Part 31: Chapter Thirty One: Princess Maker

: The Princess of Tunlan, I presume?

: Yes?



: We would appreciate it very much if you would reconsider your decision to give the TmKey to Emperor Zog.

: What? Why would you…oh, I see. That old hag put you up to this, didn’t she? I know what this is all about!



: The TmKey is to be Lord Zog’s wedding gift for when we are married. It will be a truly marvelous occasion!

: How could anyone love such a tyrant? I am the princess of Winlan, and your ‘Lord Zog’ had my father poisoned for not surrendering to him!

: *Sniff* Lord Zog would never do such a thing! It was probably one of his generals acting on his own…if Lord Zog found out about it the one responsible would surely be punished. I will be sure to tell him the next time we meet.

: What about the destruction of Drogen and Tuntar? The sacking of Nanai and the attempted destruction of Prima? Surely you know of these crimes.

: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Lord Zog is a great, strong and generous man. With the power of the goddess Tyr, he will usher in a golden age for the whole world, with me as his Queen.



: Your words are madness. Zog is simply using you to get to the TmKey!

: None of this is any of your business! Now leave, before I have you all clapped in irons!



: I apologize. We tried to talk to her, but…





: There’s just one problem. Only the princess can open the vault where the TmKey is stored.

: Man, I remember that door. I could probably get it open eventually, but it’d take time we don’t have.

: No need for that, young man. The solution to the lock is carried by the princess herself.



:…I’m not sure what you mean.

: Ohoho, how innocent you are. Not to worry, though. I understood perfectly. First, we must wait until nightfall.



: Okay, now what?

: Now just follow me.







: This wall looks to be in a sad state, don’t you think? The bricks are rather loose…Ox, if you would.

:…Very well. I will move them.

: Excellent. Now, let’s go through here…



: Wait wait wait just one second! We’re not going to…we’re not actually going to spy on her taking a bath, are we?!

: Wait, what?!

: Oh, don’t be such babies. You heard the old woman – the marks are on her back. What better way to see them than when she’s in her bath?

: Well…I suppose…if we have to…

: Cover your eyes if you’re so concerned. I’ll be the one to look, never you mind.







: Excellent. Now we can go down to the vault. You can stop covering Ryu’s eyes now, Nina.

: Hmph!



: Try the left door first.



: Did you push them?

: Yes. I heard something moving inside the door.

: I dunno…didn’t sound like any locking mechanism I ever heard.





: Um…that didn’t sound good.

: This doesn’t seem to be working.

: Nonsense! We saw the marks when the princess was bathing. There was nothing blocking our vision or anything. And not a word from you, Nina!



: Reverse the order!



Suddenly, the statues jump up and down and start going crazy whilst the pits at the back of the room open up!





They…then proceed to suicide themselves down the pits. Welp.



: How dare you try to open my vault! The TmKey belongs to Zog and I!

: Snap out of it princess! We all get older, you can’t stop it!

: Hmph! I have no need to listen to the self-pitying words of a decrepit octogenarian.







: Ryu, you must get the key by force!

: I had hoped it would not come to this, but it appears we have no choice.



: Guards! Get rid of them!



: Nooo!

: Yahhhh!





: Don’t let them take that key!

: What a mess!

: Heh.



: I’ve got it! I’ve got the key!

: Oh no!

: Lady Cerl! Your timing is impeccable!



: What?



: How pathetic!

: You wouldn’t understand. You’re already old.

: What did you say!?

: I’m only 8,054! Or was it 7,554? Something-something fifty four, anyway. Either way I’m not even middle aged yet, you stuck-up little hussy!



: Come on, snake lady!



: That’s not my concern! I don’t like her. She’s worse than Nina.



: And at least I do not have her atrocious taste in men!



: My, my, such vitriol. Amusing as it is to watch you wallow in your own incompetence, I really must be going.



: I’m outta here!

Cerl teleports away.



: NO! Come back! Argh! You cretins!



:…Deal with it.

: Guards! Don’t let them get away!





The room erupts into chaos.

Music: 25 – Carnival



: Wait!

: Yikes! What was that?!



: No! Don’t!

:…Haven’t we had enough disasters for one day?





Oh. Oh dear. Is everyone alright? We'll be finding out tomorrow.