Part 2: Map 1: Fog

Map 1: Fog



What... Why is it so dark?



I know that voice...



Serra!
Hi Matthew! Look, I'm in your dreams! Pretty neat, huh? I've also figured out how to control your subconscious, so you won't be able to wake up without my permission!
What?! Oh come on... Please tell me you're joking...
Don't worry, Matthew! It's not like I'll keep you here forever... I just want you to be my vassal! Once you accept my offer, I'll let you wake up!
... If this is a dream...



Uh... Well... If you do that, you'll definitely wake up... But I'll just put you back to sleep again, so don't bother trying!



You're a spy, right, Matthew? You're pretty smart... If you can escape from your dreams without dying, I'll look for another vassal...
But if you die, you've got to swear to be my slave for the rest of your life! Deal?
You really think I'd agree to something like that? Please...
Well, I'm not letting you wake up until you promise you'll be my vassal! Sooo, if you ever want to escape, you better start searching!
Heehee! This will be fun!



Wait! Serra!
And she's gone... Just my luck... Gha... What did I do to deserve this...
......
Guess I better find her... I'm sure she's hiding somewhere... Obvious.



It doesn't come across well without sound, but when panning up to the throne, a warp sound effect plays. Serra's on that throne. We can't see what's in the way, though.

Well, first thing's first. What are our stats?



Huh. How... Helpful.



This is the top-right corner of the map. I'm taking note of it now because it's going to see a callback much later. If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry. That's just because it's stupid.



Well, let's get going, then!



Oh hey... Those are promoted sprites.




Yep! This is a Fog of War instant death maze. These promoted units will not aggro you, but if you end your turn next to them, they'll kill you. Of course, there's plenty of other units chasing you down... But they aren't really threats.



So let's weather the storm over here. Enemy units will come to us, but with our backs to the wall we can't be swarmed too much, right?



Yeah! Killed one, dropped the HP on another, not too bad.



wait what's targeting us



oh is that all. okay.



Enough faffing about. Let's get this chapter underway.



Taking one more step leaves us open to that assassin, of course. But here, we're safe.




Sooo... Have you changed your mind yet, Matthew?



Ugh. This is the most annoying part of the hack, by far. At end of every enemy phase, you get this choice. If you say yes, your loss is basically guaranteed. The reason why is slightly interesting, but I can't properly show it off because of the fog of war. Next map. Unfortunately, though... Though it never happened to me, I have read reports that skipping this text sometimes counts as having answered yes. And if you're not paying attention and just mashing to get through this you might accidentally say yes. That definitely HAS happened to me.

By the way, did I mention this is multiple maps but only one chapter? Because you can't save, ever. Just throwing that out there.



We finish this guy off without issue.





Seems we can't double myrmidons, but they're no threat.



No, really! They're no threat. Now myrmidons can't hurt us.



And that's the enemy turn.



The longbowman stopped in our range for some reason, so we can attack him. The myrmidon's going to suicide on us soon. As long as we don't have Matthew wander too close to instant death nothing's really a threat.



We get a level from it, too. This one's less helpful.



The myrmidon dies. Also,



We kill two more people and dodge a hand axe.



That hand axe brought us the one EXP we needed to have this happen. Not bad.

Well, let's just clean up that last guy off screen. He's the last random we need to deal with.



We step up to the throne and pop a vulnerary.



Also, scripted sequence!

What?! How did you get here so fast?
Why don't you pick a more obvious hiding place next time? That would help...

One thing I do like is how Matthew's frustration mirrors our own.

Wait! Matthew?! MATTHEYUUUW?!! Why are you pointing your knife at me?
... If this is a dream... Killing you here won't affect you in the real world. Would it?
Eeeek! Matthew! How could you even think of killing me?!!
Trust me. At this point, I'll take any opening I can get... Goodbye, Serra.



Everyone loves scripted criticals.



By the way. The swordsmaster just down-right of Matthew? Hope you didn't take a zig-zagging path to Serra while noticing there was nothing in the square just below him, assuming that part was clear. Because, you know, it's not. I've died a few times to him, I admit.



Cool, I guess.



Eh?



Oh. It's... It's Batta. He was not on this map before, but now he is on this map.



Sigh.



Because there was nothing in this map thus far you couldn't really deal with by moving slowly and not going into unknown squares, there's one thing you couldn't possibly have known about, thrown in just to screw you: A fixed 18 damage attack, right here. This attack ignores defense, and will always OHKO a minimum level Matthew. But, you'll certainly gain HP levelling, so using a vulnerary makes it a non-issue. I presume it also has a very high critical hit rate, purely so that it can be nulled by the Iron Rune, but I haven't looked into it.

Further maps have much more stuff like this. Because, sure!



Not that we're able to harm him back. But on the other hand,



He's happy to spout off more cringe-inducing dialogue, and then shuffle off this mortal coil.



Map clear!



Uh

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Next time:



(17 def, 5 res) (not pictured: Iron Rune)

Oh, I guess all the previous levelups were entirely pointless. I'm okay with this. I'm less okay with the cringeworthy "internet humor" accompanying it.