Part 4: Has Been Actor Had It Coming

Chapter 4: Has Been Actor Had It Coming

Gotta get my lantern back. Not only will it give me light in the well, but the damn thing talks! Who wouldn't want that? Now, I just gotta figure out a way to get back in here.



Knocking isn't doing any good. He just keeps saying that he won't give it back. Not sure why he keeps answering. Probably just to let me know he's still there, so breaking in won't do any good. Well then I'm going to have to figure out a way to get him outside.





Walking around Foozle isn't really giving me any help. It's the same desolate place it was last time I went through.



What's that? I didn't see that before.



Turns out the lantern thief is also an honorary fireman. Hmmm, how could I possibly use this information to my advantage.



Hey it's action figures!



Make that substandard Grand Inquisitor Dolls. Gee, I wonder what they could possibly say when you use them?


Click here to see the video, as if you hadn't already figured out what he'll say

Never forget who is the boss of you!

I don't even know why I'm doing this a second time.

Me! I am the boss of you!

Say what you want about the man, he knows a thing or two about branding. Even if the dolls are apparently highly flammable...hey, wait a min.



Jackpot.



Luckily these cigars light themselves...



And light up strange dolls.




Alright, I hear the fire alarm, now I just have to wait for that idiot to come out of his house to put out the fire!


Click here to see how well this goes

Ah, speak of the moron!

You dumb hungus! Hide!





Ah ha! I'll radio headquarters we've apprehended the culprits. Go ahead now, and read him his rights.



You, have no rights.

Well that doesn't seem right. I'm an American Citizen! Is what I should be saying, but with no voice it really just comes out as a whole lot of dancing around with a freaked out look on my face.



Hey now, there's no need for a weapon!



Oh shit!







You know what? I'm suddenly having this feeling that after I light that doll on fire, I should probably hide. Good thing I think these things through first.



Alright, so, time to light this thing on fire.





And now it's time to find somewhere to hide.



That'll work.


Click here to see video of how well it goes this time

There we go. This barrel even has a little hole that'll let me watch what's going on! Oh, here he comes.



You were just supposed to smoke it!





Ah ha! Arrest the vandal!

What a load of yipple-dung. I've been set up!

Go ahead and read him his rights!



You have no rights...



Hey, you're Antharia Jack! I'm a really big fan of yours. Remember that one time you killed that thief who stole all your stuff?

Yeah, sure pal, whatever you say.

That was first rate bloody good.



Can I smite him?

Hey!

Oh, I believe smitation would be appropriate at this juncture. Go right ahead.



Oh, I get to smite Antharia Jack. Oh the guys at headquarters aren't going to believe this.



You know, I can't help but feel partially responsible for this.

Oh well, punk stole my lantern. Now, to get back to Jack's place.







Now, I'll just have to figure out a way to break down that door.



Or I could just waltz right in, because the idiot left the door open. That would work, too.





Well, here we are, inside Jack's shithole. Nothing really all that helpful here, except what appears to actually be a computer?! Yes! Internet! Mapquest!



Or not. Although, I have to say, this does look awfuly familiar...

Anyway, back up to Jack's desk and it's our lantern!



Let's just take that back.



Hey, thanks for fishing me out of that crate. Don't think I could have taken another spawning season. And thanks for getting rid of that Jack guy, too. We've got lots to talk about, but introductions are going to have to wait. Get me out of this place before someone finds me.

Sounds good voice coming out of a lantern. Let's you and I become friends, in our mutual dislike for has been actors, despite our differences (your lack of a body).

So, let's see, some where to hide out from the authorities. Well, I've been wanting to climb down that well for some time now, so...









There we go. Now, to tie the rope to the well and climb down it, for the very first time!




Click here to see video of me talking with a lamp







Ah, the underground! Much better. I'm Dalboz, Dalboz of Gurth. They call me the Dungeon Master. Well they used to, before I got stuck in this lantern. The job doesn't mean much nowadays, but I was a big deal about 100 years ago. Then magic is banished, and Yannick the Grand Inquisitor sprays me with Frobozz Electric Wizard Repellant. Suddenly I'm torn from my body, floating helplessly, and I end up trapped in this piece of junk. Which brings me to you. What's your name?

I'm trying, but still no words out of my mouth.



Okay. I'll just call you Ageless-Faceless-Gender-Neutral-Culturally-Ambiguous-Adventure-Person. AFGNCAAP for short.

I would have been mad about the gender-neutral thing, but AFGNCAAP has a nice ring to it. Once you figure out how to pronouce it, that is.

Anyway, you gotta help me. Standard stuff, really. Save the Empire, return Magic to the land, a little revenge, if time permits. I'm a bit out of sorts at the moment, but I know just the person who could help us out. The Enchantress Y'Gael. She's a bit flaky, but she is one heck of a spell caster. And she always give you free stuff when you talk to her! Let's ring her shall we?



I am Y'Gael, Lost Enchantress of the Empire. I come to you through the Ethereal Plains of Atrui.



Apparently the "Ethereal Plains" are getting some bad signal.

Oh, uh, I gotta get that. Do you ya mind?



Well, this is akward.



Alright, lemme get right to the point, this call's not cheap.

*magic*

The good news is there are three magic relics.

*magic*

Ahem. Relics strong enough to bring magic back to the Empire. The bad news is there are...lost or destroyed or something because...



Hello? No magic.

*magic*



Zip it!



Take this spell book, adventurer. There is much magic, hidden in the Underground, if only you know how to look.



What did I tell ya? A spell book. Lemme give ya a quick rundown. There are 3 types of magic spells. High Magic is creation. Middle Magic is enlightenment. Deep Magic is transmutation. You pick up spells as you go along, and you write them into your spell book. We'll probably run across a few of each down here. There are spell scrolls stashed all over the Underground. I just can't remember where.

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For anyone who wants to see how all this looks in motion:
Video of everything we did this update.

That's all for now. Next update we enter the Underground of Zork!