Part 15: Island Getaway

Chapter 14: Island Getaway



Well, I'm here inside Griff's mind again, and this time I'm going to try really hard to make sure that he listens to me every time. I think I may have a better handle on this whole "giving commands with my mind" thing. Also, I've come to a decision. This has been one weird as hell trip. No denying that. And, well, some of the things that have been working for me have been rather strange solutions. So, it's time to get stranger. So some of my actions may not make much sense to you. But let's just assume that it's me slowly going insane, and hoping that whatever I'm doing actually works.

With that said, let's fly around the islands a little bit.





Hmmm, this is an odd island formation we've got here. The island behind me looks like a claw of some kind. Having Griff mess around with the spires does nothing (hey, you never know). But I also see another claw looking island off in the distance. Let's take a look. Fly to the claw island.





Let's take a look around real quick.



Looks like a couple of tiny islands, and a couple of walls behind some open water. Alright, time to mess around with the claw here. Griff, tickle the claws.



Hey, this one seemed to something, because I just heard a loud noise behind me.



Um, was that big island in the middle there before? Eh, either way, let's go take a look. Fly to middle island.









There we go. Looks like a broken boat of some kind in front of me. There might be something useful here, so let's move in closer.





...Okay, apparently there was a box there. I didn't see a box, but hey, who am I to argue with free stuff. Let's see what we've got here.





This looks like an inflatable raft. Well, that would have been handy when we were here with Brog, but since we can fly I'm not sure what we'll do with a raft. Oh well, might as well hold on to it anyway.





And here we have an inflatable...um, suit? Hmmm, no idea what use this will be, but I am a rather bad pack rat, so let's hold on to it as well.



I like the look of the hand island to our left, and it looks like there's something on it, so I'm going to send Griff out there.







Not usually a good sign. But apparently he wasted away while using an air pump? Well, if I need to use the raft...or suit...at any point, I'll need an air pump, so let's grab that as well.



Well, that's an air pump. So, let's pump some air!

All in due time.

Okay, back to the middle island.



Only one more place that I can see to look now, and it's the small island in between the two walls. The one that seems to have smoke coming out of it. So let's head there next.













Well that's some pretty open water. Let's turn around and...



Um...where the hell am I? And maybe I'm crazy, but these islands look sort of like a dragon? Only a much bigger dragon that the one I'm currently with.



Well, that's what's giving off the smoke, so let's take a closer look.





Well, there's only one thing I can think of to do with two giant nostrils in front of me. Stick something in them for no reason. Like a raft. Hopefully that will stop the smoke. Because smoking is bad, dammit. (I told you, go with me on these. And it's not like I've got anything else to do with the raft.)





And in the other nostril, let's put the inflatable suit.





Alright, they're both in there now, but smoke is still coming out. Luckily I have this handy air pump.









There we go...um, what was that noise?



Wha..wha..what was that? Oh dear God, it's a dragon!

Oh, man up! Aren't you a dragon? But yeah, it would seem that those holes really are nostrils, and I've caused this thing to come up for air. And, there's no where else to look around here, so we might as well take a look inside the mouth. Why not, it's not like it's my body, just this idiot dragon Griff.











Alright, so here we are, inside the dragon's mouth. Whoa, I just thought of something. I'm inside a dragon's head, who's inside a dragon's head. That's a weird feeling.

Hello?

What the...? Who said that?

Hello? What's going on up there?

It sounds like it's coming from down the throat. Let's go take a closer look.





Hey, there's something attached to that...hanging thingy. What? Biology was never my strong subject. Let's take a close look.





...is that what I think it is?





That would be a coconut. Oh yeah, the Coconut of Quendor! Mmmmm! I was looking for that nut.



Booyah! I've finally found one of the lost magic artifacts! It's about damn time. Alright, now that I have proven how awesome I am, let's listen to what this guy is babbling about.



Actually, since you're there, maybe you could help me out. I'm trying to make meself a piña colada down here and I'm running short on ingredients. So I need to run to the store to pick up a coconut. If I throw you a rope, could you tie it to one of the dragon's teeth so I could climb up?



Rope? Please, do I ever have a coconut for you dude. A magic coconut. Go nuts, man, just save some for me.



Here ya go, pal, take mine. Cause I ain't tying nothing to no dragon's tooth, ya got that? Its not that I'm afraid or anything, it's just that it isn't sanitary.

Brilliant, thanks mate. I'd invite you down but the place is a mess and, well I'm naked. Cheers!

Somehow I don't think that was it's intended usage.

(Editor's note: And here we have one of the few places in the game that can end in a game over without dying. I've lost the Coconut of Quendor, so I can't bring magic back to the Empire, but I haven't died. It sucks, but luckily God invented save files. So let's go back a bit.)



