Part 13: The Future Gadget Laboratory has an unexpected guest

About 3 minutes ago, Daru picked a banana from the banana bunch that Mayuri asked me to buy and put it in the Microwave Ophone (Temp).

Or so it should've been. But now, there's not even a trace of a banana ever being picked... and instead of it, there's a gelified banana, perfectly connected to the rest of the bunch.



Looks like Daru noticed, as well. In a state of confusion, I try to touch it, but restrain myself.

"Daru, how many bananas are there in the lab right now?"

"P-Probably only these..."

"Is the place where the gelbana is right now the same as the place you took the banana from?"

"I, I dunno... This gelbana is perfectly connected..."

Yes, perfectly connected. I don't see any damage. Besides being gelified, it looks perfectly natural. It doesn't seem like someone took a banana, gelified it, and then put the banana back.

"H-Hey, Daru... Could this..."



Now, I have trouble even whispering them again. However, no matter how unbelievable this is, I saw it with my own eyes...!

"...be actual... Teleportation?!"



I hear a woman's voice from the lounge.

"That's an interesting experiment you're doing there."

"W-Who's that?!"

I just felt my heart skip a beat. Overwhelmed by surprise, I quickly face the direction of the voice... and I get pierced by a sharp glance aimed right at me.

"I-Impossible...! Why are you here...?!"





"Makise Kurisu!"

"Nice explanation, bro..."

"Who are you calling a zombie?!"

"What's the meaning of this?! With what purpose did you come here...?"

"I came here to meet you, Okabe Rintarou. No, Hououin Kyouma, right?"

What?! Why does she know my real name? I'm sure that I never told her...!

"I get it... So you're an agent of The Organization, and a superhuman, as well...! You are one of the undying!"

"I never died. Please don't kill me off, okay? Hashida, can you do something about this person?"

"He's only panicking because you appeared at a time like this."

Daru doesn't seem to be perplexed by the appearance of this woman. Why, exactly?

"Daru, did you betray me?!"



"Did she get a hold of your weakness? Were you deceived by her charms?"

I glare at Makise Kurisu. Damn you for doing this to my right hand man!

"I won't forgive you, you biiiiitch!"

"Calm down."

I think I just saw Makise Kurisu's eyes light up a bit. Intensity which you wouldn't expect of an 18 year old.



I guess I should calm down for now.

"I found out about this place from Hashida after the lecture ended. Your name, as well."

What a boring truth. I am disappointed.

"You said that you came here to talk to me, right?"

"Yes. I wanted to find out if what you said about me dying was the truth or an excuse for sexual harassment."

Now that she mentions it, she treated me as a pervert yesterday... Looking back at it, it's kind of amazing that she didn't call the cops on me.

But it can't be helped. I think that anyone would react similarly to seeing a dead person appear right in front of them.

"I can tell from your current behavior that it was nothing but sexual harassment, which means I was right."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't jump to conclusions so quickly. You're misunderstanding me."

If this keeps up, I'll be marked as a pervert! I was clear up the misunderstanding!

"Well, I'll leave that aside for now."

"Eh, you will?"



Even though she's only 18, she's got quite a nice figure. The way she walks also looks good. There's not much around the chest area, though!

In this cramped space, Dari and I falter and try to stay some distance away from her. Damn you, the development room is off limits for unauthorized people!

"By the way, I don't think I properly introduced myself yet. I am Makise Kurisu. It's nice to meet you."

After saying that, she extends her hand towards me with a sour look on her face. What is this gesture?



"You can't even do a handshake? Japanese men sure lack common sense..."

A handshake? This genius girl who I met only yesterday and who marked me as a pervert is asking me for a handshake?

"Are you a westerner?!"

"I lived in America for 7 years."

Thin, supple, lovely fingers. Healthy, elegant and real fingernails with no unnecessary manicures. I fix my gaze on that beauty. While standing in a ready-to-run position, I slowly extend my hand.



"You're shaking too much."

"I can feel your killing intent. This is commonly referred to as martial arts."

"No it isn't."

"Then it's ninja--"

"I'm telling you, it isn't."

Kuh, this woman is too cool-headed. Her way of speaking becomes scary sometimes.



"No, a hug would be more American!"

Or is that impossible for man-made machine soldiers?

"Just how narrow-minded are you?"

She already turned her eyes away from me. Now, her gaze is aimed at the banana bunch next to the Microwave Ophone. Specifically, the banana which was part of a ridiculous phenomenon that happened just now. The only one in the bunch which is gelified.

"This is truly interesting."

Bringing her face close to it, Kurisu is thoroughly observing the banana.







