Part 21: Page 21: Ender's Game
Page 21: Ender's GameCrystal Room
I know, Boco. I'm tired of these stupid things too.
Yay, Shocking Shuffle.
Prelude
Mini Red Riding Hood: Shocking Shuffle Prologue
Red made it through the forest and delivered the medicine to her grandmother, curing her back pains. The two of them spent the rest of the day together eating delicious food and sharing exciting stories. Eventually exhausted by the day's activities, the two of them found themselves sound asleep inside Grandmother's warm bed.
But the next morning, something unbelievable happened: Ramuh appeared in a great clap of thunder, and whisked Red's grandmother away!
But why would Ramuh, so gentle and kind, do such a thing?
Confused by the turn of events, Red dashed after Ramuh's cloud as quickly as she could. Would Red be able to rescue her grandmother and get home safely?
Did you already forget the whole 'Lightning Labyrinth' thing you had to deal with in the prequel to this story? God damn. "So gentle and kind" my ass.
The only thing we can do right now is do Versus 1. So, let's do that.
Battle Theme
Shocking Shuffle Versus 1
This game's not too bad, mainly because it's not at all hard to win. It does help that the somewhat iffy controls don't really matter thanks to this game not requiring tight controls. It's okay if I fumble a bit because the game is pretty forgiving.
As for what you have to do to win? Just avoid being in front of Ramuh's cloud when he's shooting the electricity. The AI will kill themselves; I usually don't have to do anything. Strangely enough, hitting someone with a tackle in this minigame doesn't give them hitstun, while it does in Hide and Shriek. Did they seriously program completely separate behaviors? That's remarkably inefficient.
I got hit, but that's because I was dumb.
Victory
We didn't unlock anything except the next two levels of Versus. Back to the grindstone, I presume.
We've got a real challenge this time (real being used in the sense that it's more than just win (because this isn't hard at all)).
Battle Theme
Shocking Shuffle Versus 2
The only difference with four players instead of two is that it takes three times longer to win. I do have to pay attention in this match to make sure I don't get hit, but that's the extent of my struggles.
Strangely enough, the last two Jailbirds died first, without the first one even being touched.
Victory
For what it's worth, the point breakdown. It's all based on how long you stayed alive.
This gift is for not getting hit. It's not very good in my opinion, though it has a high chance of dealing 8 damage - most blue cards attack on the bottom. 4 damage isn't anything to laugh at, either: it's anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of their max health.
Just for beating Versus 2, though, we get an epilogue.
Prelude
Mini Red Riding Hood: Shocking Shuffle Epilogue - Familiar Places
Dodging fierce lightning bolts, Red chased after Ramuh and his getaway cloud. When she finally caught up with Ramuh and her grandmother, they were by the seaside.
Red's grandmother looked around her, then began crying softly. "Your grandfather and I had countless happy times here before he passed away. It's been so long, but some things never change. The color of the sea... The sound of the waves... The smell of the saltwater... Oh Ramuh! How can I ever thank you?"
Perhaps the rain that falls during thunderstorms is nothing more than the joyous tears of those brought back to familiar places.
Short and relatively sweet. Ramuh's not really an asshole. Unfortunately, I didn't catch the reward we got, but it was another diary in the abandoned mansion.
On to the next one. Remember, we need to keep doing this until we've restored the crystal.
Battle Theme
Shocking Shuffle Versus 3
This one's just a simple win condition. No sweat.
I may or may not be crushing them easily with little to no effort expended on my part.
Victory
Anyway, that's the end of this book for this update.
Because in addition to unlocking Versus 4 and 5, we've got another epilogue.
Prelude
Mini Red Riding Hood: Shocking Shuffle Epilogue - Home Remedy
Dodging fierce lightning bolts, Red chased after Ramuh and his getaway cloud. When she finally caught up with Ramuh and her grandmother, they were inside the thunder god's shrine.
In the middle of the room was a bed, and on the bed was a beautiful young girl. She seemed to be suffering from a terrible fever.
"Here, you should try this," said Red's grandmother, as she pulled a crimson leaf from inside her bag.
The medicine worked like a charm, and the young girl was up and about in no time. "Thank you, Grandma! And thank you, too, Mini Red Riding Hood!"