Okay, let's grab that rope, because I'm certainly not stupid enough to toss the Coconut of Quendor down there just so you can have a drink.





That's a rope alright. Thanks mate!

Now I just need to tie this to something.



Here we go.



You know, my hyperactive superego is composed of complex neuroses that usually keep me from doing things like, uh, TOUCHING A DRAGON'S TOOTH!

Yeah, well, sucks for you that I'm in the driver's seat at the moment.

Just hold the rope, please. Thanks mate. Ah, ugh, uh, heh, uh, AAAAHHHH!!!!

Um, huh. It sounds like he fell back down. Oh well, I don't have forever to wait inside here now that I have the Coconut. So sorry buddy, I'm taking that rope and getting the hell out of here.



Hello there? Hello? Did you get the rope?

You had your chance, and I'm an impatient man. I don't have time to waste here so I'm going to...



...oooh! A gold tooth! Let's take it with us.





Oh c'mon! You gotta be a moron to perform impromptu root canal on a sleeping dragon. It just isn't done.

And yet you did it. Go figure. Okay, let's get out of here now.




(Editor's note: Now would be a good time to apologize for the quality of some of the screen shots in this update, like this one. For some reason the picture quality for the video sequences in this section of the game are absolute crap. Unfortunately I can't do anything about this, so we have these screen shots that just look terrible. Sorry again. Okay, where were we?)



Holy shit! Um, that was close.

Well, I'm not going to dwell on it, but that? That was stupid.

Bite me, I was just trying to leave. But it seems that this dragon, although asleep, like his coconut and doesn't want it going anywhere. So how do I get this thing out of here? Well, there's one way out other than the mouth.



The nostril. The raft is blocking the way at the moment, but if we put the coconut in there and then push it out, that should work fine!





Hey, how convenient? We can put something there.

Thanks for joining the conversation.

Hmmm, trying to push it out isn't working. It won't budge. Well, let's pop it to get it out. Luckily I have this tooth.











Hey, I wonder if that thing can float without air? I probably should have thought of that first. Oh, I wonder if he can breathe through the nostril now? Well, that might be bad, he might go back under. Hey, what's that noise?







So, after thinking about it for a second, I've decided that popping the raft would be stupid. It wouldn't float without air in it, and then the coconut might sink and I'd never find it. So I'm definitely not going to pop the raft. Let's head back outside and reassess the situation.









Let's think about this for a second. If I pop the raft, it'll go flying out of the dragon's nose for sure, but then it'll sink. If I pop the inflatable suit, it'll also fly out, but it doesn't have a coconut, so that won't really do any good...but if the suit went flying, and it was attached to the raft...which was still inflated...yeah, that could work!







Alright, back inside.



Now, let's take a closer look at that suit.



Holy auto pilot! That's not an inflatable suit, that's an inflatable man!

...Let's poke him.



Yargh, ye-argh, blargh, argh.

Sounds like a pirate working on his growls. Let's poke him again.

You ever been stuffed in a dragon's nose? This ain't funny ya sick, sea-faring bastard!

Well there's no need to be rude. Let me help you get out of there then.





Thar she blows!



Hey, what goes up, must come down. That's called nature.



Okay, time to get the hell out of here before this dragon realizes it can breathe while partially underwater again.





Oh, well that was easy. All we had to do was tickle a freakin' dragon, fly into his mouth, send a guy to his doom, and shoot an inflatable sea captain out of his nose. I wish everything in life we so simple.

Good to see you were paying attention. Now let's just find that raft.





Sweetness. Of course, now that's we've grabbed the coconut, I'm not really sure how to get it back. I mean, going back through the time tunnel won't do, because I'm pretty sure it would end up in the totem. Which would be bad. So I'm kind of stuck here...wait, I hear something.







....?



Um, what the hell is that guy doing here? Go inside.



Okay, now this just makes no sense whatsoever. Why is he here? How did he know I was here? I mean...oh, nevermind. I won't knock it I guess. We're in the past, so if I put the Coconut of Quendor in here it should still be there when I get back to the present. So let's find a place to put this.



The door out is closed now.


That should work.





We'll just rest that on this nice pillow.



There we go, now let's get out of here and back to that time tunnel.



It would seem the walking castle is so impressive it even knew I wanted to go back through, so it set itself up right against the time tunnel. That was nice of it. Let's head back.





Whew, back in the old body. That feels good. And now we've got the Coconut of Quendor! Which is just awesome.



I've got to say, things are looking up. I'm in a pretty good mood now.



It would seem my laid back attitude this time around really helped out. Well then that's how it's going to be from now on. No more worrying, just going with the flow.





Hey Charon! What's up? Let's get out of here, what do you say?





.....um. Okay, time to panic!

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For anyone who wants to see how all this looks in motion:
Video of everything we did this update.

Tune in next time as we furiously try and find a way out of hell.