"No!"

"Right."

Kurisu pierces the gelatinous banana with her index finger. She buries it deep inside the soft and flabby banana.

"What are you doing?! That's valuable experimental data!"

"It's mushy."

Kurisu quickly pulls out the finger. Some of the gelatinous substance is left on the tip. Without any hesitation, she puts it into her mouth.

"No taste, huh? Eww."



"No thanks."

"Also, those bananas belong to Mayushi."

"No need to restrain yourself. I am telling you that I'll give you one!"

"As if I'd eat a pervert's banana."



Daru's body shakes as if he just got an electric shock. What? What's with him?

"Eating, a pervert's banana... Mushy.... finger..."

Looks like his intracranial pervert processor started working at maximum speed.

"Miss Makise. Could you say that one more time? With a scowl, if possible."

"What?"

""Come on, say 'As if I'd eat a pervert's banana.', and it'd be good if you can add 'Aah, but...' afterwards."

"...Hm? Hmm?"
"...!"





"Fwahahaha, Daru, you may be hopeless garbage and a disgusting pervert, but what you did just now is awesome!"

This is my first win against her! I must continue and make a nice combo attack! Let's show this conceited little girl how adults fight!

"So, Makise Kurisu. What did you imagine just now? Please, don't hesitate in telling us! Fwahahahaha!"



"You idiot!"

Perking up her shoulders, Kurisu faces away from us. Looks like she does have human-like emotions. I guess that rules out her being a man-made machine soldier.

Right now, I feel very refreshed. This is probably the best I've felt these past few years. As expected of my right hand man Daru. He's done an excellent job.

"So both of you are perverts..."

"Well, I..."

Don't blush, you idiot.

"I don't want to have you calling me that."

"Okay. I apologize for my upstart behavior."

Kurisu sighs deeply and faces us again. Her facial expression is calm and collected.



Will you stop saying 'for now'? It worries me that you might call the cops on me later.

"I want you to explain it to me in detail. About this banana, and about this..."

Kurisu throws a glance at the Microwave Ophone (Temp).

"...Microwave oven."

"It's top secret. Though, if I were to tell an outsider like you just one thing, I would tell you that the name of this thing is the Microwave Ophone (Temp)."

"(Temp)?"

"The name is still temporary."

"I don't care about the name."

"But the name is the only thing I can tell you."

"But Okarin, Miss Makise might be able to explain this weird function, you know?"

"Hm, that's..."

Well, Kurisu IS a genius... a genius to the extent of being able to beat me in an argument. But, I really can't stomach her impudent attitude. This girl is too dangerous.

I thought of a good idea just now.



"You said your name was Cristina, right?"

"Who are you calling Cristina? I never said that!"

It sounds like something from a Hollywood movie, so I thought it fits the atmosphere.

"If you want to know the secrets behind this microwave oven, there are conditions which you must meet."

"What are they?"

"Condition #1: You must become a lab mem."

"Ramen?"

"Lab mem, you fool! Laboratory member!"



"I will have you write an oath in which you will promise to never expose our secrets to outsiders. If you break that promise, I will report to SCIENCE magazine that you're a lewd pervert."

"Kuh..."

"You're a demon, Okarin. I'd buy 5 copies of that magazine if it came out."

"From the moment you become a lab mem, I will use your brain until you go back to your country."

"...That pride is annoying. Okay, then, show me the contract."

"There is no such thing! This is a circle, not a company."



"There aren't any, so calm down."

"Sexual harassment, then?"

"I'm not gonna do that!"

"You said Condition #1', right? Then there must be other conditions as well. It's fully possible that it’s something perverted--"

"Condition #2 is that you will ignore all of the sexual harassment that I did up until now."

"..."



"I don't want you to tell me that. By the way, Daru's sexual harassment is not included in condition #2. You talk that out amongst yourselves."

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Those are the only 2 conditions! If you don't accept them, then I politely ask you to leave! Heh heh, what is your answer? I think the conditions are pretty good."

"Good for you, that is."

Putting a finger against her temple, she exaggeratedly swings her head from side to side.

"Jeez... It feels like you're making my brain produce excess noradrenaline. What a jaw-dropping feeling."

"I don't care if you get some jaw-joint illness! Just answer whether you do or don't accept the conditions, Cristina!"

"Stop adding 'tina'! I am Kurisu!"

As if to make herself calm down, she looks up at the ceiling. Does Kurisu react like that because she grew up in America? It looks like she's about to say 'DAMN!' or 'OH MY GOD!' or 'MOTHERFUCK!'




(As of this update, anyone following along can safely watch episode 2 of the anime.)