Part 61: Episode LVIII: Elhaym Van Houten and the Mysterious Stranger

Episode LVIII: Elhaym Van Houten and the Mysterious Stranger

Music: Lost...Broken Shards


"...You mean... He will be alright...?"
”Didn’t you mention you were a doctor too? Why are you asking me...?”
“I just wanted to...compare notes...”
"...I guarantee nothing. I don't know why he's like this in the first place."
”He just got kind of wet and shook up in that Gear of his. You’d usually be able to fix that with a decent shower and an aspirin. But...”
“Fei is...a special case...”
"..."


Meanwhile, Elly is throwing a pity party since it would seem she and Fei cannot go for more than 24 hours together without one of them getting knocked out, blown up, captured by the enemy, or otherwise split up.


"...Then there is hope...at the infirmary in the 'Ethos' headquarters."
“!”

Elly runs up to the doctor...


"I cannot guarantee it. But if we were to take him to the 'Ethos' headquarters' hospital..."
"Then could we save him?"
"I think then that he would most probably pull through alright... But unfortunately, ordinary citizens are only allowed into the main hall at the 'Ethos' headquarters. You would have to become a monk, or be introduced by someone in the 'Ethos'..."
"..."
”Well crap... Hmm...I wonder if I could talk Margie into converting...”
"Ah, I just remembered. I heard that the Etone, -'atoners of sin'-, are coming to Thames from the 'Ethos' H.Q...."
”That is rather convenient.”
“Don’t sweat the details! God! No wonder you’re Fei’s girlfriend.”
“I’m not his girlfriend.”
“Weren’t you two stuck stranded at sea for like half a week?”
“It was only a couple of days.”
“Oh...I get it... He couldn’t... Heh. Hey, if he asks if you’re into dressing up or mascot costumes...just walk away swiftly.”
“I am not even going to ask what that is implying...”
"What purpose do such Etone from the 'Ethos' have here?"
"They're coming here to do some type of investigation."
"Etone...what are they?"
"They are religious people from the 'Ethos', who cleanse away the 'Reapers' or -Wels- that appear here in Aquvy."
“Clear away what now? Lose the air quotes and hyphens...”
“Zombies.”
“Awesome.”
"So why don't we ask them?"
"I'll ask them if they can help us, but I don't know if they will... I guess there is no harm in asking though..."
"Alright. Let's go look for them."
"I will go with Fei and the life support machines to the Yggdrasil. Bart and Elly, you two go look for the Etone."
"...Right."


Welp, now we’re left to go wander around aimlessly with Bart and Elly in search of the zombie slaying priest aboard the Thames.


Poking around a bit will reveal they may or may not have been spotted at the Armor Ground where we initially began our adventures on the Thames.


"Really? Where'd they go?"
“I don't know...”
"What're you doing Margie?"
"Hi, Bart. I just heard from Citan. I also was looking for that Etone. This person's seen that Etone before."
"Really?"
”What, is he done hooking up Fei’s life support dealie?”
“Oh yeah. He was just chatting with whomever on the Yggdrasil bridge.”
“Didn’t cross his mind to come help look for this jerk...?”
*shrug*
“Hey, quit resistin'!!”
"Bart!! Look!!"

Music: Fuse


It seems a pair of slavers is attempting to kidnap a little girl. Why are there slavers here? Where did they come from? Who knows! But Elly isn’t having any of that bullshit.


“What the? Who are you?”
“Instead of the brat why don't I sell you off?”
”Well I could stab you in the gut with my sword, set your head on fire, crush you with a fountain of high pressure water, blow you off the side of the ship, or have a rock materialize and drop on your head. Or I could go get my Gear and stomp you into a fine paste... To name a few reasons why that would be a poor idea.”

Bart wanders over with Margie...


“You think you're all that?”
”AND a bag of chips!”

Music: Silence


The thugs’ dick waving contest is halted by a gunshot at one of their feet.


The triggerman is yet another non-playable character that is way cooler than Rico: a rifle toting cowboy. Sure, why not?


“Wait, this guy's...”
“Oh no...Jesiah!!”
*runs off* “Damn, I'll remember this!”

The two slavers run off, never to be seen or mentioned again... Jesiah proceeds to walk up behind Elly and point his rifle at the back of her head...


"What do you think you're doing?"
"Wa, wait..."
"Shut up, you dog of Solaris."
”Excuse me, but I haven’t done anything affiliated toward Solarian goals in...at least half a day...”
*snort* “Right. So why you wearing that uniform?”
“Well...”
“She’s just kind of an idiot like that.”
"..."
“Wait!!”

Citan runs over to the group...


“No Jesiah, you are misunderstanding. You always rush into things. She was only helping the girl."
"What? Butt kissin' talker, is that you Hyuga..."
"..."
*holsters rifle* "Yeah yeah, I know, Primera. My misunderstanding. Sorry, young lady. Please, stand up."

Elly does so...


