Part 19: NWS - Gotta go to Work, Work all Night. Search for Underpants, Hey!
CONSIDER THIS UPDATE REALLY FUCKING NOT WORK SAFEGreetings everyone. Last time we ended on a bit of an unintentional cliffhanger. So let's recap, shall we?
Video:
Good recap. Anyway, let's see just what it is these strangers want.
: Time to go to work! Work all night! Search for underpants hey! We won't stop until we have underpants! Yum tum yummy tum tayyy!
I'm sure a good many of you already know what's coming. I mentioned in the OP that this game won the "Best Moment or Sequence" award from Giant Bomb's 2014 Game of the Year coverage. This sequence here is just why. I would link to the text recap, but there are several spoilers for the coming day in there.
I'm just going to quote parts of the awards page here.
Giant Bomb GOTY 2014 posted:
In the end, the moment we chose is the one that first sprung to mind when talking about this game. It was the scene we were all texting each other about as we played through the game, remarking to one another about our disbelief at what we had just experienced, questioning whether this was even something you could get away with in an M-rated game.
Intrigued yet? Just hang on.
: OH SHIT HE'S AWAKE!
: What?!
: This kid is AWAKE! What the fuck do we do?!
: Oh, fuck!
: I guess we gotta kill him!
: All right, fuck it, let's kill him.
The end of day 2 really does a good job of demarcating just where the game stops being grounded in reality. Alien abductions and nazi zombie goo aren't really realistic, but compared to everything that follows, they're downright grounded.
By the way, this is the highest damage we're ever going to achieve in this game. The gnomes really shouldn't have tried to take on Douchebag. This also just shows how much extra damage you get from hitting a weakness. This here is adding another 66% on top of what it already dealt.
You have to admit, these gnomes are tenacious bastards. Not many people can so easily stand back up after taking a Pyre Ball from Douchebag.
: Shit, he's too big! We can't beat him!
: Well if you can't beat em, SHRINK em! Go ahead, Warlock!
: (starting fight) Any last words, pussy?
: (starting fight) You fucked with the wrong gnome.
: (starting fight) I'm gonna tear your fucking balls off.
: (idle) I'm on a schedule, here.
: (idle) I could be collecting underpants right now.
: (idle) Just cause I'm small doesn't mean you can ignore me!
: (attacking/channeling) DIE!
: (channeling) Little shit!
: (channeling) Magic, bitch!
: (channeling) You are SO FUCKED!
: (channeling) Fucking cocksucker motherfucker!
: (attacking/channeling) Suck on that!
: (if hit while shielded) You hit like a bitch!
: (being hit) Ow!
: (being hit) Fuck!
: (being hit) Christ!
: (being hit) No way!
: (being hit) Jesus fuck!
: (being hit) You pigfucker!
: (dying) I wish I'd spent more time gathering underpants!
These guys have really filthy mouths. They also have a bunch of attacks they can pull out. Presumably you weren't meant to nuke them with a fire-driven missile like happened again.
A frost attack. Excuse me while I yawn.
: Holy shit, run! (they run into the hole in your wall)
I'll have to show the Gnome set off later. As you can see from the above screenshot, Douchebag is wearing his battlemage armor. Anyway, let's chase these bastards.
This rat looks pretty nasty. Let's try another route. See those green and blue wires on the far end of the screenshot? You can climb up those.
Another piece of the Gnome set, as well as another item in the "bounces randomly between enemies" class of weapons.
Up here we can attack the cracked pipe.
The pipe leaks water near the rat, which is then electrocuted by bad wiring.
Which makes it run away in fear right into the waiting arms of a mousetrap. That pouch, by the way, is where we found the loot I posted up above.
Video:
Now that the rat is gone, we can enter the ventilation box it was guarding. This is also the approximate point where shit flies permanently off the rails. Buckle up guys. If you can, you should watch the video linked above.
: I just sometimes feel like we should tell him the truth.
: Why?! So he can relive it all in his head? It's better that he can't remember!
: But, if he really has this 'gift' h-he's going to discover it again on his own anyway.
: And then they'll try and use him for his gift and he'll become a weapon. They WON'T stop looking for him - we have to keep everything secret, even from him.
