Part 38: 07/21/09

So, are you ready for the most bad bit of The Journey? I know I'm not...

Beach Patrol



Joy



I never thought a walk in the woods could be so enjoyable. You can't do this in Iwatodai.



Junpei was acting like such a pervert yesterday, and I didn't know how to react...
It's probably a good thing we came out here by ourselves...
Huh? ...Oh, yeah.



Huh, can't say I expected anyone to get a call. Especially in the middle of the woods... how does she even get reception...





Please continue.
Well, I'm at the lab here on the island...
And a machine that was considered inoperable suddenly left the facility on its own...
A machine...?
What kind of machine is it? I need detailed information to locate anything other than Shadows...



A combat vehicle...? You mean like a tank!?
We're not currently with the others, so it might take some time for us all to assemble.
I see...
Well, regardless, I want you to handle this as soon as possible. I'm on my way there now.
If the target cannot be captured, do we have permission to destroy it?



What...? Then how are we supposed to stop it...?
Just do your best. I'll call you again later.

Meanwhile, Yukari's been trying to also call someone...



Don't worry about it. Let's go back and get our equipment.
Then we can have Yamagishi's Persona scan the area. Although, this island is quite large...
Geez! Where could they be!?



The Jomon tree referenced here is a very real tree. It's also several thousand years old, which is pretty cool.

It looks like Fuuka's handwriting...
Aw man!



That's just not right!!
Well, it is your fault.

I'm glad someone else said it.

Whaddya mean? I-I just wanted to lighten up the mood...
I don't want to hear it.
Well, it doesn't matter, anyway...
We're on our own now, just the guys!
If you're outta ammo, you pick it up on the battlefield! That's one of the most basic military tactics!



And there it is...

"Babe Hunt"?
You mean, like, pick up girls...?
Whaddya think, Akihiko-san? With you on the squad, we're guaranteed to succeed!

> Akihiko is clearly hesitant...

What do you think about this?
Sounds like a hassle.
You're right, it does sound like a hassle...
Then, what're we gonna do the rest of the day?
Come on, guys! It'll be fun!



What!? WHY!?
You said yourself this is an operation.
Aw, man, that's bullshit!



End

I fully intend on taking this as seriously as I feel it deserves, don't worry.

Deep Breath Deep Breath (Reincarnation)



So, this isn't just one extended cutscene but it might as well be. We just get to walk along the beach...



And while I really want to just leave, because this is weird and awkward and Bad... Junpei's a jerk and doesn't let us.



So we're forced to play along. Great...

Let's go hit on 'em!



I would really rather do Anything But This, but... let's just get this over with, I guess.



Let's move in for the kill!
This is my area of expertise, so listen up...
First off, think of something to talk about--something they might be interested in.
Give them an easy question to get the ball rollin'. That's the golden rule.
Somethin' like, "Where're you from?" or "Havin' fun?"
Pretty soon, you'll be tossin' questions and answers back and forth like you're playin' catch.
I'll start things off, and you can ask the questions, alright?
...Here we go.



Havin' fun?

Deep Breath Deep Breath



Hey, no need to be shy... We don't bite.



Come on, cut us some slack...
We just wanna talk.
I thought you said you were an expert...
Hold your horses... I'm just getting warmed up. Watch and learn...
So, ladies, are you in college?



Nope. Not us.
...Seriously? You sure look like high schoolers from here.
*cough* S-Sorry, that's a lie.
: Oh, really?



Well, we were invited to our friend's vacation home...
Pretty cool, huh?
Good for your friend.



I guess we're just lucky...
: Yeah, lucky you. ...Whaddya want, anyway?
Nothing.
Then, take a hike.

Well, that went about as well as could reasonably be expected, let's be honest.



Hey, I did my best!
What about you, Senpai!? You think you can do any better? Come on, show us what you got.
Wh-Why should I?
Well, you're supposed to be a tactical master, right?
And, isn't it our duty to help each other succeed?
......
I guess you have a point there.

Deep Breath Deep Breath (Reincarnation)



Can you give me a hand, Makoto? I'll set the pace, of course.



I'm not sure if this is optimism or idiocy. Frankly, with this ""plan"", the line between the two is borderline non-existant...



......
What are you waiting for, Akihiko-san? Show us how it's done.
...Just keep your mouth shut.



