Part 22: Bandit Camp
Chapter 13 Bandit Camp
Goblin Hamlet
To Bandit Camp
Bandit Camp
Noryfundus
I decided to stop by Broken Valley to check for new items. The stores only change their items after you level up. If you go to town after you get your creature, the guards comment.
You tamed Naberius' creations, didn't you? Maybe now those beasts will stop running amok in the valley.
That seems to be a slightly mild reaction to a massacre accidentally caused by the local necromancer.
Goblins can drop body parts for our creature, but well basically get all of our body parts from random loot. Yes, Merchants will buy rotting limbs.
The merchant Lamotte has unique items, but I didnt mention them because they were level 10.
I bought the Adventurers Band for the Regenerate bonus. Regenerate is actually a level 15 skill. Wearing this increases my health regeneration from 0.5% per second to 0.71%.
I also bought some potion formulas The Rank 1 Limited Strength and Limited Full Resistance (Armour), and the Rank 3 Healing potion.
Video: Goblin Hamlet
Instead of going across the bridge towards the west valley, Yara headed left, towards the tower.
The stone bridge had long since crumbled, but a wooden one had been put together. The tower was guarded by a group of skeletons.
(Yara) The gate is locked. Oh darn, were not getting in.
(Talana) You could have jumped to one of those openings even as a Slayer. Youre not fooling anyone you know.
Hey look, some more goblins.
Music: Goblin Village
A teleporter shrine, and another mystery lever.
You dont know what it does, and youre pulling it anyway?
Gee, Im sorry, I completely forgot about the instruction manual for this lever. It must be around here somewhere. Do you see it? No? Golly!
This chest contains an item for a non-official quest.
On the piece of paper is written a single word in a language you do not understand: Gamol. Maybe someone can decipher it for you.
There are four of these parchments in specific chests around here. Ill get two this update, but Im saving the others for later.
At this point I stopped and did another dungeon before picking the update up again. I swapped out some gear.
Yaras Current Auras
- Static Charge Aura Enemies have an 18% chance of suffering 1 shock of 18 magic damage.
- Retribution Aura 12% chance of retaliations of 12% damage received.
- Poison Aura 10% chance of 36 poison damage over 3 seconds.
- Poison Aura 7% chance of 4 poison damage over 3 seconds.
- Magic Damage Aura 5% Chance of 1 shock of 20 damage
Music: A New Dawn
Video: To Bandit Camp
Quite a lot of bandits. And they didnt even ask if I knew the password. It could have saved their lives. Oh well, fewer for the New Order to clean up.
Level 11. I do the usual 1/1/2 Vitality/Spirit/Strength.
Unarmed
Rank 3 -> 4, Damage: +29% -> +54%
(Willy) Slayer! Youre ready to buy now, Im sure of it!
(-400 XP) Soon Ill be even richer! Though I should remove my stash from among them no-good goblins by the mines.
Im still not interested.
Come on Im offering you some great deals! Theres Folos house and the possibility to build a brand new one! So what will it be, eh?
No deal, Willy.
I cant believe it! Of course you want a house! Just tell me which one!
You wont take a hint, will you?
You wont, Slayer, you wont! Next time youll buy from me. Such an opportunity you waste!
That man is trying my patience.
And youre trying mine. Lets call it even and go to Lovis Tower.
Ill save a game before we meet Willy for the last time and buy a house, but Im not going to let you vote on whether I throw 1500 gold into the privy or not. Im strapped for cash and havent had much luck with random loot.
This must be the mine. I think let me check my map Yeah, Ive passed the bandit camp. Well, while Im here Ill get the teleporter shrine at least.
Yara headed back the way she came. Off to her left she noticed a man pacing about arguing with himself. The most alarming thing was that he was swinging his axe at nothing.
(Eugene Jackal) Watch out you! Ive got an axe!
Careful there, Eugene! You look like youre about to lop your own head off!
(Eugene Clyde) He might well do so one day! Calm down, you maniac!
(Jackal) Shut yer claptrap. Ill swing axes all day if I like!
