Part 15: Fuck This Horrid Place

Update Fifteen: Fuck This Horrid Place

Alright, I'm going to come out and say it; I fucking hate the Rosemary Mansion. It's a massive pain in the ass. The encounter rate there is pretty stupid, even with the Easy Ring on and there are two enemies that almost seem like they were brought in from a later part of the game.

I also lost about half of my video footage. I hastily re-recorded it and grabbed some screenshots, but I don't think that is going to affect this update's quality. At least, I hope it doesn't. With that said, in this short update, we're going to finish the mansion, so let's rock.



Last time, Merry got her ass murdered and I found (and then immediately decapitated) a Starman masquerading as hotel clerk.



Let's boogie on back to a town where I can revive her. Had I been thinking, I would have just used the Onyx Hook, but I'm dumb.





But, in the process of being dumb, I learned something very valuable; in any fight where there is a Barbot present, kill it as fast as you can. For where you'll be encountering them, there is nothing with them that is urgent enough to warrant needing murder before you kill the Barbot. Why, you ask?



Because they're huge douchebags with the ability to instantly kill a party member.



But, hey, at least Champ gained a level, right? That makes it worthwhile, right?



We're currently right here. It was this point I had Champ jack the Onyx Hook from Leo and we just went back to Magicant. Since we've seen the trip there and back enough, imagine a fancy fast-forward effect.



Alright, stop fast-forwarding. We're back on track now.



I should have told you to keep fast-forwarding.



Since we're just heading back over to the mansion right now. The route is the same.



Though, let's take this time to pause and laugh at this man. He used to live in that mansion, and now he is in but a serf's shack!



...That doesn't make me feel better. Losing that footage and having to re-record (and during the re-record, most enemies seemed adamant to ensure I wasn't making it back through) has really kind of bummed me out.

I guess that sounds dumb and whiny, doesn't it?





Alright, here we go. Into the breach.



We'll soon be at the point where I had to re-record. I'll be sure to point it out.



Just as well, I suppose. On the re-record journey, I managed to fight and kill two Red Snakes. I also fought a bunch of other shit, but Red Snakes are awesome, to the tune of they drop about 1,000 exp for each party member. Needless to say, I nearly 'd when I saw that.



In this room, we run into an encounter that's kind of...Special.



Alarm Ghosts have a pretty predictable gimmick.



They can attack, for a bit of damage, but they mostly just call in other monsters.



They have 115 HP and a buttload of defense, so they're a pain in the ass to take down.



They can also call in Armors. Armors are the biggest assholes I've encountered yet.



Armors have 118 HP, with a good defense, as you can see by Leo's damage.



That 15 damage is from the Armor, which is kind of scary, since they're hitting Leo. They can drop Merry in two hits and Champ in about three, plus they have access to Thunder Beta, which hits horrifyingly hard.



Anyways, fights like that are a pain in the ass.



But, look at how much the team's experience increased.

And about two minutes after that is when my footage dies. So, on to the re-recorded footage!



This time, we're going through as fast as we can. This is actually the third time I had to enter the house, as I got my shit pushed in by a pair of Armors. More than once.



I'd like to say more about this house, but fuck it, I don't care.





Seriously, these guys seem like I should be encountering them in a dungeon or two. Sure, I know some enemies are tougher than others and that in an RPG, you're going to encounter things like that, but these guys are such big assholes.

Thunder Beta does around 50 HP worth of damage; there are pendants that can mitigate some of that damage, but that doesn't reduce their massive attack power. Or their huge defense. They also seem to resist just about every fucking PSI power I can throw at them, so it's hard to rip through their health.

I finally figured out just using Defense Up Beta at the beginning and then just hit them as hard as I can. PK Beam Beta does around 30 damage to 'em, and combined with Leo's hits, it makes kinda short work of them.

Champ is completely useless during these fights, as he is just a biggity-bitch and I wish he was Susan.





Remember these stairs? I should have just taken these, instead of deciding you all would like to see the mansion.





Now, I don't know a lot about mansions, but I don't think that they usually have basements that descend this deep into the earth. Then again, the Spencer Estate did...



I don't think we're quite "Umbrella Lab" deep, though. We haven't had to ride a vertical tram or an elevator yet.







Hey, don't look at me, Leo. It's your adventure.



Jesus Christ, this is getting ridiculous.



There are encounters on the stairs, too. This is what the stairs look like when they get hit with the mosaic effect. I still hate them.



At least we're done with the stairs.



Should the basement of your mansion look the same as the upper floors?



Let's hit this door first.



Ah, hell. I hate these rooms.



Let's hit the top door first.



More stairs? What the fuck, Rosemary?



Sweet Jesus!



These guys are huge assholes, too, hence the Defense Up Beta. It's not so much their regular attacks, no.



Granted, she has the defense up benefit, but Merry only took one damage from him.



He only has 62 HP, but sometimes, he'll do a final desperation attack upon death. It's pretty fucking terrible and I've only seen it happen one time.

It hit Leo. It did 220 DAMAGE TO HIM. In Earthbound, that worked well, since we had a rolling HP meter. Here? It doesn't work nearly as well, since we have just straight numbers minus numbers, instant removal.



It's fucking assholery and I will not tolerate it.



In that room down the stairs, we find a single present box. It's gotta be worth it, right?







So, back up the stairs.



Let's hit that other door now. Maybe it'll have something better.



It can't get much worse.



FUCK ME IN THE ANUS



Son of a bitch stairs.



I'm sorry, guys. I'm just upset that I lost a bunch of video. I shouldn't have let it affect this update or my mood when writing it.



No! Fuck off, you, we're almost done!



Quickly, what's off about this room?



It's not the Medicine in the present. That's pretty cool, but it's not the pull of this room.



Have you spotted it yet? If not, go get your eyes checked and then consider asking someone to hit you in the face as hard as they fucking can with a baseball bat.



It was the piano. This piano is special, too.



This could probably be spookifying, but it's not really.



And we're done here.

Seriously, no, we're done. There's no boss. There's nothing in this house beyond this piano. It confuses and upsets me, since we've fought, what, one boss? Two, if you count the doll? As far as I know, we don't even really fucking save the house.

There is some dialog later that says we do, and the lady who gave us the key renames her son after us. But, the Rosemary family never moves back into their house and they stay outside, in their crap shack, for the rest of the game.



I may not have used my Bread at the beginning, but fuck it, I got something better.



We're done here for now. I told you this was going to be a short update.

Next time, on Mother, we become Dragon slayers. Stay tuned!