Part 4: Dirt gets punished
Clearly, he must be punished for his insolence. Holly, I want you to hit him.
What? Why me?!
Because I said so.
But... Fine. If tries to eat me, will you at least pull me out?
I'll think about it. Now get crackin'.
That was the best you could do? Disappoint him? Jesus Christ, you hit like a girl.
I AM a-
Back to work! We have an animal to train. He's going in that mine or by god I will kill him with my bare hands.
He lost a little skill, but other numbers went up. This includes my bank account, which is all that matters. Since nobody came up with more jobs for Dirty, I had to come up with some stuff on my own. First, I sent him to pull shopping carts.
He's getting good at pulling shit. If he keeps this up, I might be able to ride him around like a horse. But horses need special training. I read once that as a rite of passage, every young horse must spend a week in the woods, living off the land. Maybe that was indians? No, definitely horses. So if I want him to be a horse, he'll have to survive a week in the forest.
When Holly and I found him, he was on his back, kicking his legs around as if he were trying to walk. His pupils were dilated, and he had chunks of mushrooms in his teeth. I'm not entirely sure what he was up to, but I consider his trip a success.
An official tournament comes up at the end of this month.
Tournament, eh? Let's see what's on the schedule.
So this month, I can either send him to the New Leaf Cup for some big cash or the Official E Rank Cup and maybe move my rank up a little. What do you think, Holly?
You're actually asking for my advice? Wow. Um, I don't think he'll be very good at a tournament with his loyalty as low as it is right now. If you send him in, he won't follow any of your commands. Also fighting will wear him out a lot, so he'll only be able to fight in one tournament this month.
He'd be fighting without my gentle guiding hand, but if he wins just think of the money! And even if he loses, it means he'll get the beating that you couldn't provide with your skinny girl arms. But I'll leave this to the experts. What should I do with Dirt McGirt this month, goons? Send him to a tournament, or work him some more? And which contest/jobs should I pick?