“Sorry about the misunderstanding. This is Primera. My daughter. I am... Call me Jessie. It's enough that the little brats call me Jesiah."


Primera stares creepily at Elly. It turns out she’s a mute who stares vacantly at people until one of her family members make what she "says" up to stave off the awkwardness of the situation needs Jessie’s help to express her intent.


“Something happened to her and she hasn't spoken since then."
"...Is this the girl that brought about your shotgun wedding?"
"That's a damn rude thing to ask! Look at how old she is. Primera is my second child. That other kid is already 16."
"Please excuse me. How is your wife?"
"...She's dead. I wasn't even there for her when she died."
”Got any other assholish questions for me or do I need to give you some time to think?”
"I see... What are you doing here?"
"I have to go shopping sometime. Besides my son has some unsavory business in this area..."
”You know. Pussy ass church business. That boy ain’t right.”


One of the dock workers runs over and informs the party that the jerk we’d been looking for has finally showed up.

A short while later and after the Thames doctor has explained the situation...

Music: Ship of Regret and Sleep


"Quit beating 'round the bush and just help."

Jessie walks up with Primera...


"This is my son Billy."
"Where have you been until now? Things are pretty serious at the headquarters."
”I was busy not giving a shit about what was going on at headquarters. Besides...”
"What do you mean serious? What's wrong with going out shopping with my daughter?"
"I don't know the details but you have been labeled as an undesirable element. What did you do this time? Fight? Gamble? Go after someone's wife again!?"
"Hmmph, that's just a rumor about me. A rumor. Don't you believe that. Ever since you went into the 'Ethos' you've become such a stiff."
”I ain’t stolen anyone’s wife since back in ’88 and I only shot at some jackass’ feet. That ain’t a real fight. Gambling and drinking...well you got me there...”
“I did not say anything about drinking.”
“That’s because you hold your drinks like a bitch.”
"..."
"This lady prevented Primera from getting kidnapped. Why don't you just help out?"
*steps forward* "Well...can we get an introduction to the 'Ethos' then?"
"Oh yes, please excuse my rudeness. I didn't know you saved my sister. Let me contact the medical department at my headquarters. I have other matters I must attend to, considering I am not only a priest but also an Etone... So I cannot make any promises."
"Then you'll introduce us?"
"Yes. Let's stop by the 'Ethos' headquarters after this."


“The 'Ethos' is obviously very different from my Nisan Sect."
"Your Nisan Sect? Are you from Nisan?"
"Yep, I'm Marguerite. Nice to meet you, Father."
"The pleasure is mine. I've never had a proper chance to speak to others about their religions. Can we talk later?"
"Sure, that's fine. But I can't take that much time. I'm a little busy now."
"Thank you. Hmm... Marguerite? Where have I heard that name before?"
”Well, she is the Ho—“
“Doctor. Mouth. Shut it!”
“Good friggin’ luck with that...”
"Forget about it, relax... I came here to talk to the 'Ethos'. Let's get moving."
"What an impolite fellow. You should learn how to speak a little more politely."
"Why you!"
”I rest my case.”
"Well everyone, I'll go tell the 'Ethos' headquarters that you're coming. When you've taken care of business here, please come by the 'Ethos'."
"I know, I know. Let's go."
"Hey Billy, I have some business to take care of. If you're going back to the headquarters can you take Primera back to the brat house for me?"
"......Alright. Let's go, Prim."

Billy and Primera depart...


“Later, Hyuga. I know I'll be seein' you around."
"Uh, who knows."
”Oh, shut the fuck up, Hyuga. You know your narrow four-eyed ass can’t help but get up in everybody’s business...”
“...”
"Well, whatever. See you ladies later."

Jessie walks off in the other direction to go drink and shoot assholes and be awesome...


"Sigurd said he would be done with the Yggdrasil soon."
"What, really? Alright, this time we can really leave port."
”You know. Assuming that stupid fish robot doesn’t come back...again...”
"Are we returning...to Aveh?"
"Are you kidding? We've got to take care of Fei first. That smart aleck kid said he'd introduce us to the 'Ethos'. So I guess we'll just have to go to the 'Ethos' headquarters then..."
”And from there I’m sure we’ll get roped into a week’s worth of crap. So I’m not holding my breath for a trip back to Aveh this month.”
*nods* "...Thank you."
"Why do I have to get thanked by you?"
"Heh, that's right, Elly."
”Bart really is doing jack besides providing a ride.”
*nods* "...Yes, you're right."
”You can frikkin’ swim if you’d like...”

Some time later back at the Yggdrasil...



“We must hurry up and take Fei there... This is your first time to see our new Yggdrasil II... Let me show you our reborn vessel's improved performance!"


And thus we say goodbye to the Thames and set sail for adventure. Or stupid shit. One of the two!









Music: Ship of Regret and Sleep




Jessie Black Portrait – I didn’t really think we’d need a manly cowboy in this story... But now that there is one, I’m not complaining.