Nobuko: Yeah, I think so. Wow, Yoshie, you can see from there?

...That's my cue.



S-Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to ask you something...

Yoshie: ...Yes?

Um... Are you here alone?



N-No, not at all...
We just thought that if you're bored, you might wanna talk...
We could get to know each other better.

Yoshie: Um, that's what it means to hit on someone.

Deep Breath Deep Breath



Nobuko: We were bored anyway, so why don't we just play along? Hey, you guys are kinda cute.
Yoshie: Nobuko!
Nobuko: Hey, how old do you think we are?

Around 20?



can we maybe just give up on this now before this manages to get even weirder?

Nobuko: Wow, you made my day... even though I know you're just trying to flatter us. To tell you the truth, we're older than that...

Oh, really? That's too ba--



I wasn't aware we brought Kenji with us...

Yoshie: You're a pretty smooth talker for someone so young. How old are you guys, anyway?

We're in high school.
I'll be graduating next year.

Nobuko: That's a bummer... We're not astrologically compatible...
Yoshie: Look, it isn't gonna happen, so just give it up. You don't even seem like you're having fun talking to us.

Right, it's boring.



Nobuko: I'm sure he was just joking.
Yoshie: Why are you being so nice to them, Nobuko!?
Nobuko: Are you kidding? When was the last time we were hit on?
Yoshie: Hey, let's head back... They're waiting for us.

Th-They? ...You mean, you have boyfriends?

Nobuko: Oh, yeah, sorry. Did we forget to mention that? Well, gotta go. We're having a barbeque at the villa. You can come if you want.

...Uh, n-no thanks.

Yoshie: See ya.



That, uh, went "fine." I don't think you really get to complain considering how awkward this entire thing is inherently.

Man, we looked like a bunch of idiots!
......
Dude, you were his wing man! Where was the support?
You let them slip through our fingers!
Seriously! Get your act together, man! Next time, I want results!

Does there really have to be a "next time"? Can't we just, like, I dunno... not?

Deep Breath Deep Breath (Reincarnation)



Okay, fine... let's just get this over with I guess...



Well, what are we waiting for?
Excuse me, miss...



Are you alone?

Lady: ...Yes, I'm completely alone. By "alone" I mean "single." Incidentally, I saw you hitting on those girls. How'd it go?

It was an utter failure.

Lady: Oh, really? That's a shame. Have you considered any... alternative approaches?



I really don't think this is the time or place for a Hercules joke.

Do you have to say it like that?

Lady: Hahahahaha! That's so stupid it's funny!

H-Hey, that's not my "A" material...

Lady: How do you expect to get a girl with that kind of attitude? You boys have no balls.

Excuse me?

Lady: You heard me.

Deep Breath Deep Breath



Lady: Be open to the possibilities... Especially you, you cute young thing...

M-Me?

Lady: Yes, you. I can tell you lack experience.



Lady: but even more timid.

H-How'd you know?

Lady: Well, if you'd like... I'd be happy to show you a thing or two...

S-Seriously!?



I'm in!

Lady: But... I don't know if I can handle all three of you, so... Who will it be?

Junpei can go.
That's right. I'm the only one who's worthy!
I'll show you that I've got balls!

Lady: Tee-hee, then I'm sure we'll have fun.

Hey, wait...
Whaaaat!? Are you trying to ruin my summer of love!?

So, this has been Insanely Awkward and Dumb so far, it's not really been super-terrible to the point of being the worst part of the game, right? Sure, but let's change that.





Lady: ...!? I-I missed a spot!?

Uh... Are you a...?

incredibly offensive stereotype that probably wasn't okay even in 2006? Yes. Yes, she is.



even the fucking namecard is bullshit what the hell

Moving veeeeeeeery swiftly on before this gets even worse

One Last Bow

Joy



*sigh*
What's wrong? I thought you weren't interested in picking up chicks.
If I'm in a match, I want to win.
I know what our problem is... You can't control yourself.
What!? Don't blame this on me!
I'm just stating the obvious.
B-But, you haven't scored either!
What did you just say...?

> Junpei and Akihiko continue to bicker...

Enough already! Leader, whose fault do you think it is?
It's both your fault.
I won't accept a stalemate! It's either him or me!
Yeah!



