Part 16: PART FIFTEEN: EXTRANEOUS BULLSHIT

Yeah, sorry it's a few hours late. Though I suppose that hardly matters in the long run.


PART FIFTEEN: EXTRANEOUS BULLSHIT



Welcome to the Spaceport! We're moments away from interplanetary adventure and science fiction hijinks!

But first we got a dead magician to fix.

: Yeah, just take your time you rotten son of a bitch.



As with most tech-bases that we control, free healing panels!

: Oh, well, thanks, I guess.



At the end of this line lies a space shuttle, with an autopilot set to the space station Zelan. What amazing things will we find up there? What mysteries will we uncover?



Fuck-all right now. We've got side quests to do!

: How the heck did we end up here?



We've got two options right now, and we're going to take both of them. They're a cinch with our current levels, even if we only have three people. First up, Missing Student.

: We have a request from the caretaker of the student dorms in Piata. 'One of the students entrusted to our care has disappeared. Please find her...' That is the message. This certainly doesn't seem to be the caliber of work for a hunter.

: Oh, yes, of course not. There's no way she could've been kidnapped by ruthless bandits or anything, no ma'am! A mere missing person, a mere dead body, what's the difference!

: The fee offered is 3000 meseta.

: YES.

: In that case, please go the* student dorms in Piata and get more details directly from the caretaker.

(*Again, I'm not forgetting to proofread; there's just no 'to' in that phrasing for some reason.)



: Well, looks like it's back to Piata again!

: I'm getting kinda sick of that place.



: The fact of the matter is that one of the female students living here is missing!

: Missing female student at a college. That NEVER ends well.

: Apparently, she has become an enthusiastic devotee of some kind of religion and just up and left. I thought the infatuation would pass and eventually she'd come back, but she still hasn't... I have the terrible responsibility of being entrusted with the care of another's child! With a blunder like this, even the academy's reputation could be tarnished! Please, could you bring her back here before things become known to the public? I appreciate the trouble I'm putting you through.

: Hmm...as far as I know there's only one religion in existence around here, so...

: ...so we'll go to Kadary?

: Not now, I'm trying to think! Hrm....



: I figured I'd save you the trouble of drilling through shorty's thick skull, Rika.

: Much appreciated.

: I remember now! In Zema they believed in sacred valley curses! That sounds culty to me! Or, hey, maybe it's Termi! Yeah, she's an Alis-cultist!

:



: Hey...maybe Zio's church has the answer?

: Alys, Light rest your soul, what the hell did you see in this kid?



: I hadn't really been going to church, hee, hee.



: Oh, goody, it's you again. Have you seen any brainwashed young women around?

: Oh, you guys, stop! Even if Zio is defeated, I'll keep on believing in him! Oh...Zio, the holy one...



: So, uh, no?



: For the last time, we don't believe in Zio's teachings! Jeez!

: I'm glad that you see the truth!

: Wait, what? Just a few days ago you were preachy as hell!

: Something must have happened to me!



: at the inn, I've accumulated!

: Nice to see you're still a good guy, buddy.



: Okay, phew. Hopefully the student wasn't the prostitute.



: Why wasn't this the first place we looked?

: Rune, when you're a hunter you gotta learn to think outside of the box!

: First, shorty, you'd have to learn how to think period.



: Wow, it's so empty compared to last time.



: I know we haven't established whether or not she's actually the student or just some other Piata citizen, but, hey, close enough! Yes, let's go back to Piata!

: You'll take me back? Th...thank...you

She then spins around for a bit.



: I...am...hungry...

: Jesus christ she's been possessed by Dark Force she's gonna eat us!

: That or she's starving, you nitwit.



: She should be given something nutritious to eat.

: Hmm, something nutritious...



: Hmm, I have some cake that's been in my pocket for a day or two. That's probably still good.

: groan, groan

: Hey! You're holding a Perolymate! Does that bring back memories! That has high nutritional value! I used to eat those back in the old days! Lemme see, let's give it to this girl!

: Alrighty!

: Yes, just slam it into her face like that. That's clearly the proper solution here.



: Hey, it worked, didn't it? Now... Thank goodness you've revived! Now, let's go back to Piata.



: Now we can keep up appearances at this dorm. We shall remit the agreed upon fee to the guild! Oh, and also...I would appreciate it if you could keep this matter to yourselves.



: Aw, she lost her face graphic.

: Fourth wall, shorty! Fourth wall!

: Anyway, we've finished the mission, so let's go back and go help Wren, please?



: Congratulations on a successful resolution! Please accept your commission fee of 3000 meseta.

: Granted it was due to Zio's spell, but how can a human being change so drastically?

: You just said it was due to his spell, meathead!

: It sure is scary! Now let's go to Zelan! Come on!



: Hold on, there's still someone that needs help down here!



