Part 16: The Official Neckebard Death Pool
Ladderface, you magnificent bastard! I was just working on something similar but I wanted to actually give out prizes for whoever ends up with the best bets. I'm not much of a betting man and the number of variables can get confusing, so we're going to simplify.
Thanks to brasstassels and Ladderface for the assistance!
Fill in the person, their fate and the location it will occur using this handy template:
<My Name Here!>
--------------------
Cyrus: cause, location
Susan: cause, location
Waffles: cause, location
Sarah Jane: cause, location
Baby: cause, location
It's fun and easy! At the end of the trip, each correct guess on either cause or location results in 1 point. If you guess "survive" and are correct, you get 2 points! TWO IMPORTANT RULES: location is based on where the Neckebards are going or the river they're at and cause is based on their last recorded condition preceding death. ALSO: It has come to my attention that (due to game mechanics) the leader is always the last to die, in this case, Cyrus. Consider that when voting!
Here's your options!
Possible Fate:
Typhoid fever
Snakebite
Dysentery
Cholera
Measels
Exhaustion
Fever
Broken arm
Broken leg
Drowned
Survives
Location:
Soda Springs
Fort Hall
Snake River Crossing
Fort Boise
Blue Mountains
Fort Walla Walla (optional stop)
The Dalles
Columbia River (Barlow Toll Road is obviously not an option)
At the end of the story, the top three point-leaders win prizes, FABULOUS PRIZES* WHICH WILL COST ME REAL-LIFE MONEY, to be announced at a later date!
Reply ASAP! Betting will close once we get back on the trail which I'm predicting to be, roughly, by February 7th! Think before posting, because I'll be copying your replies into this post for posterity and you won't be able to change your vote later. Let me know if I missed anything. Good luck!
*prizes may not be fabulous or even decent.
GOONS IN THE RUNNING
Aimbot
--------------------
Cyrus: survives!
Susan: survives!
Waffles: survives!
Sarah Jane: survives!
Baby: survives!
j4on
--------------------
Cyrus: survives!
Susan: survives!
Waffles: survives!
Sarah Jane: survives!
Baby: survives!
Gummy Joe
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Exhaustion, Fort Boise
Waffles: Dysentery, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: drowned, Columbia River
Baby: Snakebite, The Dalles
CapitanGarlic
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Typhoid, Blue Mountains
Waffles: Fever, Soda Springs
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Cholera, Fort Hall
dshban
--------------------
Baby: Survives!
Cyrus: Survives!
Waffles: Survives!
Sarah Jane: Fever, Blue Mountains
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
John Dough
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Survives!
Waffles: Survives!
Sarah Jane: Survives!
Baby: Death by measles @ Blue Mountains
pwnyXpress
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Exhaustion, The Dalles
Waffles: Dysentery, Soda Springs
Baby: Typhoid Fever, Blue Mountains
Bettik
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: Drowned, Columbia River (she'll see the finish line and realise she'd rather die.. so she 'falls off' the wagon!)
Waffles: Blue Mountains, Exhaustion (he'll be running the show by then, Cyrus in a drunken stupour)
Sarah Jane: survives
Baby: dysentry, Snake River crossing (Come on.. with a name like that!?)
oratiO_obliqua
--------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: cholera, Fort Hall
Waffles: survives
Sara Jane: drowned, Snake River Crossing
Baby: exhaustion, The Dalles
Huzzah!
--------------------
Cyrus: Exhaustion, The Dales
Susan: Cholera, Fort Hall
Waffles: Snakebite, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Baby: survives
A Curvy Goonette
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Dysentery, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Ladderface
--------------------
Cyrus: Drowns, Columbia River
Susan: Drowns, Columbia River
Waffles: Drowns, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Columbia River
Baby: Drowns, Columbia River
Hamelin
--------------------
Cyrus: survives!
Susan: survives!
Waffles: survives!
Sarah Jane: survives!
Baby: survives!
Tikiglass
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Cholera, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Survives!
