Part 22: Sand and Sand-Related Products
Update 15: Sand and Sand-Related Products
Today, the party's got a desert to explore!
"Hey! Wait a minute! You there in the fancy armour, heading for the training halls! You look like a seasoned adventurer. Wanna buy these, uh, priceless treasure maps?"
"Sure, whatever. Here, take some of these second-rate magical weapons. We don't need them."
"Throw in that shield and you've got yourself a deal. Hah. Easiest money I've made all year."
"Ha! We can take on anyone now!"
"Except dragons."
"Well, okay, everything except dragons."
"And large groups of anything with a multiple-target attack."
"Those too."
"And anything with instant-death attacks. And, well, anything that's still just stronger and tougher than us."
"Okay, you've made your point."
"Thank you, Radaso. May your light shine eternally. The new spells you have granted your humble servant will prove most helpful in my quest."
"Oh yeah? Can you summon a giant magical sword to cut your enemies to ribbons?"
"No, but I can raise the dead."
"Okay, I have to admit that's pretty cool."
Once their training was complete, the party set out for the great desert of northeastern Varn.
"Um, this doesn't look like a desert."
"We're not there yet."
"Oh, okay. Thanks. That was going to be my next question."
"Shows what you know, status window! We're going to walk right through those trees!"
"A talking fountain? Well, I don't see anything at all suspicious about that. Let's all take its advice and drink from it! Thanks, fountain!"
"Thanks for nothing, fountain."
"What, another fountain? After what happened with the last one, we'd have to be crazy to drink from you."
"Ooh, another fountain! I wonder what this one tastes like!"
"I feel better than I've ever felt before! C'mon, everyone, try it!"
"Huh. It wasn't poison this time. Well, what do you know."
The party now has super strength until they rest, at which point the fountain's effects will wear off. To make the best possible use of their newfound might, they immediately set out into the desert!
"Actually, we're gonna hang around this forest and loot some merchant wagons first, if that's okay with you."
Of course, the wagon was a trap set up by a group of monsters, who ambushed the party while they were searching. That's what you get for contradicting the narrator.
"Oh yes, we're certainly going to search this wagon, because searching the last one turned out so well for us."
"Hey, it worked with the fountains."
"A Merchant's Pass! What a stroke of luck!"
"I don't get it. Why would we want to pretend to be merchants?"
"Because this pass grants us the right to an audience with the lords of Varn's castles."
"Uh, guys, could someone remind me what we came out here to do?"
"Oh, right, exploring the desert."
"This sign would have been much more useful if Lord Kilburn hadn't been the one to send us here in the first place."
"I would imagine that most deserts are dry and hot."
"What about cold deserts?"
"I could really use a cold dessert right about now."
"You know, there might be a problem with this whole desert-exploration thing. We're going through a day's supply of water every hour. At this rate, we'll all die of thirst in no time."
"Or we could find an oasis where we can stock up on all the water we need. Does that work for you, Mr. Negativity?"
"Damn it! Someone got to this oasis before us."
"Fine, you good-for-nothing vagabonds, we'll trade with you."
"Wait, what? But I didn't--"
"Huh. They took the healing herbs out of my backpack and stuffed a leather pouch full of some weird liquid in there."
"Let me look at that... hmm. Smells sweet."
"It's cactus nectar. To the desert nomads, it's a vital source of hydration and nourishment."
Cactus nectar can be used to provide the party with food, much like a cleric's Create Food spell. Unfortunately, it eventually runs out, and when you try to travel through the desert without food...
... people start dying.
"Where's your Raise Dead spell now? Can't use it on yourself, can you?"
One quick trip back to town later, the party was ready to attempt the desert again.
This time, they stayed on the roads whenever possible, minimising food losses.
"Hey, do these mountains look familiar to anyone else?"
"Ah, of course! It's the lost town of Dusk!"
"I'm not sure how lost it can be, if some leprechaun in Sorpigal knows how to send people there."
"And here's the ruined castle Dragadune, in the mountains not far from Dusk. I wonder if this was what Lord Kilburn wanted us to find and tell the other lords about; he wasn't exactly specific about it."
"Let's explore the desert some more before we go home. What's the worst that could happen?"
"That's the spirit! I mean, it's not like we're going to run into a pack of gigantic scorpions and die horrible deaths."
"That never happened. Move along, nothing to see here."
Those scorpions we didn't just get completely trounced by were the One by Sand. The party isn't quite ready to take them on just yet. Anyway, what actually happened was that the party had an uneventful stroll through the desert, until...
"I'd heard that night falls fast in the desert, but whew!"
"We're in magical darkness again, you galoot."
"Looks like it's Lasting Light time."
"And the darkness was protecting... a big, impassable ring of mountains. I must admit, I was hoping for something more spectacular."
"That's okay! I can just teleport us into the middle of the mountains!"
"That... didn't quite work. Okay, don't worry, I've got a contingency plan."
"And it lets me show off one of my new spells!"
"Good old Etherealize. You'll never fail me."
"Wow. These are some weird-looking trees. Where are we? And what's that buzzing noise coming from all around us?"
"I think perhaps we should be worrying more about the fauna than the flora."
"Hey, another chance for me to try out my new spells. This is fun!"
"Easy for you to say when we're the ones protecting you from being eaten alive. Hey, Preacher, I could use some healing over here."
"Radaso, shine your holy light upon the moon and reflect it upon this battlefield, that it may heal us and strike down our enemies!"
"Ooh, sparkly. I wish I could do that. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to be happy with reducing enemies to dust with a wave of my hand."
The giant beetles proved incredibly resilient: Jostiband's magic did most of the damage, while the rest of the party was left to hack away at one beetle at a time. Eventually, though, the party was victorious.
"I've learned an important lesson from this battle: disintegration is the solution to all of life's problems."
"Wait, these beetles were carrying treasure? How does that even work?"
"Actually, I found this inside one of the beetles' corpses. It must have swallowed it whole... along with the adventurer who was carrying it, by the looks of it."
"Well, he was swallowed mostly whole, at least. I can't find his right hand anywhere."
"Hey, guys, how come there's a giant hourglass here?"
"Good question. Let's turn it over and find out!"
Instantly, a change came over the entire party. Old aches, pains and scars faded instantly from their faces and bodies, leaving everyone refreshed and rejuvenated.
"This is amazing! I feel like a new woman!"
"What, are you getting bored with Jostiband already?"
"That went well, I think. We should rest for now, and set out to explore the rest of the desert tomorrow."
That's right, it's time to end this update. It's also time to show off all the loot the party found while grinding wyverns offscreen.
"I've got great weapons and armour, but why am I still carrying this stupid whistle around?"
"This magical ring mail isn't quite the best armour I can wear, but it's pretty close."
"I've got some pretty cool stuff here. A gauntlet that increases my strength, a really awesome bow that can shoot lightning bolts, and an amulet that protects me from paralysis and can be used to dispel the undead."
"No fancy amulets for me. All I need is the second-best bow in existence, which hits almost twice as hard as Drewjitsu's bow. Now, I wonder what these maps are for..."
"I've traded in my hammer for a mace and shield. I'll never be much of a fighter, but at least I can be well-protected."
"And I've got a bunch of magical items to increase my intelligence."
"Because being able to reduce her enemies to dust only ten times a day just wasn't terrifying enough."
Next time on Let's Play Might and Magic: even more sand, and even less dying to giant scorpions!