: 'My son has fallen into a crack in the earth! Please help my son!' That is the message.

: We've got to do something!

: The fee offered is 5000 meseta!

: Also, yippee! Let's go save that child! ...after we spend the night in my house.

: Alys' house.

: I keep telling you, it's just as much mine as hers!



: You should tidy up after yourself.

: Yes ma'am.



: Let me see what's in it...There's a bunch of underwear in here.

: That's, um...yeah. What the hell. You own nothing but an underwear collection.

: Um, maybe this is a silly question, but it never came up in the Bio-systems Lab, and...what's underwear?

: In your case? Your outfit, pretty much.



: Years back I used to dream of raiding this place. Now I'd just feel creepy.

: Well then, let's be off-

: I didn't say it was going to stop me.

: Let's be off.

: Hey, I was kidding! Jeez.







: You see, I let my son, Tallas, play outside, but he simply disappeared. I've asked around, and I've been told that he fell into the crack in front of our house!

: So, wait, your neighbors saw your son fall into a pit and they didn't tell you about it until you came and asked them? What the hell.

: Since then, I haven't been able to do anything. Of course I want to rescue him, but creepy groaning sounds have been coming out of the crack! Oh please! Rescue my son!

: Never fear, madam! We're on the case!



: Oh, cool, someone removed the impassable sign for us.



: Ah, eh heh, wasn't expecting a sheer drop.

: Is everyone okay?

: Would the two of you kindly get off of me?

: Oops... Wh...what's this? There's an underground cave like this in Monsen?

: I wonder where on earth Tallas has gotten to?


Alright, it's narration time again. This is technically a dungeon, albeit with one floor, no treasures, and only one way out. So, it's pretty simple. When you start, head to the right. The left is the exit, and we don't want that yet.



Also, this cave is filled with slugs. These ones don't seem to use Fusion, unless I'm missing something.



However, these guys still do! But their EXP is negligable now.



: I wonder if they're Tallas'?



Just past the shoes is the only thing resembling a 'fork' in here. Still, for the sake of easiness, you wanna go up.



Lovely.



: Oh no, Chaz, Tallas... This monster couldn't have...

: Cut it out, it's bad luck to even think such a thing!

: It's coming for us!



And I assume this is why the Jr. Oozes didn't fuse. Still, this battle is treated as a regular fight despite the fancy dungeon sprite, and as such I didn't bother recording it.



The usual tactics apply, though.



He seems to enjoy using this attack. He spits off some chunks of slug or something at you.



Easily fixed, though.



: Damn it feels good to be a wizard.



: Hey, I see lightning in my light spells! Now I'm confused again.



Eventually he goes down. And holy shit, he's worth it. Two levels for Chaz, two for Rika, and one for Rune. No new abilities, though. Drat.



: Is this the other side of the planet?

: Yikes! Were you really eaten?

: Thank goodness! You seem to be all right. You would've been digested had we not come along in time.

: Oh yeah, that's right. I was attacked by some weird slug.

: You know, we saved your life.

: Oh. Thanks, mister!

: Anytime.



And away he goes! I sure hope the thirty slugs I encounter on the way out don't eat him.



The cave entrance spits you out here.



: so I went into the valley. But it didn't take me to the other side! No fun!



: I'm so glad he's safe! I mustn't let him out of my sight again. I shall send the agreed upon commission fee to the Guild.

: Mission accomplished!



: Thank goodness the child was safe! Your commission fee of 5000 meseta has already been remitted. Please accept it!

: Will do!

: ...that's it? You two aren't going to do your usual after mission banter?

: Nah.

(There's no fanfare when you bring the kid home alive, either. Whereas finding some stubborn dog got me fanfare AND a little banter. What the hell?)



Okay, we've wasted enough time. To the spaceship site!



We'll just heal up first, and then...



...go to Nurvus to grind for a bit because Sartak and Seiren mentioned it in the thread and it sounded like a good idea.

: We're never going to get to Wren, are we?



Three of these guys give more EXP than Zol Slug fusions and are easier and quicker to kill. So that right there is good. Also, the other monsters here are comparable.



Also, I use Seals for the very first time ever! And it works!

In the end, Rika picks up three levels, and no skills. Chaz gets three levels, and Brose and Gizan, with Gizan helping to make Blizzard and Firestorm stronger when paired with Rune's Giwat or Gifoi. Rune gains only two levels, but learns Gigra and the instant kill skill Diem.

So, basically, our three intrepid heroes are little killing machines. I decided to go fight a sand worm again to see if it goes any better.



Multiple save-states and earthquakes later, we finally kill it!



And Rika alone gets a fuckton of EXP.



And somehow only gains one damn level out of it and learns nothing. Gah. Not doing that again for a while.



Okay, next time we will actually be heading to Zelan. No lie!




NEXT TIME ON PHANTASY STAR 4

It's raining machines!