Part 6: Going Underground

Chapter 5: Going Underground

Screw this. Save the Empire? I just wanted to get home. And clearly this isn't happening down here. This lantern just wants me to save their Empire and bring magic back. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm getting out of here. Now, where's that rope?



There we go.



Oh, c'mon now. Look we're safe down here. Even if you could make that climb, we'd be arrested in a matter of seconds.

Sorry, I'll take my chances top side.







Right, so, I've made a decision. I'm going to help this lantern and save his Empire! It's not like I've got anything better to do, and I have a feeling climbing back up to the surface would be a bad idea. Anyways, I've started down this path, might as well see where it leads.

First things first, though. I just tried to get the rope back to use later if need be, but the damn thing is tied on there so tight I can't get it. Oh well, nothing to be done about that right now. I see a bucket next to that door. Things are occasionally in buckets. I should check this out.



See, I told you.

That appears to be your average, every day subway token. Naturally it's lying in a bucket at the bottom of a well.

Well, I don't really care what it's doing here, because it won't be here for long.



I'll take that, thank you.

Ah. It's our very first inventory item together. I wish I had a camera.

Um...okay. Good for you. Now, the only other thing in this room is this big door.



Let's try to open it.



The door's locked, eh. Well I'm not much of a hand with locks, but if you open the spell book.

Oh, right, the spell book! Let's crack that sucker open.





Okay, so, here's the spell book. For High Magic all we have is Voxam, which apparently can "separate the energies of different magics". I don't even know what that means. For Middle Magic we have Rezrov, which can open locked or enchanted doors. That sounds rather helpful indeed! Finally for Deep Magic we have Igram, which can turn purple things invisible. Um...not sure why that deserved a spell, but I've got to admit, I can't wait to find a reason to use it.

Well, that Rezrov spell looks like it should be just what we're looking for here. So let's give it a whirl. Let's see I just touch my hand to that part of the spell book, and...





Ah ha! The book actually just said the spell out loud as I did it? That's pretty awesome, I've got to say. I'll have to mess around with this a bit more with the other spells any chance I get.



Bingo! Open sesame. A very nice piece of spell casting, indeed.

Thank you. Now we just have to climb down these stairs.





What the hell?


Click here to us go for a ride!

Whoa, hey, get your tail off of me. AAAAHHH!!!!!









Holy hell. That was...actually kind of fun. I wouldn't mind doing it again, now that I'd know I'd live through it.



The Crossroads of the Great Underground Highway. My old stomping grounds! Ah, for the days when I could stomp.



Looking around I can see what looks like a sword in a case! Now we're talking. That's an item I can see myself actually being able to use!



All the must haves for the on the go adventurer. Well, I'd say this applies. Go on.

Sweet. So I'll just go ahead and open this up and take the sword.



It's stuck.

I can see that. But it's fine. I'm beginning to see how things work around here. I'll just take the hammer, close the glass, and...







Yeah, I figured that was just retarded enough to work. I'll keep the hammer too. Now, let's take a look at the piece of paper that's in there.



It's a map. A very useless map. Oh well, maybe I'll fill in some parts later.



Now, let's have a look at the tree.



Ah, the elusive umbrella tree. Aptly named for it's umbrella shaped blossoms.

Whatever. Those are purple and I've been dying to try out what sounds like the most useless spell ever. Time to turn those purple things invisible!





Hey look, it's a spell!

Yeah, great. Well, unless you have any ideas on getting it out, it's not really all that helpful. Hey, wait, I have a sword.



Violence never sovles anything. Well, not anything. Okay not this thing!

Oh relax, I can't reach it anyway. Well, let's have a look around. Ooh, something else lying on the ground.



Hmmm. Another vestige of the Inquisition. That tacky little souvenir is called a Totem. They hold the imprisoned spirits of magical creatures. It's cheaper and easier than torture, and it's certainly much more space efficient.

That's what getting Totemized means? Okay, I'll admit, that sounds pretty damn bad. I kinda feel sorry for the little guy.



Let's keep him.



Wha..wha...what was that? Uh...I heard that! Uh...hello...Uh, whoever you are.

It's me, Dalboz! I got chased out of my body by the Grand Inquisitor and ended up stuck in this lamp. This here's AFGNCAAP. So how'd they get to you?

Well, I was just minding my own business hanging out in the forest near Foozle when...uh, next thing you know I'm cornered by a fierce posse. I mean, more of a phalanx, you would really call them. I mean about a hundred Inquisition guards, y'know? And I don't mean your average regular little size guards. I mean these were big guys! They were real monsters! And it took about, well, 50 of them to hold me down, because most of them...

Flashback Time!

Click here to see the dragon's story in video

Oh, what's this? You're a knobby little something or other aren't you? A scrawny, scaley, runt of a gitty fish.