Uhm, how many of you are in there?
(Clyde) Im Clyde and that steel-wielding miscreant calls himself Jackal. But to make things easier we decided, after one hand squishing the other for a few hours, to go by the name of Eugene.
I can think of a few social situations that must be awkward.
(Jackal) Aint that the truth! Try living with prissy-pants here!
(Clyde) At least I never have to drop the r from that description! You have to help us Slayer! This life is unbearable!
How long have you two been sharing a body?
(Clyde) About a month. It seems we were both headed our separate ways when one morning we woke up in one and the same body.
(Jackal) Yeah, been travelling the same spot ever since cause I want to go to Aleroth, and Clyde to that collection of peasant hovels they call a village.
(Clyde) Neither of us knows what happened. We just found a note that says: Two are one and one is two, so ask yourself now who is who?
Bellegar! Bellegar! Bellegar!
How do you figure I can help you?
(Jackal) There must be some brew that will kill off whiny Clyde!
(Clyde) Youre the one with rabies, Jackal! Youre the one that should be put down!
I dont have time for this happy couple business!
(Clyde) But you have to help us, Slayer! I want to be the sole inhibiter of this body, and so does mister mad!
(Jackal) More than anything! Get rid of that straight-laced fob and Ill give you the magic ring hed never part with!
(Clyde) No! Remove this vile maniac and that axe of his will be yours!
(Jackal) (-100 XP) Shut up! Shut up!
(Clyde) No, no, you shut up!
(Jackal) No, youre talking to yourself!
Where should I start to look for a cure?
(Jackal) Dont rightly know! A goblin shaman could help maybe.
(Clyde) We tried that and you killed him because he, quote, gave you a funny look, unquote.
(Jackal) Who cares about another dead goblin anyway?
(Clyde) You dont, thats clear! But anyway, dear Slayer, perhaps you can find a doctor in the village who can help!
Ill see you two later!
(Jackal) Yeah, bye!
A doctor a doctor sounds familiar. Where have I met a doctor recently?
Method or Madness.
This is one of them ethical dilemmas. We cant separate these two, they were fused through magic far more powerful than normal. The only solution is to destroy one personality at the cost of the other. Both items have the same skill bonus which isnt normally found on a ring or axe. Unfortunately we cant use the axe, which will likely skew the vote to the ring, but Ill still have that vote be open.
Eugene, the axe-wielder was named after the Careful with that Axe Eugene song by Pink Floyd.
This must be the place.
The bandit camp is straight ahead. To the left behind some of those beams is a chest with the second piece of parchment.
On the piece of paper is written a single word in a language you do not understand: Miht. Maybe someone can decipher it for you.
Christopher gives you an attribute point for mind-reading him. This is possibly your only chance because if you take on a quest he gets a new mind-read. I dont actually know what happens if you go here without knowing the password.
(Christopher) Ive got an arrow sharp as a Demons tooth aimed at yer neck, buddy! You had better be in a mood to tell me what you want!
[+1 Attribute point]
Your wife sent me. You forgot your lunch!
I havent had no wife since the day she wouldnt quit naggin!
Thats not a healthy attitude you have there. Ever thought about consulting a doctor?
My fingers are starting to slip, funny pants!
Yes, yes, I want to enter the camp! What else did you think I was here for?
No one enters without giving the password!
Its Beetroot.
Damn, you know it! I love shooting people through the neck!
Music: Bandit Camp
Video: Bandit Camp
Welcome to the bandit camp. No, I have no idea what that big wall to the right is for. Also, Christopher looks different on the outside than the inside. They recycled so many faces and hairstyles, but they forgot to do that when it actually IS the same guy.
Theres a lot of dialogue from generic bandits that Im not transcribing, youll have to watch the video to see it.
(Christopher) I let ya in, so what more do ya want?
Tell me about the camp.
No! Sling your hook!
(Sybille) Oh, weve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?
