Part 46: Getting Ahead

Update 30: Getting Ahead

When we last left the party, they were taking a quick trip to the Valley that Time Forgot in order to rescue Tarquinn from his present state of decrepitude.



"It's about time. Why, when I was your age we got things done when we needed them done, consarnit."
"You were our age this time last week. Stop whining and turn the hourglass."



"They don't make magic time-reversing hourglasses like they used to."

Turns out the Hourglass only restores 20 years at a time. Yes, this means we need to leave the area and return five times in order to fully restore Tarquinn. This is still less frustrating than spamming Rejuvenate spells.



"That's more like it. And that's the last time I try out any unknown magical items."
"Wasn't that what you said the last time you tried out an unknown magical item?"
"Let's... let's just forget this ever happened and go back to that damn cave."



And here we are, back where we were. Having extremely high speed on all party members makes this dungeon go a lot more smoothly, by the way. No matter how high-level you are, letting half a dozen Gorgons get a free round of attacks in on you is asking for trouble.



"This time, try to leave at least one head intact. I don't want to come back here a third time and neither do you."



"Why are we going to all this trouble for Lord Hacker again? It's not like he's going to reward us."
"Virtue is its own reward. We should be proud of ourselves today: we have vanquished a great evil."
"Hey, those statues over there look familiar."
"Are those... yes, it is them! I must heal them immediately."

"Eh? What happened? Where... ah, I musta been turned to stone. Thank ye for rescuin' -- oh, it's you. Thanks for kickin' me outta yer party. You doin' well without me?"
"We're doing better than you are, by the looks of it. Unless you and your comrades liked being statues, I think you owe us another favour now."
"Another favour? You can hardly expect us to thank you for rescuing us from the Succubus Queen. If you hadn't led us to Portsmith, we wouldn't have needed rescuing in the first place!"
"For the last time, we didn't lead you anywhere. You followed us after we told you to stay away for your own damn good."
"This is most strange. Sylphosaurus, you have made this party out to be a pack of amoral, opportunistic looters, and yet they have rescued us from a hopeless situation twice now."
"Yeah, what gives?"
"To be fair, we pretty much are a pack of amoral, opportunistic looters. It's just Preacher who goes around being a do-gooder."
"Hey, what about me?"
"You'd be a do-gooder if you were actually capable of doing any good."
"Well, anyway, we're off to Lord Hacker's place to drop off this medusa head now. So if you'll excuse us, we'll see you later."
"Tsk. We'll meet again, mark my words, and next time we shall be the ones to upstage you!"
"I need to find a more competent party to adventure with."



"I hope this head is fresh enough."
"It should be. Some of the snakes are still hissing."



"That's it? That's it? After all that trouble, we get 4000 lousy experience points? I hope those snakes bite you on the balls."
"Hey, don't blame me. You're the one who accepted the quest."
"Fine, but your next quest had better be something easier."



"Well, it's about time I took this rotten old thing out of my pack. I hope it serves you better than it's served me."



"Why did we get more for that than the medusa head quest? Wyverns are easy to kill."
"Well, I can always reduce the size of your reward if you want."
"Um, no, that'll be okay, thanks. What's our next quest?"



"Aw, that's easy. We kill dragons all the time."
"It must be a red dragon. And not just any red dragon; I want an eye tooth from a red dragon living in the foothills of the great western volcano."
"You're just adding all these extra conditions to make life harder for us, aren't you?"
"Possibly."



"Well, this is where we're supposed to be looking, but I don't see any dragons around."
"Maybe we're not looking closely enough."
"They're dragons. If they were here, we'd see them."



"I'm bored. Let's forget about dragons for a while and go swimming."



"I have a better idea, by which I mean one that probably won't get us all killed."



"Hmm. I wonder if there's anything interesting in this little shoal."



"Does buried treasure qualify as 'interesting'?"
"It'll be more interesting once we've dug it up."



"Ooh, more gems! That'll be handy if you ever need me to duplicate stuff."
"Well, time to head back up into the mountains and keep looking for that dragon. Maybe it's hiding in a tree or something."



"Oh, hey, there it is."



"That was easy. I hope it's got teeth."




"If carrying this tooth around brings down some horrible curse on my head, there's gonna be hell to pay."



"Shouldn't we be returning to Lord Hacker now?"
"What, and miss the chance to find more pirate treasure?"



"You're not a pirate."
"This is true. Druids seldom are."
"Well, uh, we're not usually in the business of helping demonic menaces, so I guess we can agree to that condition. What have you got for us?"



"A genuine King's Pass! This will be most useful if we ever need to visit King Alamar. How did you find this?"
"Oh, I have my ways... and I think it will be safest for both of us if we leave it at that. Good luck in your travels, adventurers, and may you find the Secret of the Inner Sanctum."
"Wait, how did you know we were looking for--"
"I'm trying to be enigmatic and mysterious here. Get the hint already."
"Sheesh. Well, I guess we may as well go and bring that tooth back to Lord Hacker now."



"Great. What do we have to fetch for you next?"



"Now wait just one minute. I died for this ring and I'm not giving it up so easily. If Lord Hacker wants one, he can find his own."



"Problem solved. Good thing we found all those gems earlier, isn't it?"



"Well, I think that's it. Let's go before he asks us to bring him God's severed pinky finger or something."



And so ends another solid day's work for the party.



"I have the best weapons and armour in Varn, and I'm not 114 years old any more. For once, I don't really have anything to complain about. Except for this whistle. Stupid whistle."



"So if Okrim ever comes back to life and starts looking for his ring, which one is technically his: mine or Lord Hacker's?"
"Well, if he goes after Lord Hacker's, he's out of luck. It's probably been dissolved into his potion already."



"Eww, magic ring soup."
"Shouldn't you be more worried about the deadly poisonous plants he was asking us to put into it earlier? Besides, if Lord Hacker wants to go around drinking rings, that's his business."



"Y'know, as great as this bow is, I'd still like a better one."



"King Alamar... why have you locked yourself up in your throne room? Your subjects need you."



"Compared to my dagger, this staff means slightly less blasting things into oblivion with magic and slightly more beating things to death with big sticks! Also, more magic resistance, but if I cared about defence I wouldn't be a sorcerer."

Now that the party has the King's Pass, they have a couple of options on which lord to visit next:

Lord Ironfist, bloodthirsty warrior-baron and seeker of worthy fighters to bestow honours upon.

His Majesty King Alamar of Varn, who has recently gone into seclusion, refusing all visitors. If he grants the party an audience, there's no telling what he might ask of them.

Vote now!

Meanwhile, in Castle Blackridge South...



"We've got the drop on 'em this time! They thought it was safe to tell us they were visitin' Lord Hacker. Hah! Whatever they're doin' 'ere, we'll beat 'em to the punch."

"Ah, Lord Hacker. We come to you today as your humble servants, seeking to aid you in any plans you may be pursuing. In exchange, all we ask is--"



"Wait, what? What? We came here to help you!"
"And you can help me by giving me all your items and being thrown into the Pit. Goodbye."



"I'm sure this is all somehow that other party's fault."