Who dares to speak to the, uh, Great Dragon...of the Empire with such insolence!

Behold the flames of my wrath!





Ha ha ha! Oh, oh beg mercy, my Lord



Avert your eyes! My gaze is terrible! I am a dragon!

Ha ha ha!

Well, I'm sort of a dragon, after a fashion, you know. If you dare look into my eyes, I'll turn you into...uh...jelly!



It's stone, you idiot! Not jelly!

Ah, stone, right.



*draws sword* You gonna give me any trouble, runt?







*into radio* Everything's under control here.



Tough break. So you're out of commission, huh? Well I'm sure this kindly adventurer here won't mind the extra load.

Thanks.

Well, I'll admit that if I was choosing a dragon to be a part of the team, I probably wouldn't pick one that faints at the first sign of a blade. But seeing as how you don't have a body and being a brave dragon wouldn't have really helped us anyway, welcome aboard!



Now as I continue along the path, I come to a opening that's covered with plants.

This place looks sort of familiar.



The rank undergrowth prevents eastward movement.

Well, it's about time I use my sword for something. Having had it for all of 2 minutes and all, I'm feeling a need to cut something.



There we go.

Ah ha! Onward then, into the foliage!



Well this is a little strange to see underground, but it's rather nice. Cozy, and all that.

That's my house! And this is my garden! I'm home! I'm home. Eh.

Well I at least think it's nice.



Well, I found a tiny little shed, inside of which there is...



My gardening tools. Scroll, shovel. Shovel, scroll.

Well, I'll take both of those. Shovels can come in handy. And inside the scroll we find...



Another spell! This one causes vegetation to grow. That could be handy...at some point...well it could! I can think of plenty of times when I would want vegetation to grow. Like, um, well I don't want to tell you about them, but I've got some good reasons, just know that.

Moving on.



Hey look, eggplants.



As I'm walking up to the door on this cottage, I'm noticing that I'm hearing someone kind of hum a song. It's catchy, really catchy. I have a feeling this is going to be stuck in my head for a while. (editor's note: I'm not kidding, whenever I do this section, this damn little song thing is stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Drives me crazy. Check out the video at the end of the update to hear it, if you must.)



I wonder who could be humming that song. Oh well, let's head inside.


Click here to see us fail at opening a door due to some vines

Son of a bitch, the door is talking and singing. And I've gotta say, it's sounds kind of drunk.

Hey, baby. This is the Dungeon Master's home security system. You ain't getting in here, so don't even try.

I have a great home security system, but he's got some bad habits. Harry! It's me! C'mon Harry, let me in.

Oh yeah? Well, you got any ID, "me"?

Do I look like I "got any ID"?

You look like a lamp. I don't care if you're the Dungeon Master himself. You're still not getting in here.

Now what kind of self respecting alarm system would let you do that?

Dude, you suck. You can't even get past your own alarm system. Oh well, I guess we'll scratch this for now. Let's get the hell out of here, this song is driving me crazy.









After continuing down the path, I've come to this.





The door seems locked, so let's use our Rezrov spell to unlock it and head inside.





Ah! My Alma Mater. The most prestigious spell casting institution in all of Zork. And I was first in my class, too!

I've got to say, this place kind of looks like crap, as universities go. I've always prided myself on being a scholar myself, and I must say...oh hey, a cool sign!





The sign seems to be changing between these two statements. And I've got to say, the second is more interesting. Bottomless pits?



Well that can't possibly be true. It can't actually be bottomless. In fact, to prove this, I'm going to jump in.







Right, well, I should probably listen to that sign about bottomless pits.

But throcking the grass seems like a damn good idea, I must say. I mean, what else am I supposed to do with a spell that grows vegetation?


Click here to see how well this goes

Okay, let's grow this shit.





Ah! Aah! Aaaaaah!!!!





You know what, I've got a better idea. Why don't we just assume that sign knows what it's talking about.

Over to the left here, we have this turnstile like device.



If you want to get in you're going to have to pass the entrance exam. The Three Pillars. They test your aptitude for visualization, pattern recognition, and and clicking.

Well, I like puzzles, so this shouldn't be too hard.



There we go, the image of destruction seems to be the way to go.



And with that, the bottomless pit in front of us has been bridged, so we may move forward to yet another bottomless pit! And here to the right I see yet another puzzle.





Fiddling around with this one, I seem to have found the correct image it was looking for, because the way forward is now able to be walked across.



And then here on the left we see our final puzzle.





And moving this one around and I seem to have solved this one as well.



Um, wow. That actually looks like a real window. It looks so real I want to touch it. So I do.



What the...? How did I end up here? Well, however it happened, I have to admit that this is a much nicer university than I originally thought.

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For anyone who wants to see how all this looks in motion:
Video of everything we did this update.

Tune in next time, as we explore the collegiate world of magic!