1. Why dont you let me buy you a bouquet of long-stemmed roses before I answer that question.
3. Lets see I do like to bask in the sunset glow as my armour drips in the blood of sadistically slain enemies.
Well, this sure isnt the setting I was expecting such a question in.
I know and I apologize, its just that we
(Clement) Ahem, the thing is: we want to leave this camp. Weve had enough of this life. It was all fun and games in the beginning, but now me Sybilles pregnant and we dont want our child to grow up in this environment.
I dont know if youve noticed, but that wooden thing on hinges is a door. You may use it as a means of exit.
Thanks for pointing that out, but leaving is not as easy as that.
Ragnar is suspicious of us, thinks well betray the location of this camp. So he ordered Christopher the porter not to let us pass. But we must! The things they do here! The New Order may think we are mere bandits, but in reality we serve a vile necromancer! We saw him working once. The screams The horror No, we must get out of here!
Fine. How can I persuade this Christopher?
We dont know. Thats the problem.
Christopher never leaves his post. Its ridiculous. But if you can persuade him well give you our weapons. We wont need them anymore once our bandit days are over. Please find a way for us to leave yes? We just want a quiet life.
Couple Trouble
We dont actually get weapons, except as possible random loot for a standard quest reward. Theres no evil path to this quest, so were just going to do it. Its not hard if you talk to the right person. I tried getting them in trouble with my evil character, but I couldnt. I found that disappointing.
(Christopher) What?
Im bored and sober, but I wont drink one sip of the stale ale they server here. Ah. Id kill for a bottle of Rimmers Rum.
Nothing.
Good.
In Divine Divinity, Rimmer was a Dwarf who made some very good ale, and he sold it cheaply, too. 5 gold each. You could get 5 bottles free if you passed on a message from him to his brother (or the other way around). 5 bottles of Rimmers ale were required to get into the secret developer area.
(Quimby) So he was all like Please, please dont kill me!
(Jenett) Oh I hate it when they do that! Just slice em right away!
I did that! A real bleeder he was, soaked my boots!
Hello.
Watch it pretty. You dont want to get on my bad side!
A new face, eh! Just mind where you step, arite!
Well, I usually sneak up from behind, put a hand over his mouth and swiftly cut from ear to ear.
Try jamming your dagger through the vocal cords. No chance of screams that way.
Oh yeah, thanks for the tip!
In the event of an attack, the bandits can just close the gate and hold off the enemy for days, if need be. I may as well take off my helmet and look around.
Its good to see you adapting to your newfound agility so well, Dragon Knight, but try not to be so obvious about it.
You do that animation every time you climb a ladder. Its over-the-top, but awesome. The males have a different one which is a bit less awesome.
(Barney) My booze! All m m mine! No one HIC!... can find it! In tbushes. Nooo! Hehe HIC he!
Tagos gives you an attribute point for mind-reading him.
You there! Come over here! Ive got a little task for you!
[+1 Attribute Point]
1. All right, what is it?
2. As long as the reward is adequate, look no further!
The last guy who ordered me around no longer has the tongue to repeat his mistake.
Ha, spunky one arent you? Ill use my tongue before you lose your temper! I led a raid on a merchant caravan a little while back. I remember burying my axe in some skinny guys skull, then turning to strangle another. Afterwards I forgot to wrench it out of the corpse and my guard duty impedes my going back there. Go fetch that axe would you, youngster? It has a good many memories attached to it!
Not to mention a corpse. Fine, Ill go have a look.
Cordial of you, friend! Walk past the mine camp and follow the road down to the river. Cant miss it!
An Axe to Find
A simple fetch quest. When we get back we could tell him we want to keep the axe, and then we kill him, but we will be stuck with the axe in our inventory FOREVER, without being able to sell it or even put it into storage. And we dont even want to use it, so were handing it back.
Follow the ledge past Tagos into the bushes and you find Barneys booze stash. It has the Rimmers Rum we need for Christopher.
If you rescued Martis yourself, he shows up in one of the tents to the left and you can buy things from him. For some reason he didnt show up here, I dont know why.
(Layla) Back off, that sword is mine!
