Final Fantasy IX Part #39 - Commentary on the Current State of the Video Game Industry

Part 39: Commentary on the Current State of the Video Game Industry

fuck the super bowl full of poseurs go chargers or go home

OH SHIT

"BEEEEEEEELLLLLLCH"

I WOULD BE SO THREATENING RIGHT NOW IF I WASN'T CUTE AND MARKETABLE

(also note the reference to vivi's theme at the end of the fmv there, it's what separates them men from the boys. but hey not everyone is as good at noticing musical stuff as i am so while it's very hard to understand i suppose it is somehow possible that people can be be not-deaf and still think gutter trash like sakuraba can even come close to being comparable)

Oh now that's just cheating, Brahne must be looking directly at the map resources and spawning Modern Armors in my towns.

women

"Women.

This is Atmos.

"oh dammit what a time to lose a contact"

WOMEN

Atmos is

nowhere near this useful in the actual game.

"get on the ground you're gonna step on it"

"Look it's like right there, you made me miss the best part
you are so ridiculous"

"There are Alexandrian soldiers everywhere. You should stay out of their sight.
You know how they dislike Middle Easterners."
"But I'm not--"
"What's that? I can't hear you over that hat-like towel on your head"

"... but it was sooooooo awesome"

Oh, that Lowell guy? I wonder what he's up to these days. Probably still dressing up in his moogle fursuit and banging fat chicks.

You know you've done something very, very wrong with your game when people could give less of a fuck about your whiny shit player character whose mother died while each of these individual nameless NPCs are infinitely more heartbreaking.

"It's as if we've opened Pandora's Box..."

And this of course might be a slight nod to Banon's story about Pandora's Box in FF3/6 since the situation is comparable, though it's mostly likely just very general and incidental since Pandora's Box is such a broad metaphor.

At first glance, those things in the next are unmoving, but look like they have eyes. Are they, like, dead birds? No, thankfully, they're eggs.

"I won't ever see my newborn grandchild's face again."

"If their leader is a man named Justin...
Please tell him this.
Please tell him to stop what he is doing.
Tell him Nicole said so."

"Yes, Princess. The castle was spared.
Regent Cid is alive.
I will take you to see him."

"But 'Iole, Huihui, and Beatrix were left behind. I..."

"But I underestimated the power of the eidolons."

"It's only a disguise to deceive the enemy."

"A weapons dealer named Kuja is behind the recent string of attacks.
Kuja has been supplying Brahne with highly advanced magic weapons."

"Well sugar as well, but I figured you already knew that."
"Sugar...? Why would mother eat plain sugar?"
"Oh, to be, once again, so naïve"

Dr. Tot should re-evaluate his teachings. Obviously Holly didn't learn shit about geography.

Now they've used "ass" a number of times before in this script, so it's not like it's some sort of "forbidden" word, but I think this is just very discretional localization. I find out-of-place expletives detract from the experience, and this selectiveness is very respectable. It's also relatively reflective of Kilika's character: he's obscene, but he's not normally foul-mouthed. Very classy.

I had a really, really dirty mouth when I was a young'un. A long time ago, someone in my dorm, some years older than me, told me that he'd once been the same way. He rarely used foul language then; at the time, I rolled my eyes and thought only of holding on to my bad words. And yet, he was right. I write a lot of fucks and whatnot in this LP, but I rarely use them these days in actual speaking. It's a strange prediction to look back on.

unless i'm playing starcraft against asshole motherfuck whore bitches on the internet

"What about the new airship that can fly without Mist?"
"It's not ready yet. Besides, it's under Brahne's control.
Brahne gave us two conditions for our surrender.
One was the surrender of the new airship.
The other was to hand over the Falcon Claw. "