Part 10: Transgender Megathread

Chapter 10 - Transgender Megathread







Aeris: "And about the wig..."



Big Bro: "Yeah, I heard. But it'll cost ya."






"Big Bro!! The only way you're gonna get cuter is if you can beat Big Bro!"!

"So, you've got to compete with us."











The rules are pretty simple. You need to press Square, X and Circle in that order to perform a squat, but you can't do it too fast. You need to get the proper timing.

"I'm not going to lose."



Sure buddy, whatever floats your boat.

ROUND ONE.

Fight!







Hell yeah motherfuckers.

One could say... you're not getting squat.





The Blonde Wig is the best Wig. You can get a Dyed Wig if you tie, or a Wig if you lose.








I'm outta here.





Technically we have enough to proceed with the storyline. However, we can still make Cloud prettier.

So we decide to not change right now. Instead we're leaving to get better stuff for our pretty princess.

Also, split infinitives etc.



Let's go to the restaurant. We haven't gone there yet.





WHAT IS KOREA? THIS GAME IS RUINING MY IMMERSION



Well ordering the today's special seems obviously like the best idea, since it has the word special in it, let's be fair here.

Besides we're NOT eating at the bar.



That's damn expensive for food, lady.



If the best lie Cloud can come up with is "It was all right", I guess we'll go with it. No need to be an asshole to the lady who just charged us the price of a grenade for a bad diner.





Am I the only one who finds this promotion hilarious? "Here, we make bad food and send you straight to the pharmacy." I bet the owner of the pharmacy is the same as the restaurant.

Before we leave, our ADD demands us to talk more.





Glad to see everyone's doing well.

Well great, we got a pharmacy coupon. Let's wander around a little bit more, see what we can find before exchanging it.



I guess you're gonna have some issues here then.








Sigh, fine, we'll do your errands for you. Alright, let's go to the pharmacy.





I wish things worked like this in real life.



The only use we can have for this is the digestive, because of the lady in the bar having some serious issues. I can see how this can be misleading though, you might think that you're getting the deodorant for Cloud to be "prettier" but this is not how it works.







Well ain't that a convenient reward that makes no sense? Hooray.

If you give her the other crap from the pharmacy you either get a Flower Cologne or a Cologne (worst).



What.

On to the inn now, let's see what the dude wants.






Doing this in the Hardcore Mod is a total pain, I was out of gil by this point because I was buying - ironically - potions.

Anyway we buy the most expensive one because JRPG logic etc.







I'm not sure you're gonna do such better business by handling out stuff made of diamond to total strangers, dude.

Also a Tiara, seriously? Are we back in the 70s? Who WEARS those?

Anyway as you may have guessed - the cheaper items handle cheaper Tiaras. You can get a Ruby Tiara or a Glass Tiara.

I think we're done with the entirety of the Wall Market... except for one place we haven't been in yet. And by God, we must.



YES.



YESSS.



Yes it i-is.

Jap-goons, translate this shit properly, please:







I mean, seriously. If there's any dialogue in this game that needs a proper translation, this is it.



"Poo" is more or less cultural. It doesn't mean anything, it just means that the ladies are disrespectful to her clients behind their back and like to call them silly names that while meaningless are funnier in the context of the Japanese language.



I don't get why she wants me to hurry though, gosh the customer service in this game is terrible.



The music in this place is hilarious.

Let's take a look at this door here, sounds about right. Sounds gooood.




Damn they really DO dress like bees. Let's hope the fat tanned guy paid for more than just "Holding hands."



You're a Japanese character, just do a protein diet and you'll be fine.



Great our fake member card
doesn't grant us access to "peeking".





Japan has this weird "pervert" culture/stereotype, you see.



I'm not sure Cloud would fit, since he pretty much doesn't seem to care.



The Squall Line-of-thought applies to him in these situations.



Tee-hee.



*Dean's voice mimicking CSI* You can say that bee sex... stings.



I hear you lady, I do SS LPs.



THIS here is relevant.

Why? Because it shows the most distinct difference between FF7 and the newer J-Games. FF7 is savvy of its stereotypes, and by no means glorifies them.

If this game was made today the girl would be drooling over him.

Instead, she's just mocking him.



There's also the subject about how unemployable you are if you keep living like that. Specially because the CEOs of companies tend to be very conservative people.



It's not all that different, really. I suppose the difference is that if you visit Harajuku you'll be seeing people with weird haircuts and pounds of accessories instead of just weird haircuts.

Of course, you can also learn how to profit from that.

I don't need to go to Harajuku though. Did you know Brazil is the country with most Japanese people besides (obviously) Japan?
That's right bitches, we rule.






Stalkers is a serious fear in Japan, to the point where people would wear masks when posting stuff on Youtube. I think it's slightly less of an issue today as it was 10 years ago, but once again, it's cultural.

Since we're on crossdressers, youtube and fear of stalkers, I'll drop a video for you. POSSIBLY NMS/NWS but I think I should show you something from the real world to illustrate all the madness we're talking about.







Ok seriously, what the hell? Is Cloud really gonna flirt with that chick?



Well he's trying to make his fake member card worth it I guess. Many blablabla died to blabla this member card.





"I don't give a fuck Cloud, now go away."



It must be really sad to be sent away by prostitutes of a whorehouse where you have a member card access.





Well let's do it clockwise. What can possibly go wrong?





Cloud has reached Pervert Level 2 - You've now gained the skill Peeking



Ohh yeess that the stuff













Wait, what the hell?



Are you seeing what I'm seeing? I don't know. Fuck, maybe the drugs are affecting Cloud too.

Well there's only one thing we can do. JESSIE, ZOOM IN.



NOW INCREASE BRIGHTNESS.



NOW ENHANCE.

Jessie: Sir, I don't think we can go past that. The resolution is not good enough.

You're doing a great job, Jessie. Now why don't you change the angle a bit?



Jessie: I lost focus!!

Quickly, access the secondary camera system in the Honey Bee Inn. Triangulate their position with biquaternions and use it to sharpen the image.

NOW ENHANCE...



ENHANCE AND...
















AHHHHHH!
Fuck that I'm out of here.