What's the matter? ...You see something?

Silence



He sees an anime cutscene! Oh my...



A very brief one, but still.



It really just exists to show us one character...



So I'm sure she won't be even remotely important.

Joy



Talk about saving the best for last...! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!
Man, she's cute...
I agree...



Considering the entire day so far has been just casually existing to ruin this plan whether through just getting people angry, being really bad at everything or just straight up transphobia, I can't even begin to guess where this is going to go from there...

This is our last chance to make up for failures...
But this time we should try one-by-one instead of all together. We'll have a better shot that way.
Sounds like a good plan.
Alright, then let's decide the order! We'll go clockwise, starting with the winner.
Ready...? Rock, paper, scissors!



The results are the same no matter what.

Yeah, I win!
Okay, I'll go first, Akihiko-san will go second, and you'll go last. I'm up!
Wish me luck!



So, um... do you come here often?
My name's Ju-Ju-Junpei.



She has a dialogue portrait and is voiced by Karen Strassman, but she's clearly not important so it's a clever bait and switch.

Don't worry, I-I just want to talk.
I mean, it's more fun than standing here all by yourself, isn't it?



...That's a VERY weird word choice.

O-Oh yeah...?
You are not the one.
Wow, he got shot down faster than I expected...



Heh... Don't worry about me.



Is your question directed at me?
Oh, um, yeah, I like the ocean, too.
Hey, I heard that triathletes who train at the beach perform better than those who practice indoors.
Makes sense, doesn't it?

Yeah, obviously. It's way easier to do two-thirds of it provided its not a terrible beach.

Wow, he's actually having a conversation with her! Although, something's not right...
That type of information is irrelevant to me.



It doesn't matter how long you talked to her!
......



Hey, stop crying! You're making me feel bad...
...So, that's our status.
If you can't pull this off, I'm gonna be traumatized for the rest of my life.

I'm really not seeing much of a downside to this right now.

We're on the ropes, but it's not over yet...
It's all up to you now.



Good afternoon.





I couldn't hear what he said...
But she looks surprised... We should go over there.
You are...



Once again, that's some really weird word choice you got there...



Silence



Well, what're you waiting for? Go after her!
But, it wasn't my fault.
Go tell her you're sorry!
If you don't, we'll all be in trouble! Go on, man. You can catch her if you hurry!

End

This is such a waste of time, but fine whatever.

Silence



We'll just head on into the Forest, which is a giant linear path in which nothing happens. It's as exciting as it sounds.

Anti-Shadow Weaponry





How nice of her to stick her head out like that. If she didn't, we never would've seen her...

> She must be the one who has been watching you.



I have found you.



My highest priority is to be with you!





What's going on...!? He didn't even say anything to her!





Um... What're you doing in the middle of the woods, in your swimsuits...?
You have no idea what we've--
Huh!?



Listen, we've encountered a problem.
I'm sorry to interrupt your vacation, but I need you all to go back to the house and prepare for battle.



Troubled







"Aigis"...? I'm pretty sure there's meant to be an "e" in there.

Regardless, one fade to blue later...



So, what happened to capturing the tank?
Oh, that's been taken care of.
Come here, Aigis.





I have been assigned to SEES, effective immediately.
No way... It's like she's... alive.
This is unbelievable...
She's so cute, but... she's a robot...

Well, she's more of an android in that case but even so don't even think about Junpei-ing this.



Aigis was the last to be made... and she's the only one that still remains today.
An Anti-Shadow weapon... Does that mean she...?



She suffered major damage in combat and has remained in the lab ever since.
It's still unclear as to why she suddenly reactivated herself this morning...
Well, I hope you will all get along.
An Anti-Shadow weapon with a will of her own...
This is amazing!
Um... By the way...
When I saw you earlier, it seemed like you knew him...
Yes, it is very important for me to be by his side.



Or maybe she's still half-asleep... This is quite interesting...
Hmm...
Well, I can ponder this later.
Oh, I forgot to tell you all...
You can participate in a wide range of recreational activities here.
There's a tennis court, a pool table... even a karaoke machine.
Would you care to hear me sing?



End

And with that... wonderful(?) offer, the day finally draws to a close and I guess we gained a new party member...?

Only 2 days of Yakushima left, so let's see what lies ahead for us, shall we?