(Zachary) Bull! I carried it back here!
(Sloan) So what? Im the best with a blade anyway!
(Wallace) Pfah! You cant even swing a dagger properly!
(Layla) See this wound? Got it fighting with that New Order guy!
(Zachary) And that makes his armour yours? Dream on!
(Sloan) Yeah, youre not used to heavy armour anyway!
(Wallace) Takes a man of my posture! Give it here!
(Layla) Touch that bow and Ill gut you!
(Zachary) Oh go on, try me!
(Sloan) Yeah, go on: gut each other! More for the rest of us!
(Wallace) More for me, you mean! Ill not share with you, you little cretin!
(Layla) Ill take this and this and
(Zachary) Hey, get your inbred hands off of that gold!
(Sloan) Ha! Yeah, let the pure bloods have it!
(Wallace) Big talk from a product of sibling romance! Hehehe!
Hi!
(Doreen) Do me a favour, would you? Go jump off a cliff. Preferably head first.
What is THIS? Wait, I picked up a book over there, something about a temple.
Laiken so not a cat after all.
Ah, the sharpness of a mind sculpted by Dragon Slayers.
(Leda) I have not seen you here before. Why do you approach the temple?
To survive the temple is to know the motto: All are equal in death and in its black eternity even the poorest shall walk the same path as kings.
Im looking for the lavatories.
Do you consciously endeavour to be hanged by your own bowels?
Quite a sense of humour you have. Must be the time of the month.
Ill not have our master mocked, stranger, for he is a being of great might and wisdom.
You dont say? And what is the masters name?
Lord Laiken, powerful wizard and Dragon Knight.
A Dragon Knight called Laiken? Nonsense. Hes an impostor. But I think I know where his lair is.
Sounds like a job for the Dragon Slayers!
Mention that rabble again and Ill have my men feed you your own reproductive organs. Now tell me why you are here!
See that big stone building behind you? Thats why!
Anyone here may freely enter, but know that to enter is to participate in the gauntlet. Lord Laiken designed the temple so that only the worthy can approach him. The only one who has been able to do this is our leader Jagon. Hes in there now. So do go in and face the trials. I wish you a slow and painful death.
Sounds fun! But maybe later.
The Temple of Doom
Yeah, no way were going in there now. Its HARD. Ledas mind does contain a vital clue, so I hope you paid attention. Its the place where well need our bow. I gave it a shot without one, and it might technically be possible to do without a bow, but it would be tedious and uninteresting to watch.
(Ragnar) Let me take a look at you! Strong arms, looks like youve seen some action Yes, youll do!
If your request is to discreetly retire to your tent, Im going to have to decline!
Ha! Youre not my type, you rascal! No, Id like you to assist in a robbery. Some of my men will ambush a group of nobles bound for Broken Valley. I recently learned, however, that they are protected by New Order soldiers. Some back-up wouldnt hurt and you look like the right type!
If I get my share of the loot, then fine youve got your back-up.
Of course youll get your fair share! Were not savages, you know! Theyll follow the road leading from Orobas Fjords past the tower and temple. If you find the wreckages of a caravan, then follow the road towards the tower and youll get there soon enough.
Id get my fair share of the loot in the temple if it didnt mean having to run the blasted trial. To think the key to the biggest prize of all lies there for the taking on the Dragon statues head.
Daylight Robbery
This quest can be done without getting the quest, actually. The robbery takes place at a certain place on the map, whether you go to the bandit camp or not. We can choose sides here, but the reward is identical. Vote at the bottom.
(Christopher) What?
You look thirsty my good man! Can I interest you in a drink? Real Rimmers Rum
Rimmers Rum! Oh, that is grand of you! Im out of here. Gonna lie by the river and get drunk out of my skull. Huzaa!!
You can find him out on the bridge after this.
(Christopher) Now now this is the life. I dont even care about the gate, you hear! I dont!
(Sybille) We saw Christopher leave! How did you do it?
The rum did it, really.
(Clement) To think that was all it took! This is great news, great news indeed. Here are our weapons. May they serve you well.