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Columbia River
Baby: Survives!
getao
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Cholera, Blue Mountains
Waffles: Snakebite, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Columbia River
Baby: Survives
Mr. Leonheart
--------------------
Cyrus: Drowns, The Columbia River
Susan: Drowns, The Columbia River
Waffles: Drowns, The Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Drowns, The Columbia River
Baby: Drowns, The Columbia River
DakianDelomast
-------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Cholera, Soda Springs
Waffles: Measels, Fort Boise
Sarah Jane: Survives!
Baby: Drowns, Snake River Crossing
Grab Your Socks!
-------------------------------
Cyrus: Broken Leg, Soda Springs
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Cholera, Blue Mountain
Sarah Jane: Typhoid fever, Fort Boise
Baby: Survives!
Migishu
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Dysentery, Fort Hall
Sarah Survives
Baby: Survives
Galewolf
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives. (all the pain caused by his family holding him together like rust holds a steel frame together)
Susan: Drowning, Blue Mountain.
Waffles: Survives
Sarah Jane: Survives (then commits suicide)
Baby: Typhoid, Soda Springs.
Gay at Heart
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Baby: Dysentery, Blue Mountains
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Survives
fitsfadda
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Drowned, Columbia River
Waffles: Typhoid, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: Snakebite, Snake River Crossing
Baby: Survives!
mastajake
---------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Snakebite, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Dysentery, Columbia River
Baby: Survives
GuavaMoment
---------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Survives!
Waffles: Survives!
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Snake River
Baby: Survives!
Pander
-----------------------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Dysentary, Blue Mountain
Waffles: Drowns, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Snake River Crossing
Baby: Survives!
Nemo2342
-----------------------------------
Cyrus: Drowns, Columbia River
Susan: Drowns, Columbia River
Waffles: Drowns, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Columbia River
Baby: Drowns, Columbia River
ObMeiste
-----------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Cholera, Soda Springs
Waffles: Typhoid fever, Soda Springs
Sarah: Survives
Baby: Survives
Muscle Tracer probably won't win!
------
Waffles' Dad: Shot by Cyrus, Fort Bridger
Cyrus: Shot by Waffles, Fort Bridger
Waffles: Shot by Susan, Fort Bridger
Sarah Jane: Shot by Sarah Jane, Fort Bridger
Susan: Dies of Cholera, Colombia River
Baby: Survives
Fredz
-------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Exhaustion, Fort Boise
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Baby: Survives
inSTAALed
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Dysentary, The Dalles
Waffles: Fever, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Cholera, Fort Boise
Wandering Knitter
-------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Exhaustion, Soda Springs
Waffles: Typhoid fever, Fort Boise
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Colombia River
Baby: Survives
ConConHead is praying for incest!
--------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Drowning, Columbia River
Waffles: Drowning, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Drowning, Columbia River
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: survives
Sara Jane: Dysentery! The Dalles
Waffles: Broken leg, Soda Spring
Baby: Measles, Fort Boise
Tasian
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Exhaustion, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
brasstassels
---------------------------
Cyrus: Survives!
Susan: Is accidental gunshot an option? If not, Fever, Fort Boise
Waffles: Cholera, Soda Springs
Sarah Jane: Survives!
Baby: Dysentery, Fort Hall
07 users suck
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Cholera, Soda Springs
Waffles:Other, Fort Hall
Sarah Jane: Drowning, Columbia River
Baby: Survives
Keyboard Fox
------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Survives
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Snake River Crossing
Baby: Drowns, Snake River Crossing
Sutureself
---------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: snake bite (yeah you know what I mean), Blue Mountains
Waffles: survives
Sarah Jane: broken leg, Soda Springs
Baby: drowned, Snake River Crossing
Mistress Bella
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Exhaustion, Blue Mountains
Waffles: Dysentery, The Dalles
Sarah Jane: Cholera, Fort Boise
Baby: Survives
Zoe
-------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: Drowned, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: cause, Drowned, Columbia River
Bugsy
-------------------
Cyrus - Drowned, Columbia River
Susan - Cholera - Fort Hall
Waffles - Broken Leg, Blue Mountains
Sara Jane - Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Baby - Snakebite, Fort Walla Walla
A student
-------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Survives
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Cholera (Drowns in its own poop), Columbia River.
