Part 10: Reshef of Destruction part 5

Reshef of Destruction part 5



So we're going to Canada next. These are some pretty random locations for the Millenium Items to just fly off to.



And of course, when I think Canada, I think FOSSIL EXCAVATION SITE! No snow, just an excuse to start our duels on Wasteland fields.



But that's actually very fantastic for Mammoth Graveyard, so I'm game. You can duel some of the NPCs here, who apparently take their cards to work with them.



The screen shakes as we enter the cave.



Tremors are entirely normal.



Well who did you think was going to show up in a fossil excavation site? It's Rex Raptor again.



And of course he knows where the Millenium Item is but we have to duel him first.



Rex is one of the first opponents to really put Equip cards to good use, so expect some scary numbers every now and again. Wind monsters mess him up good, though, as most Dinosaurs are Earth monsters.



Having a God on your side helps too.



Turns out the Millenium Item is, surprise surprise, LITERALLY the next room over.



Public Service Announcement: Dinosaurs are NOT DRAGONS.



This Millenium Guardian doesn't have much stronger cards than Rex did, so let's demonstrate Mirage Knight's effect.



As you can see, instead of one monster with 2800 attack points, I now have one with 2500 and another with 1800. Being summoned face-up means Flame Swordsman can't use his effect, though, which is to destroy all Dinosaur monsters on the field...uh, not that helpful unless you're fighting Rex anyways, I suppose.



The Millenium Rod is our next item, which means it's time for another cameo appearance!



Marik appears and says not to bug him, basically. Sorry Marik, once you've been a Yu-Gi-Oh character, you can't ever stop being a Yu-Gi-Oh character.



Back at the shop, I discover that there's another Toon monster for sale, so naturally I have to add it to my deck!



Well, I'll add it eventually. Duelist Level!



Item number six is in the Galapagos Islands. Sounds acquatic.



And who else do we know to be acquatic but Mako Tsunami.



Fortunately, dueling him is completely optional. I mean, you could take him on...



But considering his deck, I don't recommend it. Hey, it's one of those former Ritual monsters again! And Torrential Tribute, the trap card you have no way of avoiding without a card that destroys traps.



Further into the island is Weevil Underwood, who is also an optional opponent at this point.



He's a little easier than Mako. Though that Parasite Paracide is annoying. It can replace one of your monsters with itself. I'd avoid tribute summoning against him for this reason.



Still, one good Fire monster is usually enough here.



So it's not just us who can casually travel cross-country like it's nothing! Seriously! China is halfway across the globe from here!



Hey, look who it is.



Huh, he must have beaten the Millenium Guardian already! That's one less for us to deal with. Pay attention, Yugi! This person is much better at being useful.



Wait, that's not how Dark Yugi talks.



Yeah it's a fake. I mean, that should have been obvious considering the Millenium Puzzle is nowhere near where we are!



The Mimic of Doom reveals his true self, and we duel!



At this point I think it's worth reminding everyone: I only show myself winning, which might give the illusion that the game isn't as hard as I make it out to be at times. Thing is, every victory occurs mostly because I draw a good combination of cards in my opening hand, and I don't have a TON of good cards to draw, so there's usually lots of resets in between every win. And of course, duels are much slower than screenshots can convey.



So after beating him, he just drops the Millenium Scales and leaves.



Shadi makes another cameo and tells us Pegasus is under Reshef's influence or something. I guess he'd kind of have to be.



Okay, that's six Millenium Items so we should be able to get the final God card--



oh no the card that costs too much to be practical is gone from my deck

They actually force you to re-edit your deck if the God card was in your deck, which now that I think about it, would be very bad if the player had lost every card that wasn't in their deck somehow. Maybe that's why you can't sell a card if you're down to one copy of it.



Bullshit! We have Mirage Knight, and we could get lots of other great cards from Yugi's Grandpa!...if he wouldn't charge so much money, anyways.

I mean, I guess if there was some rule stating that in order to defeat Reshef the last attack on his LP has to be made by a God card, then I'd want them back, but fortunately, this isn't Nightmare Troubadour for the DS, so that isn't the case.

In fact, if our goal is to SAVE THE WORLD why are we restricted by Duelist Level and Deck Cost and the Banlist anyways? It makes no sense.



Hold everything, it's sideplot time. If you didn't view the scenes with Tristan and Duke two updates ago, this won't happen.



I didn't know Tristan had a dog. Ishizu leaves to sort out the God card problem while we go see what's up.



Duke and Serenity explain that they haven't seen Tristan in awhile.

This sidequest is, in all honesty, the most dumbass thing ever, but it's too hilarious for me to complain about it. Well, actually, if you unlock this sidequest, you have no choice but to play it, so that's uncool.



We get a poor sepia tone and a flashback to...a robot monkey?



Wow. That's the biggest leap of logic I've ever seen.

"Tristan's dog sure likes that robot monkey!"
"THE MONKEY MUST BE TRISTAN!"

Duke also guesses that Reshef's influence can cause ANYTHING including this. Okay! Whatever! Let's go with that!



Uh, maybe the monkey JUST ISN'T TRISTAN? I get that the head is similar, but geez.



NO. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. That arc is NOT CANON. Don't remind me of that!



So, we ask Yugi's Grandpa about the robot monkey. He mentions Kaiba Corporation makes them.



Joey then assumes Kaiba turned Tristan into a robot monkey. REALLY.



Mokuba says what we're all thinking, then tells us the monkeys FLEW CROSS-COUNTRY TO THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS. I...okay! Whatever! Let's go there too!



But none of them robotic, I'm sure.



...they even have bananas. WHY do they have BANANAS? They're ROBOTS.



Two of them guard the bananas while the other runs up to us and...



...wait what happened? Why are we in the ante screen?



I'm DUELING the ROBOT MONKEY?! Are you for real?!



They even have annoying spell cards, great. The strong Beast monsters weren't enough, apparently.



So of course we have to beat all the monkeys, and the weakest one has to be Tristan, because he's the worst duelist in the entire game. Monkey See, Monkey Duel. (Has that been used as an Ape Escape level name yet?)



One of them dropped this. I guess it could come in handy.



7 Trials to Glory might let you challenge a dog to a duel, but can you challenge a BANANA to a duel?!



The remaining monkey is cornered, and his deck just sucks compared to the others, so we must have our man!...ape? Ape man!



Say, how DID he get all the way here with no plane or anything?



The monkey seems to take a liking to Serenity. Or he just wants to get away from Joey.



Then Yugi's Grandpa comes out and confirms that the robot is not, in fact, Tristan. That was obvious from the start!



So YOU are the mastermind of this train wreck of a sidequest! I should have known all along!



Tristan was okay all along too, he was just out having a banana!



You shut up, Serenity, you believed he was a monkey too.



Well, to me, you do.



You can duel the monkey robot, but there's no point, his deck and drops are the same as Tristan's.



The shop had also added this to its selection. That's all four of the Toon monsters I'll actually be able to use, so I guess this trip has been worth it.

Next time: Oh right, I guess we should do something about the God cards turning to stone.