Part 27: Episode 26: Nice Day for a White Wimpa

Episode 26: Nice Day for a White Wimpa

After a restless night, I gathered my things and went out toward The White Caverns.


Immediately upon entering the caverns, I could see a giant killer snake in the distance. This would set the tone for my stay here.


Alright buddy, let's get this over with. Bite me or whatever.


Blue stuff coming out of his nostrils…ice breath probably. I pulled up my trenchcoat to cover my face.






Bravo ice snake. Bravo. I did not anticipate you forming a cloud above my head that would both lightning and snow on me.


Now Die.


Aside from the thundercloud snakes, there were this mutant seal looking things called snow suckers.


And boy oh boy did they live up to their name.


But I don't swing that way. So they had to die.


You can't see it because of the poor camera angle, but there was another of my dark bug friends frolicking in the snow. I quickly grabbed him from his icy playground and slapped him into my elementor host, increasing the power of my MysTech. I got to thinking that maybe Freeze MysTech wasn't the best choice for the Ice caves. I slapped a white bug in the second function slot of the Bivice. Instead of shooting ineffective ice blasts, I now also had the option of healing myself.


After fighting an endless stream of thundersnakes and snow suckers (And not enjoying it one iota. I promise.) I came across an oh-so conveniently placed box with a Supershot in it. Supershot gave me the ability to jump many feet in the air and shoot a devastating blast downwards, damaging all enemies in the vicinity. I'm pretty sure it also is not designed to be reminiscent of Lumenaire at all.




My finely tuned deductive skills told me that I was getting near to my target.


When all of a sudden I was attacked by three deranged rabbits with…sharp pointy teeth?


Actually they just had big fists and a penchant for punching my privates.


I tested out the healing from the Bane MysTech. It felt even better than gold bond. Now it was time to dish out the pain.


I jumped what must have been 20 feet in the air.






Sayonara. Such is the fate of all who crotch punch Sly Boots.

The path ahead lead into a large room with body parts and bones scattered into four neat piles.


In one such pile, I saw my own head. Well, I guess this explains the mystery of what happened to Peter from the village. I guess he deserved it. Cheater.

I entered the room, ready for a fight. / Backup
 Since this is a bossfight (and one that I enjoy at that!), I'll give a little more explanation. Wimpa starts off small but grows large after you deal a little bit of damage. He has three main attacks. First off he can yell. When he yells, it makes something fall from the ceiling next time he has a turn. Boots has to move in order to avoid the attack. As little Wimpa, some snow falls from the ceiling and does minimal damage. As large Wimpa, he makes ice chunks fall, doing 1800 fixed damage. When large, Wimpa will punch, doing 1200 irreducible damage. Both forms can throw a snowball, which does very light damage. The basic strategy is to attack at range, shooting him in the crotch with cap when the bouge bar fills. Aerial Trigger also does nice damage if you happen to not have line of sight. Whatever you do, just don't sit at melee range and let him smack you around.  


So yeah…are there enough crotch shots in this for you?


I ran to the general store to buy some supplies when I ran into George. He offered to make something out of the wimpa pelt that I had peeled from the corpse of the snow monster (not shown in video). A few hours later, he returned to me with a Wimpa Peltcell, now with 50% more NRG and the same protection from freezing you know and love.


I also went and had a chat with the boy's family. If the parents weren't around, I would have exacted unholy retribution on the boy for his previous attack.
"Son…! My boy. Oh, my son, we were so scared for you. I thought you were away with God," the father, who looked suspiciously like Squinty George, said.
The mother said, "Sweet, sweet Joseph. Where have you been? Where have you been, boy?"
"Uh-wandering and such," the boy said sheepishly.
Seeing me enter, the father turned to me and said, "I can't believe it, sir. I'm overwhelmed with happiness. A reward! We MUST give you a reward!"


I guess that'll undo some of the damage your boy caused…I didn't do this for the reward afterall.
"You look disappointed," he said.
"Don't be cheap, Howard! He saved little Joseph."
"Oh, alright. How about this?"


Even though I already had one, I was sure that another one would come in useful eventually. I gave the family my best wishes and ran toward the inn.


As promised, Laurie was waiting in front of the Fairweather Inn. I hoped that I hadn't kept her waiting for too long. Should I tell her about Peter? After leading her on, trying to repair her relationship with the late Peter, I couldn't bring myself to do an about face and tell her that he was dead. She looked solemnly into the snow as I approached uneasily. Fortunately, she decided to say the first word.
"I thought about everything you said to me last night, and I want to give you back your anniversary gift," she said. "It's not what you're thinking. I want to stay with you, Peter. But I want you to keep this as a reminder. Be responsible. Don't toy with people's emotions or you risk losing them forever. Please. Take it and go. I'll see you tonight."


What kind of schmuck gives a lady a bug for an anniversary gift? Her words hung in the air as I sulked away. She was more right than she knew.


I went back to Burgomaster Benning's residence to make my report. I told him about the thundercloud snakes, the wimpa, and everything.
He chuckled. "You're telling me the feral child was not a child at all but a shape-shifting ice beast? I'm supposed to believe that? Really, Guillermo, there's no need to lie to me about such things. If you didn't find him, just-"
He was cut off by the sound of rocket thrusters. It sounded like it was getting closer instead of just passing by.
"Did you hear that? It sounds like there's a shuttle landing outside. Have the ring-dwellers returned?"

I went outside to investigate / Backup

I'd never forget the look on Laurie's face when she saw me board the ship with Sera. I guess eventually she'd figure out that her Peter was dead and that I was really Guillermo. This wasn't really how I wanted her to find out. I felt like a huge jerk. But back on the ring of Democratus, we had other things to worry about.

End: So we're back on track for going to Limbus. Next update will probably be very little story and very much item collection. Thanks to everyone for the support!