Part 8: The Makings Of A Champ

Update Eight: The Makings Of A Champ

Welcome back! Last time, on Mother, we explored the castle and we found ourselves an Onyx Hook, which allows us to teleport to Magicant from anywhere. Today, we're going to make it back to the real world, so let's rock.



Hey, do you guys remember the PSI Teleport abilities in Earthbound?



Imagine I used one of those to make it here really fast. As we all have a good idea of how to get back here.





I managed to make it this far before I hit an encounter. The Easy Ring makes the encounter rate a touch wonky.



I've been informed that these guys are special; in the English prototype, these guys were called "Groucho", and I didn't realize these dudes were those dudes at first, so I annihilated the few I found.



But, fuck around for a bit in battle, and this will happen.



Letting these guys do this massively increases the amount of exp these guys throw out, so it's far better to just guard for a bit than it is to crush them into the dirt.



And, hey, alright, new PSI powers!



Looks like we learned Healing Beta. No, that's not a typo. I learned Gamma before Beta. Healing Beta heals paralysis, while Gamma takes care of stone.



We're now treading new ground.



But there's still old things on new ground.



It was an Ulrich, but who gives a shit, Leo leveled up!



Goddammit. I'm going to hate the update where I take the Easy Ring off. It was another Ulrich, though, so it's not like it was a big deal.





I like present boxes. I wonder what this one holds.



...Leo can't use swords! I don't know anyone who uses swords!



Fucking useless _{at the moment} sword.





Why is that guy blocking the doorway? Is he someone else I need to fight?



Oh, Jesus Christ.





I'm going to hate where this is going, aren't I?



this if I start to miss people...



Dear God, it's like a living, breathing E/N thread or something.



Sometimes just breathing is almost too much for me to handle.

If this goes on much longer, I'll be sure you don't have to worry about it.



Because you're in the Goddamn way, you jerk.



No. People like and respect me. Now move.



This is another question. And I answer "Yes."



At least he seems grateful for it. Plus, he got the hell out of the way, so we can move on.



Look at Leo there; he can't believe this shit.



But, heading through the doorway, we wind up here. It's not the same cave that we entered Magicant from, either.



So, let's get the hell out of here.



Alright, there's a building over there and nothing else worthwhile around.



Here's the map for a quick shot of where we are. Looks like we'll be heading to Thanksgiving, which is due north, but I'm curious about that building down there.



Oh, Goddammit.



These guys have 52 HP, with nothing special about them, other than being robots.



Leo handles it like he handles every fight; extreme prejudice and Boomerang fueled death.



Well, looks like going south isn't the way to get to the building. These trees are in the way.





So, we have no choice but to go north.



And get into more fights.



Yeergh. I liked it better when these guys were cute and more Li'l UFO-like.



35 HP on these guys. Thankfully, they're not assholes like they will be in Earthbound.



I liked it better when I could see enemies on the field.



And when I wasn't fighting skunks!



41 HP a piece on these guys. Thankfully, I didn't see any sort of gas attack out of these guys, but they seem like a good enemy to set off Leo's asthma.





These trees are the most interesting thing I can think of to comment on, aside from when I get into a fight.





Ooh, more trees! They better put in a good word for nature, while the camera is on them.





I didn't realize how damned boring this trip was. I'll make it up for you later in the update, I promise. There are actual interesting things coming up.





There's the path down and out of here. 'bout time.



You may think there's something to the north there, where there's more area, but there's nothing. At least, nothing I could find.



And now we get to go back south to find that building.



So, fuck it, you're going to just experience the magic of screenshot teleportation, while I actually had to run all the way back down here.



It kinda looks like a computer tower from here, doesn't it?



Oh, God! Scary wolves!



Oh, they're not that scary, but they do have 58 HP.



Aww yeah, more PSI powers.



Healing Pi; it heals a boatload of ailments, and has the same name as a delicious dessert. I like this power already.





Son of a bitch! I just want to investigate that building!



Eagles! I'm going to feel so guilty destroying this bird and his 55 HP.





...I don't think this is the factory everyone wants me to take the Easy Ring off for, but I know I'm not supposed to be here right now. So, back north we go!



North was the correct way to go, too, right off of that path.



Those doors are purple! That seems important!





This is actually a school, believe it or not. It's also the right place to be.



If we head to the right, there are three doors and someone to talk to; to the left, more doors and stairs leading up.



We're going right, first.



The first room leaves something to be desired.



Hopefully, the second room is more fruitful.



Hey, looks like we found an infirmary. I wonder if the nurse has anything useful to give us.



I'm sure as you can guess, it is something quite useful.



I don't know if she takes care of status effects, but she does provide a full HP/PP restore, so it's valuable nonetheless.



Alright, third room, be as cool as the second one.



...Oh, we found the bathroom. Sorry--







I...I don't even want to know what that room is for.



No running in the halls?



FUCK YOU LADY, I DO WHAT I WANT





Aw, crap! Leo, ready your boomerang!