: I'm so frazzled. Will you just... make love to me?
: Of course I will, darling.
: Ahh...
For the remainder of this sequence, you can hear both Mom and Dad moaning and grunting in the background. Yes, the Stick of Truth just went there.
Over to the far left of the next screen are some minor electric hazards and a pouch with loot in it.
That's the last of the Gnome set. The pickaxe head makes your attacks ignore 100 armor. The upcoming boss has 2200 armor, so ignoring 4% of that is not remotely worthwhile.
Over to the right, up above the ventilation box, we can find a rat stuck in the walls. That sparking wire is going to cause a fire some day.
Like so. Luckily we can put it out with a fart.
Another rat can be impaled with the shard of a broken pipe. The last one we have to fight ourselves, but it goes down in a single round of attacks and is otherwise identical to other rats we've fought.
We find this over on the far right side of the screen. The pickaxe ignores armor on each attack. For the reasons I discussed above, it's not exactly useful.
The wall socket is our way out.
: Oh fuck yeah!
: Yeah, FUCK ME! MORE!
: Yeah... MMM!
: OOOOHH... y-OHH, yeah, yeah, yeah, YEAH (etc)
One of this game's many achievements wants you to stand and watch your parents have sex for a full minute. There's nothing worth doing on the nightstand, so just head over to the right.
: Oh fuck yeah!
: Yeah!
: Oh, shit, the kid is still following us!
: He's not gonna stop until he finds a way to become normal size again! That means he's coming after YOU, Warlock!
: What?! Ah, FUCK!
More combat against gnomes, more gnome slaughter. They're awfully weak to fire and having missiles dropped on their heads.
The underpants helmet grosses out anyone who attacks you, and the patch gives you 1PP when you're attacked. The patch is potentially pretty useful!
See this gold staple? That's the hard point of no return for this section. Once you "use" it, you're locked into the boss fight. So ensure you have everything before you do so.
Video:
This video has the boss fight.
: I'm not changing you back! I don't care what you do to me!
: FUCK ME! FUCK ME YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER! Come on, fuck me I said! That all you got bitch?
: Yeah! Call me a bitch!
: I just did you dirty little bitch!
: Yeah I'm a real dirty bitch! Wanna see me in the panties?
: You couldn't just let it go, could you?! You couldn't just let us take your underpants! No, you had to go and start asking QUESTIONS! Well now you shall see the true power of an underpants gnome!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final boss fight of day 2. We're fighting an underpants gnome on our parents' bed, in the middle of our parents having "torrid, rough, middle-aged person sex."
: (starting fight) NOW you've done it, fucker. It's time for some REAL underpants magic.
: (SHRINK UNDERWEAR) Here comes some serious shrinkage!
: (SHRINK UNDERWEAR) Those underpants look a little loose!
This is the only attack he managed to get off. It inflicts ability down if you don't dodge it.
According to the Stick of Truth wikia, he also has an attack where he gives you a wedgie. It also inflicts ability down, though I've never actually seen it happen.
: (LEVITATE) Lift... and... separate!
: (LEVITATE) Rise, underpants, RISE!
There's also this attack. Hanging low.
: (HANGING LOW) Oh, fuck me, BALLS!
: (HANGING LOW) Oh, shit, low bridge!
: (HANGING LOW) Holy shit, it's coming right for us!
Press the button prompt to dodge your dad's testicles. If you fail to do so, they smack you in the head and you take damage. I also would like to point out that the youtube thumbnail for the boss fight, before I changed it, was a perfect still shot of Dad's balls swinging at the camera.
The boss fight isn't very hard. Like every other boss, we absolutely wreck his shit with bleed damage. The first time I played this, I wasn't nearly as good at the game and I had to dodge something like three "HANGING LOW" attacks before the warlock finally went down.
My first time though the game I also didn't use any weapon or armor patches. I'd say I wasn't very smart, but that was less than a year ago.
: Alright alright! You win! Take this! Take it!
: You can grow small or big whenever you feel like it! All we wanted was to collect underpants to stop the Taco Bell from releasing its toxic green goo into our underground world! You see, the green goo is actually a- RAAAAAAUAUUAUGH!
See you guys next time when we start day 3.