Part 2

Adam and Noah? ...pretty lazy on the naming there, guys. "Hey, the bible has some good names! Eh, this is a lot to read through. Let's just go with names from the first book for now."

: "That's us!"

: "Thank goodness! We have been waiting for many hours."

It's not like you have anything better to do, I'm sure. You guys don't even get HBO over here, do you?

: "I am Nicanor, from the Ecology Emergency Network. I am your contact with the tribes in this region."

: "Yes, I remember your fax. Is something wrong?"

: "Yes, we have a problem with the supplies. Mail is uncertain, you know."

Mail...is...what? Didn't we bring the supplies with us? I'm confused.

: "Let's check it out! Son, look around but don't go far."

Yeah don't go out and save an ecosystem again because you really worried me last time.

I want ice cream!



"Do you mind -- we're on a break! So, like I was saying to her, you gotta be nuts if you wanta go live in the jungle again...Do you mind? This is private!"

: "Sorry!"

Gab gab gab. It's the same in every country.



Time to go explore this random third-world country now. By myself. Nothing unsafe about this.



Oh, hey, it's that douche again.

: "Get a move on, Gonzales! I want to get to camp in this lifetime."



Ahahahahaha. The biggest virgin of the rainforest.

: "I'll say it slow -- get the stuff loaded and let's get out of here!"

: "Yessir. DIDJA HEAR THAT? EVERYBODY HURRY UP OR YOU WON'T GET PAID!"

The funny thing is that no one on this screen actually responds to this, so I just assume he's yelling to himself.

"Hey kid, hold up a second!"

Jesus now what.



That's either a bird, or a giant blue thumb. Gotta love early 90's graphics. Crysis, this aint.

: "Good day, my young friend. I see you are just off the boat."

Good guess, considering I'm one of four white guys we've seen so far - one of whom is a pompous douchebag and the other one is floating away on a balloon right now.

: "It was a plane, actually."

zing

: "Hahahaha! you are most humorous and clever. I am seeking a person such as yourself."

: "Why?"

So that I can drug you and sell you to the third-world sex slave market or possibly sell your organs.

: "Well, I find I must sell this parrot. It is very sad. I have owned him since he was an egg. But I must feed my family. I would feel so much better to sell him to a kind little boy like yourself."

...or I guess he wants to sell me wildlife. Whatever.

: "If, of course, you have enough money."

: "How much?"

: "How much money do you have?"

: "I don't think I should answer that."

Very perceptive, seeing as how he could knife you at anytime.

: "As you wish. Do you want to buy or not? If you want to buy, just give me your money."



...that looks like a dollar. A dollar and fifty cents. It's not even the right currency.

: "What a coincidence! Exactly the right amount. Are you a mind reader, kid?"

: "I doubt it. Can I have the parrot now? Or do I call my dad?"

: "Here, little one, go to the boy. I'll miss you."

At this point, the bird bit him.

: "Why, you miserable lump of feathers! I should have eaten you!"

: "Never mind him! Fly home!"

What do you mean home? He just sai that he raised the bird from birth.



Well...that was a waste of a dollar fifty.

: "You crazy kid! Do you know how hard it is to catch those?"

...oh. I guess he was lying after all.

: "Hey, I bought him. Do you want me to call my dad?"

He'll knife Al Boreland too, dude. Stop with the lame threat.

: "To be sure, it is your parrot, my young friend. Do what you wish. Have a most excellent day."

So now we have no money and no parrot. Fortunately, I think Adam's smart enough not to get into any trouble in this strange new land.



God damn it.