanese. Daisuke Gori originally voiced him for his FFXII appearance and was presumably going to voice the character in the future (Square seems to like sticking with the same VA's for FF characters), but he passed away in 2010. It's... not a happy story. So if you don't want to be bummed out, then don't scroll over the spoiler tag.

Daisuke Gori voiced characters from a lot of series, like Tekken (Heihachi), Soulcalibur (Edge Master), Dead or Alive (Bass), and Drakengard (Manah/the God possessing her), just to name a few. He also had a lot of anime roles in addition to dubbing/commercials/TV that VA's tend to do. Unfortunately, he started suffering retinal detachment that came about as a result of diabetes. This made it difficult for him to read his lines or see the screen during his VA work. It clearly weighed heavily on him, because in 2009 he told good friend and fellow VA Kazuhiko Inoue, "I've grown old".

Shortly into 2010, someone witnessed Mr. Gori wandering around a street in Nakano, Tokyo. He collapsed shortly afterwards. I'll spare details of the death itself, but he had left a note to his family that said he was sorry, along with his will. He was 57.

Suicide sucks, guys. I don't mean to bring the mood down in this game about chibi Final Fantasy characters and a protagonist that may or may not be able to count to five, but some things need to be repeated. I'm not going to preach to you about "not being a coward", "not being weak", or "not taking the easy way out", because that's horseshit. Hopeless depression has been non-stop for me for well over a decade and I don't know about anyone else, but I do know that I sure as fuck don't feel more determined when people talk about it like that.

All I will say is that if you're going through that, then talk to someone about it, someone that you know will take it seriously (and there is someone out there like that, because there are suicide prevention lines for that very purpose). Take that first step and see where it leads. Even if you've tried that before and it didn't work, it doesn't mean you'll end up on the same path when you try again.



Gilgamesh comes from FFV, although he has become something of a Deadpool-like character since his first appearance. He's shown up in more FF titles than any other character so far. Sometimes he's a summon, sometimes he's a bonus boss, and sometimes he has a story role.

He's a goofball that supposedly has the ability to traverse dimensions. He's also a sword collector that's out to find Excalibur. In FFV he works for Exdeath, but the party defeats him several times throughout the story. A reoccurring joke for his appearances is that he wants to challenge Bartz and make him recognize his prowess, but Bartz doesn't have any idea who he is.

And... you are...?

Such as in this apperance for example.

Huh? You mean you don't recognize him?

I have awaited this day... How many years now?

Huh?

Hm? Hang on. What was I going to do to you again?

Hey, don't look at me.

Then tell me what you know!



Which of them will out-the-stupid the other?! I can't the-look away!

Mm-hmm.

Huh. I'll get it right this time. I have awaited this day a... hundred years!

Oh! Well, that's a nice round number.

Sure is. For one he just made up.

Very the-lame.

Yeah. I'll say.

Quiet, quiet, quiet! No one is permitted to mock the almighty Gilgamesh! Not without a fight.

Gilgamesh and the upcoming boss fight music are the reason why Big Bridge has become so iconic. Both the song and Gilgamesh are fan-favourites ("Clash on the Big Bridge" has 3 different versions in this game), even though V as a game is rarely given much attention. A lot of people seem to have trouble even remembering basic details about FFV.

Final Fantasy V Music: Battle on the Big Bridge - C


Oh, come on. You know as well as I do he's just exaggerating. There's this thing called "hyperbole"? Like when people say "this book weighs a ton" or "I could sleep for a month"?

Oh! Hyprobably! As in "hy probably could eat the whole chocobo!"

Is he the-serious?

I hope he's not serious, or else Bartz is going to have to hide Boko and fast...

Why do you even bother, Reynn? Honestly.



Fitting for his usual role as a "funny" boss, Gilgamesh isn't particularly strong. 12k HP is nothing at this point of the game. He also has no elemental resistances to worry about. In terms of ailments, you can Blind him, which will just cause him to whiff the attacks he does manage to get.



Not to say that he's a complete pushover. He has some magic attacks that are fairly potent.

Overall, not something you need to worry much about, unless you are severely under leveled. I personally decided to have some fun in this battle and pulled out Clifford for the first time since his introduction.



Let's see what he's capable of now that he's got a few levels under his belt.







Not bad. Not great, but not bad either. There's potential there.



When Gilgamesh's HP gets low, he'll bust out a triple cast of Haste, Protect, and Shell. Then he'll go for his signature attack.













Mightest of Swords has two possible outcomes. If the sword is red, then Gilgamesh's attack will be "Excalipoor". Excalipoor is just a knock-off of Excalibur, so it only hits for 1 damage.





If the sword is blue, then that's the real Excalibur attack. This attack is capable of dishing out some solid damage, although Lann's stack resisted it in this instance.



No fair ganging up on me like that, you cowards! Baaartz!

Ugh, what?

Next time, it's just you and me.

Thaaat's definitely not happening.

Kweh!

D'oh! Uh... Well, I've given you enough of a beating anyway. Good day!



He jumps over the edge of the bridge, but Enkidu catches him and flies him to safety.



Almost. Whatever, he's survived worse than that.

Enkidu is Gilgamesh's Imp/Demon partner. Kind of like how Bartz has Boko.

So, uh, who mixed up his marbles?

Got me.

Kweh...

Well... at least he's out of our hair, I guess?

Wouldn't that be nice.

This unlocks Bartz's Champion stuff. We get a chance to save, although the chapter isn't quite over.



Kweh!

Yup! Take care!

Right. Don't be a stranger now!

Bye-the-bye!



I'm not quite sure where the hell Bartz goes off to, considering that direction is a dead-end. We're not off the bridge yet, Bartz.

Oh well. Maybe he's just hiding out behind some debris until we leave, so things aren't awkward.



Head over to the red square and we'll hit the final stretch.

I'll be the-taking my time.

Oh come on, live a little!

And that marks the end of the chapter. I feel like progress was made. At the very least we don't have to go back to Big Bridge anymore.