Part 107: Episode CIV: Dreams
Episode CIV: Dreams
So, here we are. It took 104 updates...but we’ve finally reached the infamous second disc of Xenogears. At this point in development, Final Fantasy VIII had fully shaken down Xenogears’ staff for any and all funds it could secure for that bloated project. This left Disc 2 a bit...abridged in comparison to the first half of the game. That won’t immediately be evident by this update. But...soon enough you’ll see what I mean.
However, I’m just going to leave the beginning of Disc 2 here untouched. It sets a certain tone for what we’re going to see ahead...
Music: The Treasure Which Cannot Be Stolen
Things remembered when one is asleep... Things forgotten when one is awake...
Where the deepest layers of memories become the outmost layers of one's dreams...
Which are reality? Which are illusions? One cannot tell until one awakes...
Or perhaps they are, at the same time, both truth and fiction...
A vast nebulous... With no boundaries...
An emptiness equivalent to my own existence...
I dreamt such a dream...
A long... Never-ending,
Dream...
Music: Faraway Promise
"Lacan, what is wrong?" "Lacan?"
I had become recognized as a talented artist and now was painting the portrait of the Nisan Mother, 'Sophia'...
"...Let us finish for today. You look rather tired. ... Are you alright?"
"I am fine, thank you... But, now that you mention it..." *puts brush down* "Shall we stop for the day? You must be the one who is tired, 'Mother Sophia'?" "Enough of that, now. When it is just the two of us, would you stop calling me that. Just call me 'Elly'... As you used to do in the old days... And you don't have to be so stiff and formal." *nods* "Oh, errh, alright. Very wel... no, I mean... Yes, let's do that, 'Elly'!"
'Elly'...
It was a time when she went by such a name. A time when we had met up with one another... A time when nothing mattered between us...
It was better that way... Just two people, together...
It was better to have left it that way...
"Oh, really? What is the matter?" *looks down* "I ran out of paint. So... I, errh, need to go make some more." "You're going all that way... just to do that?" *half-looks at Elly and stares off again* "If I don't go there, I won't be able to get the right pigments." *stands up* "Oh... Then how about I have one of my followers, the -Kahal-, take you in one of our Gears? You'll arrive quicker and you'll be much more safe."
So I wanted to buy time... She'd probably despise me for that...
No, she'd probably just give me her usual smile. She was that kind of woman...
Now that I am awake, those countless numbers of long, heartrending dreams are almost impossible to remember at all...
In those dreams, I loved one woman... No matter the day, No matter the era... That did not change...
Nor did her name...
That dream changed me... That dream was the catalyst for me to resolve what my purpose was.
I think I know now... What I have to do...
That long, long memory of a dream... Perhaps it was the memory of my soul...
Music: The Treasure Which Cannot Be Stolen
Those words I was unable to convey... That day... That time...
Those thoughts I was unable to carry out...
Words and thoughts... The connection between the two...
Without words, thoughts cannot be conveyed... Without thoughts, there are no words... They are both as vital as each other...
They can never be divided... Like the wings of angels... Like a man and a woman...
An unchangeable destiny... Feelings one wishes one could change...
Meeting with the person who would change me... And watching myself change...
I dreamt such a dream...
A long... Never-ending,
Dream...
Music: Faraway Promise
"Lacan, what is wrong?" "Lacan?"
A symbolic name... Crowned upon the person who would be the people's hope...
A name I was destined to have whether I wanted it or not...
"...Let us finish for today. You look rather tired. ... Are you alright?" "I am fine, thank you... But, now that you mention it..." *stops painting* "Shall we stop for the day? You must be the one who is tired, 'Mother Sophia'?" "Enough of that, now. When it is just the two of us, would you stop calling me that. Just call me 'Elly'... As you used to do in the old days... And you don't have to be so stiff and formal." *nods* "Oh, errh, alright. Very wel... no, I mean... Yes, let's do that, 'Elly'!"
'Elhaym'...
I've always liked that name... Because, when I first met him, that is what he called me...
That is my true name...
"Oh, really? What is the matter?" *looks down* "I ran out of paint. So... I, errh, need to go make some more." "You're going all that way... just to do that?" *half-looks at Elly and stares off again* "If I don't go there, I won't be able to get the right pigments." *stands up* "Oh... Then how about I have one of my followers, the -Kahal-, take you in one of our Gears? You'll arrive quicker and you'll be much more safe."
Therefore... I didn't want them...
I wanted the two of us to be ourselves...
That is what I wished for... So, I had him paint me...
The way I really am...
Now that I am awake, those countless numbers of long, heartrending dreams are almost impossible to remember at all...
In those dreams, I loved one man... No matter the day, No matter the era... That did not change...
Only his name...
That dream changed me... That dream was the catalyst for me to resolve what my purpose was.
I think I know now... What I have to do...
That long, long memory of a dream... That perhaps was the memory of my soul...
Ha! You saw a new update and thought it was gonna resolve that cliffhanger at the end of the disc!
Mother Sophia Portrait