Part 14: in the event that everything should go terribly wrong
Vilucard has the highest special attack of every dark-type in Uranium, and even then it still has more attack than special attack.
Dark Pulse is so disappointing for once.
PU-Route9.ogg
As the song's title indicates, this is route 9. It's just a way back to Rochfale and the rest of Tandor. The subway's finally available, too. You know, shouldn't Fly be?
In terms of renaming classes pointlessly, this is even weirder.
Pyromaniacs, prediactly, use fire-types.
Payapa berries reduce super-effective Psychic damage by half, basically negating the super-effective bonus. It's with a few other berries like it for other types. That's actually nice to get! These berries are useful and have interesting applications, if you need them.
Route 9 is mostly a straight line becuase we're here at the daycare, finally!
Oh right TM.
Eshouten is the only Pokemon who has any reason to use this, as every other flier has more special attack than physical or has better moves to use.
Oh thanks. It's a 50% experience multiplier.
The daycare has some thing where one step gives the Pokemon in it one experience point, but the real purpose is that two Pokemon of opposite genders with an egg group in common will get to fuckin' and make a baby.
To that point I put Sexhaver Sr and Lefty in t-
Already? I guess he was serious about being named sexhaver.
Well it'll take some time for the baby to be born, so let's see the new faces for route 9.
We've seen a coupe of these about with NPC trainers, but we finally get one ourself.
Normal/Psychic dude, with a new ability called Soundboost, that boosts sound.
Flager has a 8-to-1 gender ratio, but Beefcake's ability Cute Charm causes wild Pokemon to frequently be female. He's part of a pair with Cheesecake, who causes more dudes to crawl out of the woodwork.
What a li'l cutie. It's a fire/poison thing with Petrify, a new ability that's like Intimidate, but for Speed, so better than Intimidate.
Fire/Poison has some notable resistances like quartering fairy, grass, and bug, and resisting fighting and other fairy Pokemon. Almost enough to make you forget its immense EQ weakness.
My dad named this one.
Comehead is finally important. It's time.
To fuck.
After all, that Flager is to have a very important baby.
With all the trainers defeated, it's easy to ride back and forth over the long, straight path to rack up enough steps for a baby to hatch, but I have things to do in the meantime.
Like this really nice move to get from a TM. Rock is an important coverage type for a lot of guys, so its low power and imperfect accuracy are easy to forgive.
We've barely passed the threshold for the next reward.
It's the stones for Minicorn's HERO and DARK evolutions.
Let's see what comes out of these eggs!
The egg from the lady in Bealbeach hatches into an amoeba! He's named Gooey!
And Sexhaver Sr's son i-
wait
is he red
Well, uh, I have a shiny.
Let's pawn him on the GTS for a starter!
Hell, let's pitch this dumb Corsoreef on the GTS!
Comite's final form is a space monster named Astronite! That's one way to handle a trade evolution.
Astronite is weird, Technician with Ancient Power and Ominous Wind is an interesting trick, Nasty Plot/Earth Power/Hidden Power/Recover/Moonblast is plenty of stuff with which to work.
But this goober has Sturdy! How useless!
The Tinkerer is a great idea - using items to replicate HM functions - executed obnoxiously.
Because he only gives you an item when you get the next HM, so because we have Strength he replaces Rock Smash.
Why... have HMs then?
Why? Why why why why why whwyhwhywhyhhywhywhywhehywhyhweyhqergh8a9bna9h nw3489th am9wegm89 ah789wpbm a789pb psd
Oh hey, Flager and Comehead's baby is ready to join the world!
At this point I was sorta confused, because I was pretty sure Flager didn't have blue flames.
Indeed, I have yet another shiny.
Unlike that Barand, though, this lad has a purpose.
Immediately I jam a fire stone down his throat and he evolves into a cheetah-gazelle. Evolving him at level 1 may seem weird but there's a thing:
Ever since Ruby & Sapphire, there's been an NPC that can teach moves from a Pokemon's level-up moves. Thing is, stone evolutions like Inflagetah that have no normal level-up moves have some things at level 1, ostensibly for that purpose.
But this guy is level 1, and he's gonna try to learn every one of his level 1 moves.
Including its big fucking deal.
At +2 it'll go in front of +1 things, not that it needs it because it is literally faster than everything.
By the way, Inflagetah has a new ability, Acceleration, that boosts priority move damage by 50%.
You know, up there with Bisharp Sucker Punches and Talonflame's Brave Birds, but with no conditions or drawbacks.
Extreme Speed is another +2 priority move, the official one, good enough for like nearly everything that actually gets it. I don't need it.
After all, Flager has some really fucked up egg moves, and Modrille learns 3 of them in a row. We already know Rock Slide, but...
Defining Pokemon since the first fucking second, Earthquake is the most important move in the universe. For Inflagetah it means rock-types and opposing fire-types cannot stop it.
Also it can double its attack whenever it wants.
Say hello to Rocket Man.
Other end of route 9 is that gate that had the three identical cops, so we're back to the rest of Tandor.
This boulder in Route 4 is the way on.
Amatree is so remote it doesn't have power. This is really stupid and serves useful purpose.
One Pokemon in Uranium is normal with Guts, Tanscure. Only real time you'd want Facade instead of Return.
Route 10, the rainforest, is shockingly in perpetual rain.
There are trees with a ton of berries, it's worth picking them. They're the same berries we got as a sample waaaaaaay back when.
Rocket Man (it takes way too long for me to actually go to the name rater) glistens every time he enters battle, because he's my precious shiny Inflagetah.
Base 150 speed. That is far, far faster than everything else in Uranium. It's so fast that it's this fucking high with zero investment. Between this and Flame Impact, I can just make it TUFF AND SWOLE.
Route 10 has YET MORE NEW THINGS
Hey it's this thing. Boring mono-bug that evolves into something fuck'd up.
Something that flies, hence the name.
Level 28 is no big deal, we're already past that on average.
130 base attack with Gale Wings, you know, because Talonflame wasn't a big enough deal with 84. +1 Priority Air Slash with a decent special attack. What about its other moves? STAB U-turn, Knock Off, Drill Run, Dragon Dance, Gunk Shot, Sticky Web, Tailwind, it just has a million moves, fuck you.
Just, two big mean priority spammers in one update, with way too big movepools.
Fuck.
On that end, a mono-grass monkey that becomes an average fire/grass goober. Just average, hah.
And we can get our own Chicoatl now.
Route 10 courses in and out of a cave. What cave?
OH NO
WE FUCKED UP