Wait...Maybe we can get out of this with the truth.



I don't think--Oh, God, we're carrying a sword!



Okay, he didn't take our weapon. And a quick check of the inventory shows that we still have our sword, so he didn't get the good stuff.



Still, Leo, cheese it!



Depending on how things go from here, Leo, this could be a good spot for a final stand.



I've never played a Dragon Quest game!



I don't even go to this school!



Well, this means one of two things: either I found the next enemy Leo is going to destroy or else this girl should alert the authorities.



Leo sneaks past the hall monitor, into the next classroom.







Well, I was bad at subtraction when I was younger, so I laugh at her. But, I can't do a cartwheel, so I sympathize with this girl.



To the next room we go.





That's a good thing, I think. Though, I do wonder how janitors can sort out all those keys on those massive rings they carry.



Champ, you say? Don't we know someone named Champ?



Well, I guess. You look okay for a NES sprite, at least.



I made sure to include this just to show off more of Leo's pimptastic player skills.



Oh, God, the hall monitor's looking this way! Leo, up the stairs!



There's even more doors here!



I said I was going to make this update better from that damned boring path, and I'm going to find something that'll make that true!



Hopefully one of these classrooms holds something of interest.



That seems like a good thing to me. I'm sure a roof is a dangerous place for an elementary school kid.



Ah, I guess the Gameboy hasn't been invented yet.



There was another yes or no question here; I chose no.



Tofu's bean curd, right? Well, I suppose strawberry flavored tofu wouldn't be too bad; I like strawberry.



...Um...I got nothing for this kid. Good luck becoming a bancho or whatever.





Why are there no teachers around? I've only seen one adult around, too.



Maybe this is one of those "progressive" schools or whatever.





'course, being progressive doesn't mean you're not an asshole!



And, well, I suppose some of the students might have that assburgers or whatever it's called.



Let's just move on to the next room.



Well, I'm so glad I came in this room.



Just in case the next room is disappointing, I talk to these kids first.



I'm going to warn you right now about teasing that Champ kid; I have it on good authority that he'll be able to do something about it soon enough.



Nope! I know who the good allies are!



Well, with that bit of information about Champ, let's continue our journey through the classrooms.



Another empty room, but there's a piano in here.



I can't do anything with it right now, but I imagine it'll be useful later.





Is this like a lost and found room? Either way, I'll take whatever they got.





...Well, I'm so glad I came in here.





Here's the final room.





Well, that was enlightening.



Maybe he'll open an electronic shop and employ another nerdy kid down the line.



That's a terrible example of staying quiet! You should be ashamed!



WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME



Leo's got a Goddamned Cold now! It'll sap a point of HP every few steps, so it's not too bad.



And neither of our fancy PSI Healing powers will clear it up, either. So, we're stuck with it for a bit.



Where do those steps lead?



Ah-ha! Looks like we found the rooftop access door. But, the janitor is the one with the keys. We gotta find him.



And there's only one spot for him to be hiding inside the school.



There's no message this time. We can go on in.



Well, that certainly looks like a janitor.



Yes, it is, but more importantly



WHY IS THERE A BED IN HERE!?



This is an elementary school!



Well, yes, but--



Sounds like it, but about that--



I hate this man.



Alright, this is the correct answer. Thankfully, he just forgot the conversation we had prior to this, so we can do this over.



Oh, that's nice. I no longer give a shit about the bed here.





And now you're offering me tea. I'm so confused about this guy. Sure, it's Mother, but just



Somehow, this ends with us going up to the roof.



He proceeds to the roof, Leo in tow.



And now she's fat. Truly, her life is over.



He pops on up the stairs...



...And comes back down, with the way to the roof open.



So up we go!





There's something off about this rooftop. I wonder what it is...



Looks like we found our resident nerd!



Yes, you nerdy little shit!



This, too, was a yes or no question, but, hell, I'm not telling on him. He might use those explosives on Leo.





Well, hello, new party member!



I wanna launch one really bad!

Yeah, that's nice, Champ. Come along.



Champ? You're not following me.



Champ?



Looks like we gotta go get him a Bottle Rocket before he joins. At least I know where that factory is.



Directly north of the school is this sign. In case you thought I was lying about being in a school.







Aww, c'mon, lady. They're not that bad. It'd be a boost to an economy.



And, uh, I guess there are some blocked tracks somewhere.





This is about as exciting as it gets in the Department Store. I'm glad I snagged that free boomerang, but I'll have to buy one for Champ, when he joins.



Or I may buy him a Stun Gun. Whichever is more powerful.



I quickly hit the hotel, wondering if it would cure Leo's cold.



It doesn't, but here's the status shot for Leo. He's a mighty impressive young savior.





And, finally, how much cash we have. We're doing pretty well, I think, as we shouldn't be hurting for anything anytime soon.

But, that's the end for this update. Next time, on Mother, we'll take a tour of a factory. Stay tuned!