Part 76: Mako Age
Chapter 75 - Mako Age
It's time for us to go around the world capture mythical artifacts in an order of our choice!
We'll start with Fort Condor.
You can start with either Fort Condor or Corel, but you have to do both before moving on with the plot.
Fort Condor is the easiest and fastest.
There are two ways we can do this.
We can actually try to defend Fort Condor, which is very easy.
Just spam catapults at the entrance and the fight won't last long.
As soon as we eliminate every single enemy on the field (even if there are enemies left to spawn) we win.
But that's no fun. We need to lose in order to fight the next boss, the enemy commander.
You can fight inferior versions of him anytime you lose a Fort Condor battle. This one drops a special item which I very much want.
Right.
We now have the [Imperial Guard], which is a very, very strong armor.
Uh
Holy moly.
That's some brutal cycle of life right there.
The [Phoenix] is a very unique summon, for a simple reason. It automatically revives everyone who's dead in your party. It shall be most useful.
We have now officially seen everything. Moving on.
I would sure hope so.
Worst investment ever.
And the reason we came here in the first place.
I'm not sure I would protect those condors. Did you see their size? And the GIGANTIC EXPLOSION that happens whenever they're born?
Yea, we don't care. We've got our materia, bye.
Ah, the Huge Materia. One of the most powerful artifacts in this world. Just like the silk dress, a blonde wig, a diamond tiara, a sexy cologne and, of course, the bikini briefs.
As you can see the World Map has been updated accordingly - there's no longer a Condor sitting at the Fort.
Time to go to Corel. There are some guards at the Reactor...
But nothing relevant to us at this point.
Well guys, you know how Barret likes to put it.
I'M GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN.
This part feels very complicated while you're playing but it's incredibly simple.
You get an extra psychological thrill from the music, the same used in other timed situations.
As you frustratingly feel you're going nowhere for 30-50 seconds.
Oh I think we're going faster
From the mount to the pasture.
Strangers on a train.
Either way it's suicide. I'm gonna jump the next train.
AHHHHHHHHH
Trains.
Since FF6 trains have kinda become a tradition in Final Fantasy, to the point the FF Wikia actually has a list of trains. Warning: There are spoilers in it.
This is WolfMeister, he's in the third wagon. He's notably one of the very few entities in the game who are vulnerable to Water.
He (amongst some few other monsters) fills the role of the Iron Giant. Iron Giants are traditional Final Fantasy enemies who typically come in Red and Blue colors. This (the boss) is the red version in this game.
IMMEDIATELY after Wolfmeister, we get to fight another boss in the next wagon and a chance to test Ungarmax. Hooray!
Best limit ever.
With 17,000 HP compared to Wolfmeister's 10,000 Eagle Gun takes a bit longer. To an unprepared party this fight can take a while, which isn't good since we're on a timer. Still, not the hardest boss we've faced by any stretch.
Besides being weak to Lightning those two barely count as bosses. They're weak to Gravity. While I'm sure I can insert a Flight of Icarus joke here somewhere, it's also worth the mention that you can steal [Warrior Bangle] from Eagle Gun.
Warrior Bangle is a unique armor that increases your Strength by 20 and offers a huge physical defense (96), at the cost of no materia growth. It's awesome.
Seriously.
There goes the train with the boy.
There goes the train without a destination, to find the new day.
We don't wanna ruin the only route to Gold Saucer. I still have hopes to go there again.
Crap we can't even read the instructions
Oh God did we just make it faster
OH GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE
Not conveyed in the screenshot: The train stopping. We're safe.
First things first. We're on a roll.
Couldn't they just have, I don't know, taken the materia away with an aircraft? They have plenty of helicopters. Why would they specifically have to carry it out on a train that would lead to nowhere? It's like they just want to mess up with people.
While we're at it, couldn't they have put those tents 10 inches away from the rails? I mean, I'm not an expert in urban planning but that old woman lives RIGHT ON TOP OF IT.
This would actually be a huge improvement from your current home. I've seen Lord of the Rings and let me tell you, deep tunnels can look fabulous.
Sure there are demons of old living in those but it can't be worse than all the horrid creatures that walk on the surface of the world already. Plus, no Godlike Terror Trains.
And we've got [Ultima]. Ultima is another traditional Final Fantasy spell and, in this case, with the potential to deal the biggest multi-target damage in the game out of any green materia. Our trio of ultimate magic spells work like this:
1) Ultima: Lowest damage, but it hits everyone.
2) Comet2: Highest damage, but split among 4 targets. Potential to be the highest single-target damage if no one else's around.
3) Flare: Elemental, second highest damage. Not as powerful as Comet2 but you can actually target someone with it.
And thus Barret is redeemed.
As for the green materia talk, ultimately none of it matters if you get to the "endgame" because they will all deal 9999 damage, thus making Ultima the preferable choice. For now we'll still use Comet2 from time to time.
Before Corel gets reduced once again to a pitiful place whose purpose is to make us reflect on our privillege while we travel to a luxury theme park, there's one more thing we need.
[Catastrophe] is Barret's Level 4 limit. It looks cool as hell and we'll be using it. We're done here.
Alright let's see where we...
Oh
Hahahah.
It's settled then. Destination: Mideel.
NEXT TIME:
Crazy people! Sick people! Plot development!
Music we've listened in this update:
Hurry - It couldn't have a more appropriate name.
Bonus points if you can correctly identify the five songs I've quoted in this update without using Google.