Goodbye, kind bandit, and thank you!
"Couple Trouble" complete! Quest Reward: 1500 XP, 400 gold. Bonus Chosen: 750 XP.
We have yet to meet Lord Lovis, but you have the time to aid a couple of ex-murderers? Axe murders more likely!
You can later find Christopher lying on the bridge, enjoying his rum.
Goblin Hamlet
To Bandit Camp
Bandit Camp
Noryfundus
Bandit Camp
The Maps
Overall
Goblin Hamlet
Outside Bandit Camp
Bandit Camp
Noryfundus
Video: Noryfundus
Off to the left of the bandit camp, across the stream is this merchant partly hidden from view.
(Noryfundus) Slayer, please, you look rather tired. Rest here for a bit and in the meantime: have a look at what I sell.
Why dont you trade in the village like the other merchants?
Oh, that lot doesnt like me cause I sell so cheap. But those who desire real bargains, they know where to find me!
(25% discount) Hehehe. Some fake enchantments are all I need to get rich. Certainly the earrings are real, but whod want those?
In case you missed the meaningful name, Noryfundus -> no refunds.
Everything except the earrings turns into crap. The earrings are not very good, but they DO have three enchantment slots, which would be nice if I had some worthwhile enchantments and the ingredients to put them into the earrings. Still, I might come back for these later.
My favourite customer! Lovely to see you again.
Hey merchant! You sold me a fake sword! Where is the magic it is supposed to carry?
Fake? Surely youre mistaken! But feel free to buy another one!
This shield is not enchanted at all! What is going on here?
What are you talking about? Try another if youre not happy.
This is supposed to be a good bow? You have got to be kidding me!
Kidding? Me? Never! Im a serious businessman. Come let me prove it to you!
These boots are a joke! This is an outrage!
Im sorry you do not find them to your satisfaction. Another pair will take care of that!
This ring is as useful as diarrhoea on a date! I demand a refund!
No refunds, Slayer, but you can always buy another!
As if getting suckered so brazenly wasnt bad enough, after any of those lines you automatically enter the trade menu.
(Sybille) Oh, weve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?
Why dont you let me buy you a bouquet of long-stemmed roses before I answer that question.
Oh! How attentive! Oh. I I just got it.
(Sybille) Oh, weve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?
(Pyrania) Lets see I do like to bask in the sunset glow as my armour drips in the blood of sadistically slain enemies
Not what I had in mind, but close enough.
You can ask Christopher if he would be willing to let them go.
How much would it take for you to turn a blind eye for a bit and let Clement and Sybille sneak out of the camp?
(Christopher) I dont know. But it would cost you your tongue should I tell Ragnar about this. Now get lost!
Lord Laiken, powerful wizard and Dragon Knight.
Impossible, my dear! The last of them was called Talana and I watched her die.
I know not this Talana you speak of, but rest assured Lord Laiken is a Dragon Knight! Oh, and address me like that again and Ill have my men feed you your own reproductive organs. Now tell me why you are here!
Three rabbits died this update as a result of my poison aura jewellery.
Total Bunnies Killed: 3.
History of the Dragon Knights, Part 2
An ABC of Dragons
Tenets of the Order of Dragon Slayers
Reader Participation
1. Weve got a dilemma with Eugene. Do we:
a) Kill the crazy Jackal (Reward: Jackals Axe)
b) Kill the mild-mannered Clyde (Reward: Clydes Ring) (Default) = 1 Vote
2. As you may have seen in the video, some bandits are squabbling over some weapons they looted.
a) Let them sort it out themselves. (Nothing happens.)
b) Resolve the problem by taking it ourselves and killing them when they object.
3. Weve been asked to participate in a daylight robbery. Do we:
a) Help the bandits slaughter and rob the travellers?
b) Help the travellers slaughter the bandits and claim that there were too many of them to the bandit boss? (Default) = 1 Vote
4. An old soldier wishes to die honourably in battle, not of old age.
a) Honour his request and fight him.
b) Refuse to fight him.