7thBatallion
-------------------
Cyrus - Survives
Susan - Survives
Waffles - Survives
Sara Jane - Survives
Baby - Survives
Not So Fast
-------------------
Cyrus - survives
Susan - broken leg thanks to a wild shotgun - Fort Boise
Sarah Jane - survives
Cyrus Jr. - Measles - Snake River Crossing
Baby - Gets everything, but survives
The White Dragon has no intention of winning and is proud of it!
-------------------
Cyrus - Legs crushed by own wagon a few dozen miles from Oregon City. He decides to camp out and tend to them, the time during which they become gangrenous. Later, he'd arrive and they tried to amputate, but it was too late and the gangrene had spread and he died soon thereafer, his folly of departing his home city the first, and this home remedy the last mistake he'd ever be allowed to make in this world.
Susan - Third-stage syphillis, manifesting at the Columbia River
Waffles - Mistakenly lynched, Fort Walla Walla
Sarah Jane - Eats self to death, somewhere around Fort Hall
Baby - Shits self to death near Blue Mountains
Esotericas
-------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: Exhaustion, Fort Hall
Waffles: Snakebite, Blue Mountains
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Snake River Crossing
Baby: Dysentery, Fort Walla Walla
mobo85 believes in the power of assassination!
-------------------
Cyrus: fucking assassinated by Yankee soliders, Fort Hall
Susan: fucking assassinated by Yankee soliders, Fort Hall
Sarah Jane: fucking assassinated by Yankee soliders, Fort Hall
Cyrus Jr.: fucking assassinated by Yankee soliders, Fort Hall
Baby: survives
linall
-------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Survives
Waffles: Drowned, Columbia
Sarah Jane: Drowned, Columbia River
Baby: Dysentery, Fort Hall
m2pt5
----------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Drowns, Columbia River
Waffles: Drowns, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: Drowns, Columbia River
Baby: Drowns, Columbia River
UberNonchalantguy honestly doesn't care!
----------------------
Cyrus: Suffucated by Baby's dysentary waste.
Susan: Survives/ horribly scarred but survives
Waffles: overdose on pain meds
Sarah Jane: drowns - last river before the end point
Baby: killed by sarah jane after she discovers god / peyote.
Mindbleach
----------
Cyrus - Survives, but is Mormon by the time he reaches Oregon
Susan - Exhaustion (sexual or otherwise), Fort Boise
Waffles - Survives, does not fulfill prophesied fate or accept LDS
Sarah Jane - Drowned, Columbia River
Baby - Survives, because God and RNGs have a sick sense of humor
Veinor
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: survives
Waffles: survives
Sarah Jane: cholera, Dalles
Baby: dysentery, Blue Mountains
Quid
-----------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: Cholera, Blue Mountains
Waffles: drowning, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: drowning, Snake River Crossing
Baby: survives
-----------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: Cholera, Blue Mountains
Waffles: drowning, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: drowning, Snake River Crossing
Baby: survives
The Dark Id
--------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: drowning, Columbia River
Waffles: drowning, Columbia River
Sarah Jane: drowning, Columbia River
Baby: Survives
Clueless Tuquee
--------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: survives
Waffles: drowning, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: measles, Fort Boise
Baby: survives
NattyBumppo
---------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: dies of cholera, Fort Boise
Waffles: survives
Sarah Jane: dies of broken leg, Blue Mountains
Baby: dies of drowning at Snake River Crossing
roomforthetuna
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: survives
Waffles: survives
Sarah Jane: survives
Baby: shot to death at (whatever the last location a shooting is possible is)
lavhoes
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: drowns, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: snakebite, Soda Springs
Sarah Jane: survives
Baby: survives
Gardenald
--------------------
Cyrus: Survives
Susan: Broken Leg, The Dalles
Waffles: Fever, Fort Boise
Sarah Jane: Survives
Baby: Measles, Blue mountains
Nohman
--------------------
Cyrus: survives
Susan: drowns, Snake River Crossing
Waffles: drowns, Snake River Crossing
Sarah Jane: survives
Baby: drowns, Snake River Crossing
Zutaten holds steadfast to fording disaster!
--------------------
Cyrus: Drowned, Snake River
Susan: Drowned, Snake River
Waffles: Drowned, Snake River
Sara Jane: Drowned, Snake River
Baby: Drowned, Snake River
VOTING IS CLOSED! Good luck to everyone who participated.