From that day on, Ramuh, touched by the kindness of the human heart, made an effort to make lightning only strike high-up places like the tops of trees or mountains, where there wouldn't be many people around.
Ramuh status: still not an asshole. In addition, it's possible the girl in the story is a reference to Rosa from Final Fantasy 4. Neat, huh?
Alright! We got what we came here for!
Crystal Room
Boco! Heed the tale which I shall weave for you. It is a tale which began long ago and continues to this very time and place. The four heroes who defeated Bebuzzu sealed his spirit inside the pages of a magical tome. To prevent the seal from ever being broken, they bestwoed their power upon the crystals to watch over the island for all eternity.
God DAMN this guy is windy.
You see, this very island is the tomb in which Bebuzzu lies, bound by the power of the heroes and the crystals. For as long as the bloodline of the four heroes remains just, the seal over Bebuzzu will remain in place. However, if even one of their descendants is tainted by--
Oh, what's this? If even ONE? Gee, I wonder...
Strange. It physically hurts to agree with her.
You're a bigger earsore than that goody two-shoes girl over there!
Irma, wait! The descendants of the heroes... Does he mean--
Ignorance is bliss, dear! Now rise, Bebuzzu, with the power of light!
To be honest, I'm always looking forward to this part. I wonder what ridiculous form he'll take this time...
One more meal to go! Should be a memorable feast!
Here it comes...
...Huh. That's... underwhelming. He turned into the Eye of Sauron.
It has been nearly 400 years since I last took on this form. Boco, you've done well in pushing me this far! But all your efforts shall end in futility! I will, however, show respect to your strength... by putting an end to your pitiful existence as painlessly as possible!
He looks smaller in the map.
Bask in the brilliance of my greatest power--the fury of light!
IT'S. THE FUCKING. WIND. CRYSTAL. YOU SHITS.
The Decisive Battle
Boco vs Bebuzzu Core
Oh hey, that's neat. You can see the actual book inside the giant eyeball.
Anyway, this should be the last fight with Bebuzzu. That's the fourth crystal eaten, and this'll be the fourth time we beat him up in a
I killed him with Omega Weapon
Fuck. Yes. Omega Weapon is a fucking BEAST.
Mako Reactor
Yes... Yes... Just as I wanted...
Wait, hold the phone. What's this?
You've done exactly as I wanted, Boco. Sincerest gratitude!
Wait a minute, that...that's not what he's supposed say! (Then again, it's about time we got a decent plot twist!)
Oh Cid, you card
Heh-heh-heh... Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
...And that was for me to gain the power of each crystal, and then be defeated--one, two, three, four times!
That's absolutely absurd!
That does seem remarkably specific.
Poor, sweet little Irma. You've served me well!
Served you!? What nonsense!
Don't tell me you didn't realize. Ah, of course... You wouldn't have been able to. Ever since you received that black crystal, your mind has been mine!
Not gonna lie, the fact that Bebuzzu's a giant floating spike ball of doom kinda makes this somewhat sinister.
But that's impossible! Black crystal, smite that blabbermouth at once!
The black crystal is sucked up and eaten.
Eek!
You should have listened, woman! The black crystal belongs to me. To be more precise, the black crystal and I are one and the same!
It...can't...be...
Mwa-ha-ha-ha! And you! Boco! Do you know why I didn't turn you into a chocobo card as well, back on that fateful day?
We're the protagonist?
I saw the future! A future in which you released the power of all four crystals for me! You and Irma were nothing but mindless pawns, guided step by step with my brilliant foresight.
There is one more ceremony left to be performed, and you're at the top of the VIP list! You just have to be there, because once the festivities are over... there will be NOTHING left of this pathetic world!!!
After eating Irma, Bebuzzu morphs back to his book form.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
Well, fuck. That didn't end at all as planned.
Oh no! We have to rescue her!
Before we do anything, let's get back to the farm!
Irma, hang in there! We'll save you!
....fuck. I give up. Five crystals, one of them is a Light crystal, the Wind crystal doesn't exist. Fuck it.
Chocobo Village
Let's split up and search!
Right! Taking that Darkmaster out of circulation will be cinch!
There's no time to waste! I've got a feeling the final battle looms near!
Well, we could go do that. Or we could go finish off those books. Choices, choices...
Next time: SO MANY BOOKS